Page 55 of His Fresh Start Cowboy
“Yeah.”
“Well, we knew we’d be leaving soon,” Hugo said once the conversation was over. “We should probably air out the tent, huh?”
Brand laughed and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Good idea. They’ll bring fresh sleeping bags, but I don’t want to leave jizz stains on the tent walls if I can help it.”
Even though their bit of paradise was about to disappear, they both found intense amusement in cleaning up their campsite before the new residents arrived. Brand had kept all their condom and lube trash carefully tucked into a re-sealable plastic baggie, so that was easy enough to tuck into his backpack. Hugo used a wet wipe to clean a spot on the side of the tent, not ashamed of these small bits of evidence of what he and Brand had done. But it was private.
Very private, since he and Brand hadn’t talked about what—if anything—to tell people once they got home. Hugo didn’t want to out Brand before he was ready, and fucking the boss wasn’t exactly a great look for Hugo either, but he also didn’t want them to go back to what they’d been before once they arrived back at the house and barn.
Hugo didn’t know how he’d keep from reaching for Brand every time he saw the man. Hewouldrefrain, because Hugo was a fucking professional, but yeah, it would be hard. Really hard.
After lunch, Brand mounted his horse and did a quick perimeter check of the herd and surrounding pastureland while Hugo packed the last of their trash and personal items. Everything except the tent and cooking equipment, which Mercutio would bring back when Alan and Rem came home in a few more days.
For less than forty-eight hours, life out here on the plains had been some kind of dream for Hugo. A wonderful dream of freedom, open skies, and amazing sex with a man he was falling hard for—but Hugo wasn’t always sure Brand was falling, too. Brand offered sweet kisses and nudges, and even a few random hugs, but some part of Hugo still hesitated. Probably the part that knew Brand had a huge decision to make—not only about Brand’s own future at the ranch, but also his ability to openly embrace his relationship with Hugo.
Such as it was right now, but Hugo prayed it would become more. Brand made his body sing in ways no one else ever had, and without hearing the words, Hugo suspected Brand felt the same way about him. He saw it in the tender smiles and gentle touches. But Brand still had a lot of personal work to do.
Brand returned from his herd check around the same time that Rem and Alan arrived on their horses with fresh supplies and sleeping bags (thank God). Rem complained about the lack of fresh firewood to keep their campfire going, and Brand teased him about being lazy and to go gather his own. Neither Rem nor Alan seemed to notice anything different between Brand and Hugo, so after a brief chat about the herd, they mounted and headed out. Brutus followed them for a good ten yards before Brand ordered him back to Rem.
Hugo knew leaving Brutus out here would be hard for Brand, but it was safer for both the cowboys and the herd to have a capable dog around for the next few days.
The ride back was not comfortable for Hugo at all, but how could he complain? They rode at an easy canter, faster than with the herd but in no huge rush to get back so no need to push the horses at a gallop. About halfway back, Brand blurted out, “I’m not ready to be open about this. Us.”
“I know.” Hugo slowed to a walk so they could talk more easily and Brand did the same. “I didn’t expect you to be, considering how new all this is for you. I don’t like lying but I don’t want to pressure you.”
“Thank you. I don’t like lying either, but right now this thing with us is private. Nobody’s business. Also? We gotta go back to completely professional at work.”
“Of course. I’m not gonna maul you in front of your dad, I promise. Even though I’ll want to every time I see you.”
“Trust me, the feeling’s mutual. You make me lose my mind in all kinds of new ways, Hugo Turner. I just...”
He was quiet for so long as their horses continued plodding along that Hugo took a chance on filling in the unspoken words. “You just need time to make sure this thing between us will last before you risk imploding things with your parents?”
Brand ducked his head, hat brim hiding his face, and nodded.
“I get that,” Hugo continued. “I do. And I’m not offended by it. I’m not exactly out here, either. Shit, I never even came out at Clean Slate, and at least half the hands there were queer, especially my closest friends. I just... I don’t know. I could be me there, whoever that person was. Gay, straight, or other, I was just Hugo.”
“You were lucky to have that.”
“I believe you could have that, too. Here. You just gotta believe in yourself and in what you truly want.”Even if it’s not me.Losing Brand, after having him even for a short time, would hurt like hell, but Hugo would survive. If he got more invested in Brand, then Brand dragged his heels and dumped him after Hugo had fully given away his heart?
Hugo wasn’t sure he could heal from that if he stayed in Weston.
No negative thoughts, not when everything between them was still so new—even if it had been simmering for weeks.
“I’ll do my best,” Brand said, offering him a crooked smile.
“That’s all any of us can do. Everything else will sort itself out.”
“Hope so.”
They sped up a bit, and soon the barn rose up on the distant horizon. Wayne was tending to the heifers and calves, and he helped them un-tack and brush down their horses. Put their spare equipment away. Brand said he’d take both sleeping bags up to the house for laundering, and Hugo hid a smirk.
“You did good work, son,” Wayne said to Hugo. “I appreciate the extra time you put in this week with the overnight.”
“It wasn’t a problem, sir,” Hugo replied. “I love camping, and the herd seemed to enjoy having a new patch of land to explore.”
“Good man. I expect you kept Brand grounded, then? He’s never been fond of camping way out in the pastures, far from the house, so I was impressed he volunteered for the job.”
