Page 131 of Before You Can Blink
The symphony created by the machines in the room filled the silence.
The drip of the IV.
The soft whooshing of the ventilator.
The rhythmic beeping of the heart rate monitor.
Heart twisting painfully, I stepped forward. Grazing a finger over her hand, I sucked in a sharp breath at how cold her skin felt.
Pulling in a deep breath, I began to say goodbye.
“I know I wasn’t the perfect son, and I suppose now is as good a time as any to apologize for that. I’m sorry for giving you a hard time when, more often than not, you were only saying what other folks were too scared to. Your colorful commentary might’ve been over-the-top, but that’s who you are. You lived your life out loud because that’s the only way you knew how. And God, Ma, you were always right.
“You knew Daisy was the one for me when I was too blind to see it for myself. You knew that my children would become my greatest accomplishment, even when I was adamant that I would never have any. You knew Tripp and Penny were destined to create a beautiful life together, just like you knew Aspen needed someone like Mac to make her laugh and be her constant source of support, so she could chase her dreams.
“When you’re gone, people will say you lived a full life surrounded by a family who loved you. And while they’ll be right on both counts, I’ll always be wishing there had been more. One more hug, one more sarcastic remark, one more chance to see that sparkle you get in your eyes when you get to visit with your great-grandbabies. They all adore you, Ma, but don’t you worry, I’ll make sure to explain to them you’re with their Pawpaw now. And that you’re probably the happiest you’ve ever been to be reunited with him.”
I took her cold hand in mine. “I love you, Ma. Tell Pop I’m sorry for not taking out the trash when you see him.”
The minute those final words cleared my mouth, the line on the monitor went flat, and there was a long, drawn-out beep.
She was gone.
I stared straight ahead, unblinking, during the funeral service.
While my body was physically seated in the front pew, my soul watched on from above, almost as if it had been ripped out at my mother’s passing.
Mac gave the eulogy, providing a mix of lighthearted humor and compassion as he recounted the impact Ma had on not only him and our family, but the community.
Aspen and Tripp stood up to share a few words and to express their gratitude to those who had offered their love and support during this difficult time.
Through it all, Daisy kept her hand in mine, silently offering me all the strength she had left to give.
When we moved to the graveyard and watched as the casket was lowered into the ground, I couldn’t help but wonder . . .
Would I be burying my wife next?
Chapter 32
Jett
Age 66
March
“Pickingupanorderfor Sullivan,” I told the teenage girl—one of the late Doc Stevens’ great-granddaughters, though I couldn’t recall her first name at the moment—at the hostess stand inside the Range.
“Sure thing, Mr. Sullivan.” She gave me a polite smile before heading to the kitchen to retrieve our dinner.
As I looked around this space, my chest hollowed out at the realization that this was no longer my ma’s place but mine, her share in the ownership having transferred to me after her passing.
Even a year later, it still hadn’t completely sunk in that she was gone. I half expected her to emerge through the door leading to the office, a snarky comment on the tip of her tongue, along with a reminder to still tip the staff even though I wasn’t sitting down for my meal.
When that very door began to open, I held my breath, only to have it rush past my lips on a surprised exhale. Instead of the silver-haired matriarch of the Sullivan clan, it was her protégé.
“Grampa!” Reagan cried, rushing forward to throw her arms around my middle.
My heart swelled. “Hey, beautiful girl. What are you doing here?”
