Page 105 of More, Daddy
“I know it was wrong and I’m so sorry,” he continues, saying everything without saying a single fucking thing. “I should have focused on understanding you instead of hurting you. I’ve been an asshole, Briar. I am an asshole and I’m fucking so sorry.”
“West,” I breathe, nostrils flaring.
He blinks. He swallows. He looks at his boots, then back at me. “I replaced your birth control with sugar pills.” He licks his lips. “We’ve been having unprotected sex for the last four and half weeks.”
He reaches for me, but I step back reactively, knocking more things off the shelf.
“Listen, sweetheart,” he starts, “babygirl, I was gonna tell you tonight. And I know that seems mighty convenient now, but I promise I was going to tell you. That nap you took the other day,” he says, but my brain has officially turned off to West Dupont.
I do want a baby with him. I wantlotsof babies with him.
But I do not want to be fucking tricked into it.
I look around, stomping back down the aisle when I spot the pink box that started all of this. Had we not gone downthis aisle would he have told me? Or would I have just found myself like the Virgin Mary? Seriously?
I hold the box up. “Pay for this.”
He nods, swiping at the sweat beneath the band of his cowboy hat. “I will, of course I will.”
He reaches for me, but I jerk my arm away, my entire body really. “Don’t touch me, West.” I back away from him, my mind a flurry of thoughts, my pulse zipping, my head light and woozy. “Do not touch me. You wanted to betray me? You got what you wanted. And you know what? I wouldneverbetray you. This is so much worse than what I did. I did what I didbecause I love you, West! Not because I want you to hurt!”
“Youwanta baby!” he shouts suddenly, pulling at his hair like his body doesn't agree with the words coming out of his mouth.
“Yeah, West, I do want a baby. That’s true. I told you that first onVeiled. But do you think this is how every little girl dreams of being knocked up? With her jealous, vindictive, possessive boyfriend tricking them into it?”
“Jealous? Vindictive?” he balks.
“You made me stop being friends with Austin, and not just that, I had to call him while you were fucking me!” I shout, and just then, a clerk comes around the corner with a red floor mop. Her eyes meet mine, then go to West’s, who she glares at immediately.
Exactly.
“I’m leaving,” I tell West. “Pay for the test.”
“You can’t leave,” he tries. “We live together. I drove us.” He tries to follow me but I threaten him.
“Do not follow me, West. I’m serious.” I shake my head, and somehow find the words. “All I’ve wanted for the last nearly two years was to be with you, to love and understandyou and have that in return. And it feels like all you want to do is hurt me. Make me wait to meet your friends, make me pay for what I did, make me stop seeing my friends…” I trail off, scrubbing my fist over my eye, exhausted. “Just… go home. I’ll call you later.”
“Baby,” he starts, but I walk away, and I’m grateful that he doesn’t follow me. Because I do not have the energy.
Outside, next to the soda machine and DVD rental box, I pull my phone out and search for a number on Google. Dialing, I’m nervous that we’re not close enough for me to make this call, but the truth is? I need someone.
She answers on the first ring. “Hello?”
“It’s Briar. Can you come get me?”
CHAPTER
THIRTY
“Anything else?”Hudson asks as he sets mugs of hot cocoa on the table.
Dolly smiles, wiggling her fingers from her curled up spot on the couch. Hudson knows what wiggly fingers mean, and goes to her, dipping down to allow her to fill her hands with his face. She kisses his lips, the tip of his nose, his cheeks and forehead, when he finally, quietly, says, “Alright, sweetheart. Your friend is here.”
“Thank you for the cocoa, Huddy.” She smiles, her cheeks pink, eyes shining. Looking at Dolly, I realize that she is what true happiness looks like.Hudson, too.
If someone had seen us in the Eat O Rama earlier, they wouldn’t think “happy couple.” They’d think we’re fucking dysfunctional, and one argument away from headlining an episode of Maury.
It makes me ashamed.
