Page 107 of More, Daddy
“To hurt me.” I think that’s obvious.
Dolly nods fervently. “On the surface, it looks that way. And I know he thinks that’s why he did it. To hurt you back. But what if,” she says, now tapping a manicured finger to her bottom lip. “What if he panicked at the way he was handling everything, at his reaction to realizing it was you who he was in love with, at the fact that he was finally getting a womanwho was into the stuff he was into and, in a moment of confusion and panic, made the choice to stop giving you birth control in an attempt to keep you.”
I blink, because I cannot wrap my head around what she’s saying.
“Okay, maybe he was just massively overwhelmed by everything and knew that he wanted you forever, but because of the lie and everything with his ex and the fact that you were younger and worked at the school… All of it drove him to panicking and making an extreme choice. But ultimately, in either scenario, that choice was made from a place of love. Of wanting to have you in his life forever and wanting the two of you tied together forever.” Her eyes search mine. “The choice to have a child with someone comes from love, Briar. And I’m not at all defending him, because he should not have done what he did. But should I have broken into Hudson’s house and licked his lip marks off his coffee mug? Should I have stolen his family photos for my wall of Hudson? Should you have stolen two laptops?”
I catch my forehead in my hands as it falls, and Dolly continues.
“We all make bad choices for love sometimes. And while his was a life changing choice, he did it because he was in love with you then and scared to lose you, and he’s in love with you now, and even more scared to lose you.”
I lift my head in time to see Dolly shrug, giving me a sad, partial smile. “It’s up to you how you handle this, obviously. But I can tell you this much: if the man I loved had wanted to put his baby in me so badly that he did what West did, I’d be flattered. Angry, sure, and I’d make him pay for that somehow,” she dances her brows, and lord only knows how a woman like Dolly punishes her husband. “But he’s confused when he says he did it to make you feel what he felt. Hedidn’t want to hurt you, I don’t think. I think he was scared his anger and big feelings would push you away. Getting you pregnant was a way to make you stay.”
“That’s so backward,” I say, shaking my head. We sit in silence, the fire quietly popping, warming our feet. I think about Dolly’s take and it makes sense. West has struggled with articulating what he wants after what happened with his ex-wife. Telling me he cares about me but was hurt and needed time to deal with what I did wasn’t even in his mind. “But I see where you’re coming from. And to be honest, when the shock died down, I really never thought he meant to hurt me, even though that’s why he said he did it.”
Dolly nods. “Divorce is hard, and from what I understand, West didn’t really ever handle the healing process. He just… never talked about it and considered himself over it, I guess. It makes sense that a bump in the road would spin him out.”
I chew the inside of my cheek. “I feel like I overreacted.”
She shakes her head. “You did not. Finding out that your man has been trying to knock you up without you knowing would rock anyone off their axis.” She picks at her nail a moment then looks at me. “Hey wait, the test that caught your eye at the store, you said you told him to pay for it. Do you have it?”
I nod my head.
“Do you think you’re…” Dolly starts, and just the mention of it has butterflies spreading their wings in my belly, my heart racing.
I shrug, then pull my purse off the ground, into my lap, and retrieve the box.
Dolly looks at the box, then at me. “Maybe find out, then go talk to West.” She looks into the fire then back at me, her expression tender. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”
I wipe at the lingering tears that leave my cheeks wet, andstare down at the box. The box that is normally bought under the happiest of circumstances, in the most exciting of times. Most of the time. I’m in one of those weird, outlier times where I am unhappily holding this box. And then it hits me.
“I think I want to take it with West. And find out… at the same time.”
She smiles. “So you want to work it out with him?”
I nod. “You’re right. I did some unforgivable things that he forgave me for. And what you said about him actually wanting me to be pregnant because he wants to be together forever, I believe that. I’ve always had faith in West and his love for me. I still do.”
The front door opens, and little kids come sprinting in. Hudson’s voice drifts through the room. “Not Mama’s belly, remember, okay kids?”
“Thanks for the ride.And tell Dolly thank you again. She’s really such a good friend… and I definitely forced friendship on her today,” I tell Hudson, smiling as he tips his hat at me from across the cab.
“No problem. And it was great meeting you this afternoon.” His smile is warm and genuine. “I’m happy to see West happy. Dolly and I were starting to think we’d have to build an apartment over the barn. Let him grow old here, with us.” Another warm smile. “I’m kidding. But… whatever had you upset this afternoon, I hope you’re okay. West, too.”
I smile. “Thank you.”
Hudson stays parked out front until I go inside and once I’m inside, I keep my eye on the peephole and watch til his truck is out of sight.
“Didn’t think you were coming back,” my dad says, themetallic clink of the recliner closing sending a shiver down my back. I turn and see him getting to his feet, wearing his filthy jeans and work shirt. His hair is more gray than I remember, but I haven’t seen him for over a month now, going on two.
“Where the hell have you been?” I ask. Before I left for West’s, dad had promised to be home in a day–returning the car–and that was the last time I saw him.
“I could say the same for you.” He limps toward me, slamming an empty beer bottle on the kitchen counter. “Where’s all your stuff?”
He went into my room. That means he did more than sit in that chair and wonder. He actually got up. To be honest, I’m surprised he even realized I wasn’t home.
“And the water company keeps calling. You haven’t paid the bill.”
Ahh. The real reason he’s at all concerned about my whereabouts. My income.
