Page 48 of Love Overboard
But she’d be older than Emily before she’d admit how the romantic declaration affected her.
Lacey steeled herself against the sentiment. “What makes you think that?”
“Because I’m one of those people too.” Emily’s eyes wandered, looking into a distant past. “I dated a surplus of boys—first, in high school. Then college. The navy kept a fresh crop of fun-loving sailors floating through town. We went to parties and dances and movies. I was quite the belle of the ball.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Lacey imagined a young, vivacious Emily holding court over a besotted group of admirers.
“Dressing up for a date gave me butterflies in my tummy, but the butterflies never reached my heart. Not until I met my husband. Bill walked into church one Sunday morning in his dress whites, cap in hand. I was sitting in the choir loft, so I had a good view. One glance, and that was it.”
“Did he feel the same way?”
“He asked me to marry him two weeks later.”
A jumble of emotions flitted across the older woman’s face. Pride. Happiness. A tinge of sorrow. Nostalgia softened the lines around her mouth and hinted at the girl she used to be.
Lacey hoped her own life would boast such sweet memories one day.
But how can it if you never allow yourself to love?A voice whispered inside of her with a salient but disagreeable point. She tried to ignore it by focusing on Emily.
“How long before you said yes to your eager suitor?”
“A year.”
“What?” Her eyebrows snapped together. “I thought you said he was the one.”
“He was.” Emily’s gaze sharpened on Lacey. “I knew it, and he knew it. But the reality of marrying him scared me. Living in a navy town, I knew what it meant committing to life as a military wife—always shuffling around every few years, planting roots in a new place, then having them ripped up at the government’s whim. I wanted stability and routine.”
Stability.
Routine.
Two of Lacey’s favorite words.
“What changed your mind?”
It wasn’t a casual question. She truly wanted to know.Neededto know. How did a person develop the courage to trade the familiar for the uncertain?
“Bill got orders for a two-year stint in Japan and gave me an ultimatum. Either I went with him as his wife, or it was the end. Life without him sounded worse than any instability imaginable. So I put my faith in God and took the leap.” Emily placed her hands together and mimed diving into the water.
Lacey envied the woman who’d already jumped into the scary ocean of love and lived to tell about it. “Did you sink or swim?”
“The Lord has a sense of humor. I grew to love our many adventures around the world. Bill and I saw places other people only read about in books. He was my somebody.” Emily smacked the railing. “And Jon is yours. Running doesn’t work, Lacey. You have to accept the truth.”
“The truth?” Lacey wrapped her arms around herself. “The truth is, I don’t want to entrust my life to somebody … anybody. I’d rather keep control, even if it means being alone.”
“But you said you’re dating Ricardo. Does that still count asalone?”
She broke eye contact and polished the gold buttons of her uniform jacket with her sleeve.
Emily bent her body until her eyes met Lacey’s. “Besides, the one you should really turn control over to isn’t Jon. It’s the Good Lord up there.” She pointed to the sky. “Do you ever pray about the things that bother you?”
“Of course I do.” Lacey straightened. “But I just … I get busy.”
“Talking to God is never a waste of time. Why don’t you ask him what he thinks of Ricardo?” Emily placed a cashmere-soft palm on Lacey’s cheek. “I’m not sure what locked you up inside, dear. But don’t waste your time on a man with no key.” She walked back inside, leaving Lacey with her thoughts and the wind. It tore her hair from its carefully styled bun and lashed her cheeks with the flyaway strands.
It was true.
Dating Ricardo was the same thing as being alone.
