Page 110 of Weekends with the Sunshine Gardening Society
‘So … ?’
‘I’ll take them, I’ll take them.’
Lorraine feels like patting him on the head as he slouches past her, but she’s sure that would earn her more eye-rolling and she just wants to bask in the glow of her eldest son doing his chores for once. Well, twice. She screws up her eyes as she thinks.Three times. Gawd, that’s the third week in a row he’s taken out the bins. She hesitates to think it’s because he likes being the ‘man of the house’ now Mike isn’t around, but maybe he does.
She and Mike are in negotiations. Rather, she and Mike and her mother are in negotiations. Because Rose came up with a suggestion.
‘Is your marriage over?’ she asked the other day as Lorraine was folding towels.
‘Dunno,’ Lorraine answered.
‘How can you not know?’
‘Because I don’t want it to be over, Mum,’ Lorraine had snapped, although that wasn’t a thought she’d said out loud before that point. Or even admitted to herself, really.
‘I still love him. He’s still the kids’ father,’ she’d gone on, as if she had to explain herself to her mother, the only person alive who loves her without wanting anything from her other than for her to be herself and be happy.
‘I understand that, Lorraine,’ Rose had said patiently. ‘Why do you think I asked instead of presuming?’
‘Well, if you’re going tomake sense…’ Lorraine had smiled weakly. ‘I just need to give it a bit more time, Mum. I’m upset. And I think he needs to pay for that. I just don’t know for how long.’
‘And he doesn’t have anywhere to stay yet, does he?’
‘He’s moving around, I guess. Looks like hell.’
Mike popped up every now and again, looking for a piece of clothing or a tool or to see the kids. Or kid. Simon was usually the only one around. Mainly he visited to try to convince Lorraine to take him back and he probably had no idea how close she was to doing just that. Because it’s hard when you miss the way someone smells and feels and kisses you, even though you know they’ve done something to hurt you. You feel weak wanting them back but you can’t help it. That’s the state she’s been in.
‘I have an idea,’ Rose said – then she suggested that Mike move into her house and she’d stay with Lorraine for a while. The boys were already sharing a room so she could sleep in Simon’s.
Simon thought it was great; Terry was mortified. And he remained that way when Lorraine told him that Rose was going to be with them for a while. Nevertheless, he’s been hanging around the house a little more now he has two grandmas telling him that the sun, moon and stars shine out of him.
Lorraine tries not to watch him as he slides the bins up the driveway. Part of her will always be at the school gate that first day, watching her little boy go off into the world without her and already missing him. Parenthood is odd that way: you’re meant to bring them up so they can be capable and independent, but all you want to do is keep them close and never let anything bad happen to them. Maybe that’s why Terry goes off on his skateboard – because he knows that she wants to keep an eye on him all the time. Or maybe he does it because he wants her to worry about him, because being a kid is odd too.
Lorraine remembers thinking Rose was the worst in the world for wanting to know where she was going and what she was doing, but when her mother stopped asking – sick, no doubt, of Lorraine brushing her off – she missed it. She still misses it. Which is why she loves the idea of Rose staying a while longer. It’s been so nice having her around, and she’s let herself be mothered again while she still tries to wrangle her own two.
‘Thanks, sweetie,’ she says as Terry returns.
‘Anything else I can do?’ he asks and she almost faints from the shock. But she gets herself together because this is an opportunity that may never be repeated.
‘How do you feel about peeling potatoes?’
He grins then it’s gone too quickly. ‘I can probably handle that,’ he mumbles.
‘I’ll just check on your grandmothers and see if they need anything,’ she says.
Mainly she wants to jump up and down with glee because her son isn’t trying to run away from her, and she doesn’t want to do it in front of him.
‘How’re you going?’ she says as she enters the living room and sees them hovered over the coffee table with their cards.
The sight of these two being companions still gives her pause, although her mother explained it to her the other day. ‘We both love the boys,’ she said. ‘It’s pretty simple.’
Why couldn’t you have worked that out years ago, Lorraine wanted to ask, because there’d been plenty of Christmas lunches and kiddie birthdays that were a little uncomfortable. Still, she needs to make herself be glad they’ve sorted it out, especially since they’re under one roof.
‘We’re fine, love,’ Rose says, beaming.
‘I am enjoying this game.’ Cora smiles nervously, almost as if she’s waiting to see how Lorraine reacts.
‘That’s great, Cora,’ she says. ‘I’m just about to get dinner ready. Terry’s helping me.’
