Page 23 of His Fresh Start Cowboy
“The pleasure is mine,” Mom said. “I spent so many years cooking for upwards of seven people that I love having extras for supper.”
True story. Growing up with four other siblings, they’d almost never used the kitchen nook, because there hadn’t been room for most family dinners. Once everyone began to grow up and move out, the dining room became less of a casual spot and more formal. Used for birthdays, holidays, and special occasions like Colt’s homecoming three years ago.
For all that Brand had spent half his life without his big brother in it, right now he really wished Colt was around so Brand could ask him for advice about Hugo. Phone apps were a thing, but it wasn’t the same as a face-to-face conversation. Especially when only two people in the world knew he was bi.
He trailed Jackson to the front door, where both men put on their boots. Jackson grabbed his hat from the coat tree and plopped it on his head as soon as they were on the porch. “Follow me to the barn,” Brand said. Not a request.
Dog trailed them most of the way there, her tail wagging, probably eager to get home and have her own supper. Jackson made a noise and gesture at her, and she loped off toward his truck. “I think she misses Brutus,” Jackson said as he and Brand ambled their way to the barn. The big doors were shut for the night, but the regular-sized door stood open. Dim light was cast from inside, kept low at night so the horses and heifers could rest.
“We both do,” Brand replied. A few steps inside the barn, he wasn’t even startled when Jackson crowded him against the rough-hewn wall. He did manage to turn his head before Jackson’s mouth could land on his. “Not what I meant when I said I wanted to talk to you.”
Jackson immediately took a step back, hands in the air in a gesture of surrender. “My bad. Thought you might need a distraction from what happened today.”
A few weeks ago, Brand would not have said no to Jackson wrangling him up into the hayloft, bending him over a bale, and fucking Brand senseless. Today? No. “I do need a distraction but not that, and not from you.” When Jackson’s face flickered with hurt, Brand added, “I really wanted to say thank you for finding and saving Brutus. If Dog means as much to you as Brutus does to me, then you know how much I mean it. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I do know how you feel about your animal, and I’m grateful we found him when we did. He’s a special dog.”
“Yeah. And you’re a special guy, Jackson.” Brand slid his gaze toward the open barn door. “But I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
Jackson gave him a long, slow blink that said nothing to his emotional state. “I see. Should I, ah, say congrats to you and Ramie?”
“No.” He had always been honest with both Jackson and Ramie about...well, seeing them both wasn’t quite the right way to phrase it, since he wasn’t dating anyone. But they knew about the other. Brand and Ramie were officially just best friends; it was beyond time Brand set the same boundary with Jackson, especially with his conflicted feelings for Hugo clouding his judgment. “Ramie and I are friends, the same way I hope we can stay friends. I have no regrets, Jackson, but I don’t see this going forward anymore.”
Something flickered in Jackson’s eyes, and then he nodded. “Understood, and no hard feelings. We both knew this was a temporary thing, and it was fun while it lasted.”
“Yeah. See you tomorrow?”
“Bright and early.” Jackson tipped his hat and left the barn.
A little sad and a lot annoyed with himself, Brand climbed the ladder to the barn’s hayloft. While they mostly moved bales of hay from the loft out the upper doors via a pulley system, Brand loved going up the vertical, somewhat rickety wood stairs that sometimes felt like a ninja warrior challenge to ascend. Or maybe he was just getting older.
He sat on the plank floor strewn with bits of old hay and chaff as so many memories of this loft assaulted him. Not only dozens of memories of being up here with Jackson these last few years—and while the sex had been great, it had also been unsatisfying in its own way—but also that single encounter up here with Hugo a lifetime ago. An earnest sixteen-year-old, eager to please his older crush, ready to give Brand everything when Brand had been shocked as hell simply from a kiss. A long, sensual kiss that had lit a fire inside his belly, made Brand want more, and scared him to death all at the same time.
Hugo had been temptation in tight jeans, boots, and a sassy smirk, and it had taken everything in Brand to stop after that first kiss. To stop when his entire body longed to shove Hugo down, tear his clothes off, and see exactly what the younger man was down for. But as much as Brand regretted not finding out back then, today he was glad for his own restraint. Glad he hadn’t done something they’d both have regretted.
Glad he hadn’t taken something he wasn’t sure Hugo had been truly ready to give.
On a whim, he texted Colt:You up?
It wasn’t super late yet, and California was two hours behind, but Brand didn’t want to interrupt his big brother if he was busy. A few minutes later his phone rang. Colt.
“Hey, man, you didn’t have to call,” Brand said.
“No sweat,” Colt replied. “I haven’t done much for the last few hours, because I’m the stupid-ass idiot who missed the nail he was trying to hammer and smashed his thumb instead, so Judson made me take the night off.”
“Ouch.” His entire body flinched because yeah, Brand had done that more than a few times. “Gonna lose the fingernail?”
“Not sure yet. It’s bruised but not black. Prolly just be sore for a few days. So what’s up? Hugo fitting in okay?”
Too okay, and I don’t know how to tell you about it.“He’s doing fine. He’s smart and great on a horse. He helped me out a lot today.” Brand told Colt about Brutus and the attack, leaving out some of the more tender moments he’d shared with Hugo that day. “Got a good head in a crisis, that’s for sure.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know him well but he always struck me as a pretty levelheaded kid. He and Rem the same hellions I imagine they were back in high school?”
“Nah, they’ve both grown up a lot. I mean, Rem’s got one kid and they’ve been trying for another.” And Hugo wasn’t the same earnest, nervous, occasionally wise-assed kid he remembered. Everyone had grown up. “So do you think you and Avery will be able to make it out for the county fair at the end of April? We’re showing off our organic steer, and Mom’s got all kinds of pies and jams to show, plus the chili cook-off.”
Colt chuckled. “I think we can swing it. I swapped my week off with Ernie, and most of Avery’s classes will be close to over by then. He’s almost all online now anyway. Slater and Derrick are cool with stopping by every day to feed the cat.”
Growing up with dogs, it was sometimes hard to picture Colt as a cat person, but he and Avery had a rescue they adored. “Awesome. Well, you know you guys can stay at the house instead of a hotel in Amarillo. Or if you want, we could even clean out the bunkhouse to give you guys some privacy.”
