Page 79 of Weekends with the Sunshine Gardening Society
Cynthia laughs, which irks Lorraine even as she understands why she’s being laughed at.
‘Take a look around,’ Cynthia says, gesturing ahead of them to the path that leads into the park, then to the sea at their left, with the beach stretching all the way around for kilometres and kilometres, the sun on the water and surfers paddling out to the break.
She’d probably love it, Lorraine thinks, if dolphins could pop up right about now, thereby proving her point that outside isgreat.
There are dolphins here. Lorraine has seen them. She’s seen whales too. So that’s not a far-fetched idea.But stillshe wouldn’t want Cynthia to have the satisfaction of being able to rave about howamazingoutside is when all Lorraine wants to do is curl up in a ball and feel sorry for herself, preferably with a box of Roses chocolates and a Jackie Collins novel. They’re her usual go-tos when she needs comfort.
‘All right, I get it,’ she concedes. ‘It’s full of life or something.’
‘It is. And sometimes I think being in a place as glorious as this can at the very least be a distraction.’
They’re silent for a while as they continue walking to Boiling Pot. There are plenty of pandanus palms and vines and things that Shirl would be able to identify but Lorraine has no idea. She can, however, identify the rubbish in the bush to their right: chip packets and aluminium cans and ice-cream sticks.
‘So I guess that’s what Barb’s talking about,’ Lorraine says, pointing to a small mound of rubbish. Lately Barb’s been like a broken record on the subject of litter in the park and how someone needs to do something, but she doesn’t have time at the moment.
‘Yes, and it’s the whole way along,’ Cynthia says.
As they reach Tea Tree Bay they can see a cluster of surfers waiting for the next wave – although the surf isn’t that big so Lorraine thinks they’ll be waiting a while. Once winter is over the swell isn’t nearly as impressive and nor are the opportunities for a good wave, although it would be nice to sit out there on a board, feeling the swell beneath you. Maybe seeing a dolphin.
So okay, Cynthia is right. Outside is pretty good.
Lorraine glances at her friend and finds her absorbed in their surroundings.
‘It’s beautiful,’ she breathes as she catches Lorraine looking. ‘When we were young I didn’t pay attention.’
‘Who pays attention to anything when they’re young?’ Lorraine says. ‘I didn’t either. We took it for granted, but that’s what kids do.’
Ahead on the path there’s a man walking towards them wearing a long T-shirt and … nothing else, which Lorraine can tell by the sideways movement going on.
‘Cyn! Cyn!’ she hisses as he passes, then she starts to giggle.
‘What?’ Cynthia looks at her quizzically.
‘That bloke!’ Lorraine jerks a thumb over her shoulder, then turns to look and sees the half-moons of his bum and giggles some more.
Cynthia looks too. ‘No!’ she says.
‘Yes! Bloody nude in the national park!’
‘And big enough for us to tell,’ Cynthia says with a wink. ‘No doubt he’s proud of himself.’
Lorraine laughs so hard that she starts to cough. ‘Do you think there’s any more of them in there? Because I’m looking to trade mine in.’
‘I don’t blame you,’ Cynthia says, then presses her lips together in the universal expression of disapproval.
Lorraine appreciates the fact that Cynthia hasn’t once suggested she ‘work it out’ with Mike, that it’s her duty to forgive him to keep the family together. All she’s been interested in is what Lorraine wants to do. How Lorraine is feeling. Sometimes she asks about the boys, but mainly she’s focused on Lorraine.
The kids are in bits, of course, because their father’s sleeping on a li-lo in the garage and Lorraine won’t make meals for him, although neither parent has told them what’s going on.
Cora asked Lorraine what was happening, which Lorraine found ridiculous – she couldn’t ask her son,the cause of the problem? But no, Cora wouldn’t do that because how could Mike ever be to blame for anything. It would have to be Lorraine’s fault.
Well, let’s see how Cora likes it when Lorraine kicks them both out, because if Mike goes for good Cora will have to go with him.
It’s still anif, though. Lorraine hasn’t kicked him out yet. Part of her likes keeping him guessing about what she’s going to do next, but the reality is she’s so angry most of the time she can’t think straight, so she doesn’t know what she wants to do.
Her mother’s said she’ll support her whatever. And she knows Cynthia will. It’s good to have people who believe in you.
Lorraine doesn’t believe in Mike any more and that’s a sad situation after so many years of a good marriage. But how can she trust him? She still doesn’t even know the true extent of their financial problems, which means she doesn’t know what she’ll have to do to get out of them. All she knows is that she’ll have to take care of the kids financially, because Mike will be earning money to pay back his debt – Lorraine refuses to be responsiblefor that. That was the argument they had the day after he told her the truth: he’d insisted that because they’re married all her money is his; she’d insisted that marriage doesn’t mean lying to your wife and risking your children’s stability and security by gambling on the stock market. That was the last time they had a conversation that lasted longer than two minutes.
