Page 35 of His Fresh Start Cowboy
A long, silent moment passes between them before Brand smiles. “Supposed to be a full moon tonight. Wanna sit up in the hayloft with me and watch it rise? We always get a great view from up there.”
“Yes.” Fuck yes, Hugo wants to sit in the hayloft with Brand. “That sounds great.”
He loves the big barn’s hayloft, which is only half filled with bales of hay. The big doors open to a beautiful view of the ranch and its sprawling lands to the southeast. It’s a few minutes past dusk, and the moon has started to rise in the starry night sky. Hugo sits on the edge of the loft, feet dangling down, no fear of heights or accidentally falling to the hard ground below. No fear of Brand doing a single thing to hurt him, because Brand is a genuinely kind person. He’s nothing like Buck.
Brand fiddles with a board nearby, and when he sits next to Hugo, he has a sealed sandwich bag in his hand. Hugo isn’t sure what’s in it until Brand produces a lighter and a joint. “I don’t wanna be accused of contributing to the delinquency of a minor,” Brand says, “but you want a hit?”
Hugo has never smoked pot in his life but he isn’t about to chicken out in front of his crush. “I’m only a minor for a few more months.”
“That’s age of consent for Texas. Technically, you’re a minor until you turn eighteen.”
“And technically, this is illegal no matter what, so sure. I’ll try it.”
Brand studies him a moment, then pops the joint into his mouth and lights up. Inhales and holds the smoke for longer than Hugo expects, before exhaling slowly. He passes the joint over to Hugo. The acrid smell doesn’t appeal at all, but he inhales anyway. And promptly starts coughing, unused to smoking anything, much less weed.
“That’s kind of gross,” Hugo says as he gives the joint back to Brand.
“Not everyone likes it. I usually only take a few drags and put it out. Just enough to relax me after a stressful day.”
That piques Hugo’s interest. “Today was stressful?”
“A little, and not because of you or Rem, specifically.” He takes another drag, holds, releases. “It’s just we were so far from home, at a big truck stop with hundreds of other cars and people, and I guess... I don’t know.”
“Hey, dude.” He nudges Brand’s shoulder with his own. “You can talk to me. I won’t spread your shit around, swear to God.”
Brand stares at the smoldering end of the joint a beat. “Ever since Colt disappeared, I’ve been protective of my other siblings. I’m the oldest now. I didn’t like Rem wandering around in that place full of strangers, but he had you with him. I knew you’d protect my little brother.”
“I would. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had, Brand. He’s older but he listens to me. Just listens and doesn’t try to fix things. Especially the shit that can’t be fixed.”
“Shit like what?”
Hugo looks out at the stars and the bright moon shining her silver light down on them. “All kinds of shit. You’re lucky to have him as a brother, and he’s lucky to have you.” The bond between the Woods siblings is clear as day to anyone who looks, especially Hugo. And Brand’s words tonight only enforce that bond. Meanwhile, Hugo’s own stepbrother doesn’t give two shits about his welfare. Never has, never will.
He takes the joint and tries a second hit. Coughs less this time but still doesn’t see the appeal, so he gives it back to Brand. Brand takes another drag, then licks his fingers and pinches it out. Above them, the moon glimmers a bit more brightly, and Hugo wonders if the smoke is finally going to his head. Doing something. Making the world lighter, bigger than ever before.
“You ever want to turn into a bird and just fly away?” Hugo asks. His mouth is running away with him but he doesn’t care. Not in this moment. “Find something totally new?”
“Sometimes. I guess that’s a little bit what college was about. Getting away for a while, doing something different. Always knew I’d be back, though.”
“If I go, I don’t think I wanna come back.” Hugo uses the side of the door to stand and stares out over the vast property. At the ground that seems much farther away than before. Maybe he can fly out of this hayloft and into a new life where his stepbrother doesn’t beat on him, his mother actually loves him, and he isn’t as attracted as he is to Brand. Where Hugo isn’t gay and can lead a safe, normal life.
As if.
But maybe. He inches closer to the edge of the hayloft door. A warm breeze tickles his face and ruffles his hair. He closes his eyes. All he has to do is step forward. To fall into the wind and let it carry him away to a better place than this. To a—
“What the fuck, dude?” A heavy body slams Hugo to the wood floor, flat on his back, and Hugo’s eyes fly open. Brand looms over him, face creased with worry, wavy hair falling down over his forehead and cheeks. “What was that?”
“Huh?” Hugo doesn’t understand anything other than the solid male body above him, pinning him down in a way that doesn’t scare him in the least. Because it’s Brand. His Brand.
“For a second, you looked like you were gonna jump.”
“Thought about it.”
The wounded look on Brand’s face makes Hugo want to weep but he doesn’t. He inhales Brand’s light aftershave and studies the way the dim light glints off his coffee-brown eyes. Eyes that seem to really see him for the first time. Brand doesn’t move away, doesn’t get off Hugo. He simply looms there, a calming presence Hugo wants more of. Wants for always. “Why would you jump?” Brand asks. “Your home life can’t be that bad. Is it?”
“It’s not just what happens at home.” Maybe the weed he smoked has loosened Hugo’s tongue but he can’t turn off his honesty button. “It’s who I am. I don’t wanna be me anymore but I don’t know how to be anyone else.”
“There’s nothin’ wrong with you. You’re a great kid.”
