Page 44 of His Fresh Start Cowboy
“Kinda, yeah.” She smiled, though, holding no grudge about that night three years ago.
Brand had first noticed Ramie when she started bartending at the Roost, and he’d been instantly attracted to her. She was different from most of the girls in town. Sassy, blunt, and no-nonsense, Ramie wasn’t afraid to tell off a rude customer, and he’d wanted to get to know her. Find out where she came from and why she’d chosen to settle in a small town like Weston.
Turned out she’d inherited a small house in town from a great-aunt with no other living heirs, so she’d left a corporate job in San Antonio to move here and live a quieter life. A quiet life that included weekend drunks and Monday night football crowds, but she was happy in Weston. After flirting hard for several weeks, Ramie finally invited him to her place. Just sex, she’d said, not interested in a relationship. Brand had been fine with that. The sex had been great, and during casual conversation afterward, Brand had commented on how much he enjoyed being single. No complications like Rem had with a wife and kid, and Ramie had gone stiff. Kicked him out.
When he finally got her to talk to him again a week later, she admitted that she did have a kid—one she’d given up for adoption a few months before moving here. He hadn’t pressed her for details or reasons, because he understood the pain of giving up a child more than he’d been able to say. He hadn’t told her his high school fuckup until about six months later, once their friends-with-benefits relationship was firmly established.
She was the only person outside the family he’d ever told about giving up all parental rights to his own baby before the kid was even born.
“Let me ask you a question,” Ramie said.
Brand sipped his beer. “Go for it.”
“Can you see yourself ever telling Hugo about the baby you gave up? Can you see yourself being that comfortable and trusting with him?”
“Maybe. I definitely need to get to know him more, and every time it feels like we’re making progress, he pulls away again. It’s driving me nuts. It’s almost like...”
“Like what?”
“Like he took a chance on his mother, but she threw that back in his face. Maybe he’s gun-shy now, and he doesn’t want to risk getting his heart bruised again. Especially after my major fuckup in the hayloft.”
“Sounds reasonable. Also sounds like you gotta figure out a way to show him you care. And that you maybe want more than just friendship?”
Brand groaned and leaned his head back against the rear windshield of the truck. “That’s the problem. I do want more, but I’m terrified of taking that step. It was easy with Jackson, because we were just fucking around, same as with you. But I could see myself dating Hugo. Being with him, and it scares me to death.”
“Because of your parents?”
“Them and the ranch as a whole. We’re taking a huge chance with transitioning to organic beef, and I don’t want that to blow up in my face if a buyer decides they don’t like dealing with a queer vendor.”
Ramie tapped her finger against her beer can. “So you’re gonna what? Stay single the rest of your life? Hope you meet a girl you’re into and want to marry so you aren’t alone?”
“I don’t know. Life was so much simpler before Hugo came back.”
“It might have been simple, but were you happy? Or were you just going through the motions?”
Brand let out a long, frustrated breath, grateful to have a friend who knew him as well as she did, and also annoyed by the same. She always had been able to read him easily, and he’d adored that about her. It was something he’d always wanted in a partner, but she had also been very clear from the start that they weren’t dating. It had actually taken about six months and quite a few beers before Ramie admitted she was a sex-positive aromantic asexual. She loved sex and enjoyed having it, but in no way did she want or desire a romantic relationship with another person.
So they’d enjoyed three years of friendship and good sex. Until Hugo flipped Brand’s life upside down.
“I don’t know,” Brand said. “I wasn’t as happy as I could be, but at least things were simple. Now every decision I make feels like I could step on a land mine and blow everything up.”
Ramie watched him steadily for several long moments. “Then let me ask you something else. How would you feel if Hugo went out tonight and hooked up with someone else? Maybe Jackson, or some rando he meets in a bar?”
Brand squeezed his fingers tight and crinkled his beer can, actively hating the idea—and a little scared of what his reaction meant.
“That’s what I thought,” she said. “So now you either need to get over this crush and move on with your life, or pull a Cowardly Lion, find your courage, and ask him out on a real date. Take a chance on maybe finding something real.”
“You’re right.” He had no idea which choice he was going to make but this was why he’d wanted to talk to Ramie about the whole thing. She said what was on her mind, always had, and he appreciated that about her. “This is why you’re my best friend.”
“Damn right it is.” She pressed her shoulder against his. “No matter what happens, you’ve always got me, bud.”
“I know. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“And hopefully you never have to find out.”
They tapped the lips of their beers together in a silent salute. Brand took a long gulp, then gazed up at the blanket of stars above them. One of his favorite childhood memories was camping in their backyard with Colt. Rem had been too young and the girls weren’t into it, but Brand and Colt had loved it. Looking at the stars, telling ghost stories and making spooky faces with a flashlight. Sharing fun times with his big brother.
A big brother who’d left one summer without a word. Brand had been heartbroken and furious, and he’d spent a lot of years hating Colt for putting their family through so much turmoil. But Brand grew up and into the role as eldest Woods son. And then Colt came back into their lives three years ago, and Brand finally understood why he’d disappeared. He’d gone away because he’d been afraid of never living an authentic life if he stayed.
