Page 112 of Weekends with the Sunshine Gardening Society
Cynthia shuffles across, then sits and crosses her legs like she’s settling in for a chat.
‘That lovely house?’ she says. ‘Why?’
‘I know it’s lovely,’ Elizabeth says quickly. ‘It’s nothing to do with the house itself.’
Cynthia frowns.
‘I mean,’ Elizabeth adds, ‘the house is perfectly functional and we like living in it. And the garden – I so appreciate it. But …’ She pauses and closes her eyes, hoping that when she just says it straight they’ll understand. ‘But it feels like Jon’s house,’ she says, her eyes open again. ‘He chose it. He loved it. I have loved it too. It’s not that.’
Now she worries that she’s going to sound brutal, like she’s moved on too quickly. Should she even be concerned about that? These aren’t people who knew Jon.
‘It’s that you want to move on with your life,’ Cynthia says. ‘Because it’syourlife, not his.’
There’s a hint of sadness around her eyes then it’s gone, and Elizabeth is grateful she’s been saved having to give an explanation.
‘Makes sense,’ says Lorraine. ‘What do you reckon, Kath?’
Kathy has now joined them, glancing enquiringly from one to the other. ‘About what?’
‘Liz is planning to sell the house.’
‘Oh.’ Kathy’s face falls.
‘Are you thinking about the garden?’ Cynthia asks.
‘Maybe.’ Kathy looks sheepish.
‘We did a job, that’s all,’ Cynthia says. ‘It’s always been Elizabeth’s to do with as she wishes.’
‘I know.’ Kathy shrugs. ‘It just seems … sad, I guess. Sorry, Elizabeth – that probably sounds mean.’
It’s nothing Elizabeth hasn’t thought herself, except she’s past it now. So past it that the other morning, just before she woke – which is when she always has the most intense dreams – she dreamt she was flying. Soaring, actually. She was over Brisbane then the Sunshine Coast, over rivers and beaches. While she was flying she felt she could go anywhere and do anything, and it was so thrilling that she cried when she woke because her waking life doesn’t feel that free. Not that she’ll share that with the others because they’ll probably think her a little odd. But it planted the idea in her head that she could, one day, be that free. That she could go wherever she wants to, if only she’s unencumbered by the worries that weigh her down. Like the house, because it feels like it is the entire weight of her past, and she now believes that she deserves to look to the future.
‘It’s not mean,’ she replies to Kathy. ‘Because you’re right, it is sad. The whole situation is sad. But the house and the garden have served their purpose and Charlie and I need to leave them behind. It’s just the two of us now. We need to make a new home that can be ours alone.’
‘That makes sense,’ Kathy says.
‘Can we have a send-off party?’ Lorraine says, waggling her eyebrows.
‘I’m sure we can,’ Elizabeth says, and as she laughs she can hear air in it. Light. Happiness, maybe.
‘So is it already on the market?’ Cynthia asks.
‘No, but an agent has approached me saying someone wants to buy.’
‘They always say that,’ Lorraine says with a snort. ‘That’s to get you to list it.’
Elizabeth feels a twinge of disappointment in herself for being so gullible. But even if it turns out to be true, the agent did something for her by forcing her to consider the possibility of leaving. Now the next question she has for herself is whether she leaves the area altogether. Her old life is in Brisbane. Jon’s family is there too, and it could be time for them to see Charlie more, as much as she wishes she didn’t have to deal with them. And if her parents stay put, well, they’re not too far away.
She has options. These haven’t seemed possible – let alone available – to her for a very long time.
‘We’ll see,’ is what she says to Lorraine. ‘And now I’d better get working before Shirl says something.’
‘Oops,’ Lorraine says. ‘Too late.’
Shirl is almost upon them, squinting. ‘What are you talking about?’ she says.
‘Liz is thinking of selling the house,’ Lorraine tells her.
