Page 38 of Crossroads of Betrayal
Tears burned hot trails over her cheeks. “I should have been there for Penelope—for the rest of them. I could have gotten to them before good men were killed. Before Penelope was beaten and tortured. I shouldn’t have left Tessa alone. She wouldn’t have died if I would have stayed around that campfire. I let my impulsive nature take over. I never learn.” She wiped her eyes. “You’d think after what happened to my mom I would have known better.”
He leaned further forward, lines creasing his brow. “Your mom? You told me she died when you were a teenager. When you were just a kid. How in the world could that be your fault?”
An image of her mother crumpled on the floor with an empty bottle of pills beside her slammed against her mind’s eye. Tremors shook her body. Sweat coated her palms. Pressure crowded her chest and her breath caught in her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the picture to leave. For the familiar feelings of panic and guilt to finally stop haunting her.
“Hey,” Zeke said, hurrying to sit by her side. “You’re fine. You’re okay. Inhale. Take a deep breath through your nose.”
Closing her mouth, she sucked in as much air as her lungs allowed.
“There you go. Just like that.” He smoothed a hand over the top of her head. “I’m here. Nothing’s going to hurt you.”
Opening her eyes, she clutched his free hand. The truth of her past sat at the tip of her tongue. Whitney and Pen were the only ones who knew what really had happened with her mother. Would Zeke look at her the same? Would he judge her as harshly as she judged herself? And why should she care?
Because she still loved him.
The truth of that statement stole all the air from her lungs, and she pulled away. “Thank you. I’m okay. It’s just been a long couple of days. I think I need to get some real sleep. You should head back to the retreat.”
Disappointment twisted his face. “Are you sure?”
Forcing a tight smile, she nodded.
But she wasn’t sure. Wasn’t sure she should send him away. Wasn’t sure she shouldn’t just bust down all her walls and tell him everything. And worst of all, she wasn’t sure that she’d ever be good enough for Zeke—the kind of woman who could love him the way he truly deserved to be loved.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
Bursts of orange and red foliage surrounded Zeke as he drove down the mountain and navigated his truck through the streets of downtown Pine Valley. The morning sun trickled onto the small-town square, illuminating the white gazebo nestled in the center of a patch of grass. He’d passed through the quaint streets on his way to the retreat the first day he arrived, as well as the previous night when he’d left Grace, but he hadn’t investigated the area.
That would change today. He’d peeled himself away from Grace the night before. She’d been so close to finally confiding in him, but something held her back. He’d driven away with a heavy heart and new resolution. His anger and bitterness had melted away. Grace was suffering, and he was determined to do whatever he could to help her.
Starting with finding a place to buy her weakness. Fresh doughnuts.
He’d stop hounding her with questions and demanding answers for past decisions and do what Penelope had recommended to begin with. He’d show up and be her friend. Forcing anything wouldn’t do either of them any good. Besides, the hurt he carried with him centered around Grace. Maybe the key to letting go of everything weighing him down since she’d left him was at least knowing she could find some semblance of peace.
Parking in a diagonal spot along the square, he hopped out of his truck and buried his hands in his pockets. Wind whipped along the sidewalk, making him wish he’d thrown on a jacket. A door opened and the scent of coffee and cinnamon spurred him forward. He passed a window etched with pretty gold letters. Crawley’s Confections. Perfect.
A little bell announced his arrival as he stepped inside. He inhaled the scents of freshly baked bread and vanilla icing. A smattering of four-person square tables filled the room and a glass display counter on the far wall was filled with pastries on cake stands and trays of doughnuts. He’d have a hard time keeping his selection to a minimum.
“Hey. Zeke.”
He turned to the corner where Tucker sat with a pretty blond woman and a child with pigtails and powdered sugar smeared across her face. A beat of hesitation slowed his acknowledging smile. The last time he’d seen Tucker, a dead woman’s ID had been found in his bag.
The little girl waved as if Zeke were a long-lost friend.
Grinning, he lifted a palm in return.
Tucker stood and ruffled the top of the girl’s head then met him at the back of the long line. “How you holdin’ up?”
He lifted a shoulder. “All right I guess.”
“And Grace? Everyone’s scared to death after what happened to her. Pissed too.”
“She was in pain last night, but not too bad. She’s tough.” The line moved and he took a step forward. He didn’t want to divulge more about Grace. She was so damn private nowadays. Saying more than she’d like could upset her.
“You planning on grabbing Ruby today? I’m just eating a quick breakfast with my family before my daughter heads to school, but I’ll be around later if you want to grab her.”
He wasn’t sure if he’d take the dog today. As much as he enjoyed her company, yesterday had been full on interruptions. He’d spent more time packing her stuff and returning her to the kennel than hanging out with her. While he debated, he peered around Tucker toward the little pixie stuffing food in her mouth. “School? She doesn’t look old enough.”
Tucker beamed. “Kindergarten. She’s smart as a whip, and too bossy for her own good.”
