Page 75 of Not the Bodyguard's Widow
“No, I’m going to take a nap.” At his nod, Kimberly waddled as fast as she could to her room. For the first time since California, they were alone in the house.
Kimberly lay down with her tumultuous thoughts. Was letting Alex into her life the right thing to do?
* * *
Alex set his phone down. It had only taken the men who’d tailed them a day to give up watching his parents’ house. Sunday afternoon, they’d simply started the car and driven off. Two days later, the car had turned up abandoned in a grocery-store parking lot.
Hastings assigned two new bodyguards to Indiana, but both were to watch from a distance. The less traffic around Art House, the better.
It was quiet. Too quiet. Other than to discuss the baby or what to eat, Kimberly hadn’t spoken for two days. Alex went to search for her and, predictably, found her in the loft.
She was crying.
“What’s wrong?”
Kimberly shook her head. “Everything. Nothing. Not the baby.”
“Do you want to talk?” Alex sat in the beanbag next to hers.
“Want to know something funny?”
“Sure.”
“Everyone thinks I named this Lover’s Loft because I made out with so many guys up here. I didn’t. Not once. I had a couple of first kisses and slapped one guy, but I never—well, not like Candace thought. It was the stars. I named it for the stars.”
Alex settled into his beanbag and rolled onto his side. “Is there a constellation or something?”
“Not that I know of. I’d seen some movie about lovers remembering each other in the stars, and it just sounded right.”
Alex leaned close enough to kiss Kimberly if she turned her head his direction. “We could solve the making-out part.”
Kimberly put her hand on his chest and pushed him away.
“No, we can’t. I wish we could. I really do. I want to cuddle with you every night, but it wouldn’t be fair to you. I lied to Jeremy for years when I told him I loved him. I can’t do that to you. I wish I could, but you bring out the part of me that needs to be as honest and decent as you are. I need your protection. I want the love you give me, but as deeply as I have searched my heart, I don’t feel what I need to. Maybe I’m broken. Maybe it’s pregnancy. I don’t know.” Kimberly took a deep breath as tears wound their way down her cheeks. “But it isn’t fair to keep using you for my comfort.”
Was she trying to break up with him? “Swee—Kimberly, I don’t feel used, and I know this has got to be the most emotionally confusing time in the world for you. I’m willing to wait it out. If me holding you brings you comfort or peace, why stop?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to believe in a lie that is not me. I don’t want you to love me if I can’t love you back.”
Too late.Alex found her hand. “I’m a big boy. Let me worry about my heart. If I’m willing to love you and hold you knowing you might leave, that is my problem, not yours.”
“I do sleep better when you are near. That’s the part where I feel I am using you the most.”
Alex reached out and wiped away a tear. “Thank you for being honest. What do you want to do now?”
“Look at the stars.”
Alex rolled onto his back and wished for a falling star.
28
Kimberly markedanother day off the calendar. Thirty-seven weeks. Mrs. Capps would be over later today, and in four days, they could go open the PO box. With any luck, they would solve everything before the baby came.
Except for what to do about Alex.
Her honesty wasn’t working out so well. He was more attentive than ever, and she was more confused. Kimberly escaped to the loft with a book. Perhaps getting lost in someone else’s imagination would help.
Elle came up the stairs. “Mrs. Capps called. She needs to reschedule because her daughter is sick and someone is in labor.”
