Page 59 of Weekends with the Sunshine Gardening Society
All those nights at home alone after Charlie has gone to bed she could be wallowing, and certainly the temptation has been there. She doesn’t do it, though – she reads books, she plays music, she listens to the radio. She stays in the world and doesn’t go under.
‘I guess …’ She smiles weakly. ‘I guess I was feeling like I was doing fairly well. Then she said that and … It’s like the whole thing started again.’
Olive nibbles on a Venetian, then puts the biscuit down.
‘Here’s a little tip for you,’ she says. ‘It never ends. So it can’t start again. I’d say you’d just reached a point where you weren’t thinking about it all the time, am I right?’
Elizabeth contemplates this, then nods slowly.
‘And thenboom, along comes Madam Busybody and she gives you a word to latch onto. Because believe me, I know, our little brains like latching onto things. So here’s this word.Widow. There – I said it.’ She gives Elizabeth a mischievous smile. ‘And your brain’s been having a rest, see, from all this grief. But it grabs onto that word and doesn’t want to let go. Know why?’
Elizabeth shakes her head.
‘Because you were in the habit of grieving. It’s like smoking, right? If you try to give it up you have to stay away from other smokers because otherwise, bang, one sniff of it and you’re gone.’
Elizabeth isn’t quite sure if there’s a connection but she’s not prepared to argue the point.
‘What you haven’t worked out, though, is what’s good about this,’ Olive says. ‘Youweren’t thinking about itas often as you used to.’
Elizabeth’s breath catches.
‘And I know. Iknow.’ Olive reaches over and pats her hand. ‘That means you weren’t thinking abouthim. And that makes you feel like you betrayed him.That’swhy you’re sad.’
Now there’s a shuddering in Elizabeth’s chest because she knows Olive is right. Even if she’s never acknowledged it to herself, that’s exactly what’s been happening.
Olive holds up a finger and wags it at her. ‘You don’t need to cry about that. You’re not betraying him. You’re doingfine. So drink your tea, eat a biscuit and get going. Marco’ll be here shortly.’
The front door opens and closes.
‘I mean now,’ Olive says. ‘He’s here now. Come on, pick up your cup and saucer.’
Olive doesn’t wait for her. Obviously she trusts Elizabeth to do as she’s ordered.
And Elizabeth does, wiping a finger under each eye, sniffing back the tears that were threatening to appear, and carrying her tea and the plate of Venetians to the front desk.
SEPTEMBER 1987
WIDE BAY BORONIA
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
It’sreally hard for Lorraine to not get tetchy about the jobs that haven’t been done around their house because Mike is busy doing jobs at other people’s houses. Yes, yes, that brings in the money and they need the money, and it’s great that Mike is so popular that he’s booked out seven days a week. He and Lorraine talked about whether he should really work that much, but she said he’d best make hay while the sun shines – even if now she regrets saying it because their garden is amessand it’s not as if Terry will help her, or Cora. And she’s not going to ask Simon because he actually would help and, even though she likes the idea of giving him jobs, he should enjoy being a kid for a while longer.
So, yes, Lorraine gets tetchy about the jobs that aren’t done but she knows she shouldn’t because if Mike’s this busy he probably isn’t going to the TAB. Also because her own work is part of the reason why the jobs aren’t done. Because Mike has so many jobs, she’s flat out doing the bookkeeping and taking the phone calls, and fitting in the odd lawn-mow when he can’t.
She’s considered offering other gardening services now that she’s had a bit of practice with the Sunshine Gardening Society. Could be a bit cheeky – do some voluntary work then make money off it. But she enjoys it too. That’s surprised her. All thatrummaging around in leaf litter, getting her trousers dirty and herself sweaty, and she’s feeling happier than she has in a while.
So that’s why, when she was complaining to Cynthia about her own garden being a mess and Cynthia suggested the two of them do some work on it, Lorraine said yes. And that’s also why they’re sitting on their haunches in front of some maidenhair ferns doing some careful pruning while Cora’s off at some church thingy and Terry and Simon are watching television.
The first time Cora started going to church – or saying that’s where she’s going, because who knows what old people get up to when no one’s watching – Lorraine remarked to Mike that she didn’t think there was a Greek Orthodox church anywhere on the Sunshine Coast. Mike said she was going to the local Catholic church, and Lorraine replied with, ‘Any port in a storm, eh?’ which didn’t go down so well. He got upset, saying she wasn’t taking his mother’s faith seriously. Lorraine said that wasn’t the case – in fact, she takes everything about Cora seriously because she has to live with the woman and it’s no barrel of laughs. That bit she didn’t say out loud, though. Instead she apologised and told Mike she’d make him beef Wellington, which is his favourite but which she can never be bothered with because it involves puff pastry and why would you make that if you don’t have to? But she did, and he was happy.
Now every time Cora says she’s going to church, Lorraine smiles sweetly and bids her goodbye and counts herself lucky for the reprieve. Which is why she’s got Cynthia over here on a Sunday morning. She’s determined to not inflict Cora on Cynthia. Or, rather, she wants to keep Cynthia to herself because almost everything else in her life seems to belong to her family.
‘How often do you prune these ferns?’ Cynthia says, peering at some brown, withered fronds.
‘Um …’ Lorraine smiles brightly to offset her slackness. ‘Never.’
‘Hm, well, I won’t lecture you because you should know better now you’ve been doing some gardening.’
