Page 75 of Nothing to Beat

“Is no coincidence.Your father’s looming large in our lives again and you start breaking his rules.”

What was he…?“No pizza,” she whispered.

“No junk food.Wasn’t Joey allowed to eat and drink anything he wanted?His girls weren’t allowed to make poor food choices, to gain weight, to be ‘sloppy’ as he called it.”Maybe she shouldn’t have been so open with Breck through the years.“Some part of your subconscious wants to remind you that you’re an adult, disconnected from that previous life, capable of making your own decisions.”

A few seconds of reflection stretched.It took her mind a while to catch up with his words.

“Decisions you don’t accept.I am making my own decisions; they’re just not the ones you want me to make.”

“You want a child.Isn’t having a baby your decision?I want to make that happen.We agree on—”

“We agreed before you went around telling everyone.Now I’m not sure it can ever happen.”

Because even if she went to a sperm bank, no one would ever believe any of her offspring weren’t Breck’s.And her promise to him… it wasn’t even about her promise, her biology rebelled against the idea of carrying another man’s child.The idea physically sickened her.Which was crazy because not all the Breckenridges were blood.

Having Breck’s child was an exciting notion.It thrilled her.A zing of desperate excitement shot through her every time the idea seeded itself.There was a future she wanted, he was right.Except aspiring to something didn’t change the circumstances.

“I won’t leave you wanting.”

No, he never did.Why couldn’t he see she valued him just the same?

“You deserve so much happiness.This life—what I put you through.It’s unfair.Can’t you see how much simpler your life would be if you just… let go…”

“All these years…” His hand fell to his side as the corner of his mouth curled.“It’s never occurred to me once.”

The back of his fingers drifted across her cheek and she moistened her lips in anticipation of his.Had she ever convinced herself she wasn’t his wholly and completely?Where was the line now?

The sudden blare of the phone by the bed startled them both; he hid it better.Leaving her there without his kiss, frustrated, and a little petulant, he went to answer it.

TWENTY-SIX

SHOWER.YES.That’s where she’d been headed.Breck would deal with whoever was on the phone and didn’t need supervision.She slipped into the bathroom before he could finish the call.If she delayed to satisfy her curiosity about the identity of the interrupter, they’d only get sucked into another discussion and, as she’d said, time was running short.

The routine of washing and preparing herself for the day gave a focus.Any time she considered what Ackley may say, what he’d found out, what he wanted from her to continue on, she redoubled her effort to exfoliate or moisturize or whatever else she was doing.Dwelling wouldn’t change the outcome.

Drying her hair was a quick affair.She went with just a little makeup, enough that the effort would be noticed, not far enough that it looked like impressing anyone was on her agenda.At least with Breck at her side, she wouldn’t have to contend with any leering.Ackley wasn’t the overt sort, as such, he just carried an air most women would recognize as creepy.Breck wouldn’t stand for it if any man tried anything with her, and it wasn’t jealousy, he hated the disrespect.All Breckenridges were big on that.

Clothes took a little longer than usual.The closet was full and nothing was hers.Each time she settled on something, another something would catch her eye.Nothing wrong with researching the options.

Though, shit, time, time, time.Finishing up, she hurried through to the living room expecting Breck, Roxie, maybe even Tripp.She didn’t expect to see Breck enjoying coffee with Alice and Carolyn.

“Good morning,” Alice said, bright and beautiful, as always.

“Is it still morning?”she asked and went to bend down to pour coffee into one of the clean cups.“Roxie and Tripp are still asleep.”

“I told them that,” Breck said.“And that we have an appointment downstairs.”

She straightened up.“You changed it?”

“The man we’re meeting did,” he said.“I’m not sure of the specific developments.”

Something must’ve changed for Ackley to avoid his office.What would it be…?There was that speculation again, and she had no soaps or shampoos to distract her.

“All very cloak and dagger,” Carolyn said.

“Not really,” she said, though that wasn’t far off.“It’s just…complicated, and really not that interesting.”

Yes, she could feel Breck mentally poking her.Okay, so it may impact whether one of the present parties became a grandparent, but was that necessary to talk about now?

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