Page 71 of His Fresh Start Cowboy
“Fuck that.” He allowed his anger and hurt to wash over him and power his words. “I get this is complicated for you, but it’s fucking complicated for me, too. I came back to Texas for two main reasons. One was to reconcile with my mother, maybe have a relationship again, but that didn’t happen. She made her choice. The other was you. To stop hiding my feelings and take a chance. Well, we took that chance and I guess it costs too much for you.”
“I just need time.”
“Time for what? We’ve been circling each other since February and fucking for weeks. We’ve talked about this more than once. What do you still need time for? Huh? To decide the kid of a failed rancher isn’t worth it in the long run? That you’d rather go back to your fuck buddies than take a harder road loving me? What do you need time for, Brand?”
“I’m sorry this is harder for me than for you,” Brand snapped, his dark eyes blazing. “I blew up my life yesterday, and I need time to work through that. My family is all I’ve got.”
Hugo did not let himself flinch or otherwise react to the hurtful statement. “Right. Then from now on you stay away from the bunkhouse and out of my bed.Boss.” He put every ounce of fury he had into that final, single word. With nothing left to say, Hugo turned neatly on his heel and stalked back to his place. But once he passed the threshold to the bunkhouse and locked the door shut, grief swamped him like a heavy, wet blanket he couldn’t untangle himself from. He slid to his butt, back against the door, and shook for a while. He didn’t cry or scream or do any of the things his body craved to dispel the negative emotions buffeting him.
All he could do was exist in them and wonder if his broken heart would ever beat right again.
Brand had been on his way to meet Ramie at The Pointe so he could vent about coming out to his dad, when Hugo ambushed him by his truck. He’d hoped to avoid Hugo until he could figure out how he felt about everything, but Hugo’s tenacity had fucked that right up. And Hugo’s challenging words had set Brand’s back up in the worst way. Brand had responded out of self-preservation rather than emotion, and he’d managed to drive Hugo away.
Did we break up? Is that what happened?
He had no idea.
He also had no energy left to meet up with Ramie tonight, so he texted her, calling it off with no explanation. She responded, telling him to call her whenever. Instead, he called for Brutus and they walked. Brand didn’t go in any particular direction, he just walked and absently stroked Brutus’s head once in a while. Brutus loped along with him, happy to be with his human, while Brand’s brain spun out in all kinds of directions without landing on any single thought.
All he knew for sure was that his father was ignoring him, Hugo was angry with him, and Brand didn’t know what to do to make both men happy.
So he walked.
Hugo slept for shit that night, tossing and turning, alternating between too hot and too cold, and more than once he swore he heard Brand’s gentle snores in his ear. But every time Hugo opened his eyes, he was alone. He was haunted by thoughts of Wayne Woods banging on the bunkhouse door and demanding Hugo pack his bags and leave. Also with thoughts of Brand storming into the room and declaring them done.
Both thoughts left Hugo unsettled and queasy. He gave up on sleep when the sun rose and was to work early. He’d been given half a day today, since their herds were less than half the size they’d previously been, and his initial plans had been to spend his afternoon at the July Fourth celebration in town. Maybe hang with Brand for a while and share some kettle corn with him.
Now he wasn’t so sure.
He worked his half-day, aware of the quiet around the ranch with Wayne, Brand, Rose, and Rem all at the celebration, having fun and pushing their cattle. The isolation fucked with his head a little bit. His only saving grace was Brutus, who hung close to Hugo while he worked in the barn. He adored this dog, who was as loyal as they came. His fur was still a bit uneven in a few places where he’d had stitches all those months ago, but all in all, Brutus was thriving.
If only Hugo could say the same thing about himself. Right now, he was barely treading water. The only thing keeping him sane was that he hadn’t been fired yet. Then again, Wayne could be scared of Hugo retaliating, considering Brand was his immediate supervisor and Hugo could scream coercion. Not that Hugo ever would. He’d walked into this thing with Brand with his eyes wide open. Hell, Hugo had instigated the entire relationship.
Were they waiting for Hugo to resign and run away with his tail between his legs? He’d never do that. Not again. He had run once but he’d come back. No more running. If he left again, it would be because he had no other choice in employment. Right now, he had a job he loved, a place of his own, and choices. Until something dramatic changed, Hugo wasn’t going anywhere.
Except maybe into town.
Hugo drove the scooter to the Roost. The place was pretty empty, probably most folks busy at the festival happening at Westwood Park near the Baptist church. Someone had put up patriotic bunting around the bar, and only a few tables had customers. The Roost served regular food through six o’clock, then switched over to a few simple appetizers, plus bowls of peanuts and pretzels for the drinking crowd.
He sat at the bar, not surprised when Ramie came over with a menu and a curious smile. “Figured you’d be at the festival,” she said. “Getcha a drink? We’ve got a Patriot Beer special.”
“What’s that?”
“Basically a Boilermaker but with a double shot.”
“Sounds good.” He looked at the simple menu of sandwiches, burgers, and apps while she made the drink. Boilermakers weren’t usually his thing, because combining beer and hard liquor was a good way for Hugo to end up with a hangover, but he didn’t care right now. His heart hurt, and he needed something to soothe it. When Ramie came back, he ordered their classic burger with all the fixings, plus extra bacon. If he was going to indulge in alcohol, might as well line his gut with greasy food first.
Since Ramie only had a handful of customers to attend to, she very deliberately began wiping down the clean counter in front of Hugo. “Are you and Brand okay?” she whispered. “We were supposed to get together last night to talk, but he blew me off. And now you’re here alone, looking like someone kicked you in the balls.”
Hugo sipped his drink and nearly gagged at the flavor. There was a reason he didn’t order these things. “I don’t know what we are, but I do know you can keep a secret. Right?”
“Of course. Brand told me about you two and I haven’t told a soul. Swear.”
“His dad found out and Brand came out as bi. But now his dad isn’t talking to him, and Brand isn’t talking to me, and I think we might have broken up last night.” He briefly described their interaction by Brand’s truck as he worked his way through his Patriot whatever drink.
“I’m sure his dad is just surprised,” Ramie said. “I mean, who wouldn’t be? Coming out at thirty-five like that. Give them time.”
“I want to, but I hate that Brand is keeping his distance. I just want him to talk to me, that’s all.”
