The fact that her answer could be no, and that I’d have no right to anger if that was her response… makes me preemptively and irrationally mad. Just because no one else is flooding my DMs with pink panty pictures or dirty talk doesn’t mean that her DMs are the same.
She’s the female. That automatically makes her the prey on sites like this. And the kink we’re into? It bears judgement. And loads of it.
So the idea that she’d not been hit with a battery of DMs fromhorny daddies?—
She replies, short circuiting my brain, cutting my thoughts clean in half.Good, because my thoughts were leading me to a very ragey place.
DaddysGirl
You’re the only one I’m talking to period
Like I said before, I gave up on those other apps
I gave up on in person dating because that never felt right
You, Suede, are the only man in my life
I try my hardest to make my fingers move, to type something witty, to come back with banter that leaves her breathless and eager. But I can’t stop rereading that last line,because each time I read it, a new rush of excitement roars through my veins.
I havea thingwith someone.
It’s online. I don’t know her.
But still. It’s been so long since I’ve hada thing.
I lick my lips, and force my fingers to do the hard work that I’ve been somewhat avoiding until now.
Suede0989
Did you find me because of my checked interests?
If you like the same thing that I like, why has it not come up in banter? Sure, she could’ve been trying to do the same thing that I was trying to do—get lost in something innocuous and trivial until, as Dean says, the real thing falls into my lap. Maybe we were both just living and enjoying ourselves.
Maybe.
But what if this insane connection we have transcends emotion and friendship, and bleeds into the darkness of my desires? And what if I find her there, in my darkness, greedily scooping up our sin with both hands, drinking, eyes on me, our future laid out before us.
What if she is the perfect fit for me in all ways?
This is quite possibly the closest I’ve ever come.
DaddysGirl
You only have one checked interest
Her acute perception makes my spine hot.
Suede0989
That’s true
Her dots don’t dance, and neither do mine. And I wonderif we’re in a show down, one where I’m waiting for her to dump her proverbial purse out on the table, and she’s waiting for me to empty my pockets.
She saw my interest. I know she did. She’s just admitted as much.
Bringing it up won’t kill things between you two, you fucking baby. Quit dragging it out. Man up, lock in, do it already.
With my internal bully buzzing in the back of my brain, I roll the tension from my neck and start typing. My body is alight as if I’d had that first sip of caffeine, but I haven’t, not yet.