Page 40 of Suddenly Desired
Blake’s gaze snapped to hers, sharp and focused, and the rest of his sentence evaporated.
“Don’t,” she told him, expecting the worst. “Don’t apologise.”
He closed his eyes, taking a breath. Ellie studied his lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again. She forced the thought away. It felt as if her heart was running away with her, and if she didn’t try to stop it now then it was going to carry her right over the edge of a cliff. If there was one thing Ellie Mae Woodward was good at, it was getting her heart broken.
“I want you, Ellie,” he said, his tone ragged, almost like he was forcing the words through a knot in his throat. “That kiss . . .” His jaw clenched, and his grip strengthened slightly. “Never mind the lift, I’d stop the damn world to touch you like that again.”
For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her again. She wanted him to, so badly it was almost painful, but then his expression shifted — became cautious, guarded.
He sighed, and she could hear the ‘but’ before he said it. She braced herself.
“But I can’t right now,” he said, quietly. “As much as I want to. As much as I want you,I’m a mess, and you deserve more than that. You deserve more than someone whose life is currently a train wreck.”
He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe he was saying it.
Ellie swallowed, her throat dry. “Blake, you don’t—”
“I do,” he cut her off. “I don’t want to drag you into this storm. I need to figure it out on my own. And I need to go after Michelle — that’s not going to be pretty.”
There was a finality in his voice that made her stomach drop. He was putting up a wall, a solid one, but she could still see the cracks.
“It’s not about you,” he said softly, his thumb brushing her knuckles. “You’ve been . . . incredible. Since the moment we met. I don’t know who sent you, but if I let myself fall into this right now, I don’t know how I’d ever pull myself back out, and you deserve someone who can show up for you completely.”
Ellie felt her heart sink, but she refused to let him see it. She’d already given away too much. She nodded, forcing herself to keep her voice steady. “I get it. You need space.”
Blake’s hand lifted to her face, his fingers grazing her cheek, and she leaned into the touch despite herself. For a second, everything else fell away — the noise of the city, the heat of the sun, the ache of what he’d just said. It was just him and her, suspended in a fragile, fleeting moment.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
She shook her head, her lips curving into the faintest smile. “Don’t be.”
She placed her hand on his for a moment, holding it tight to her cheek, then she stepped away.
He turned to the car, Alfie rolling down the window as Blake gave the driver his instructions. Then he faced Ellie again. “Alfiewill take you home.” His tone was firm, leaving no room for argument. “I’ll find another way back.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Ellie protested. “I’m not kicking you out of your own car.”
“You’re not kicking me out,” Blake said with a ghost of a smirk. “I’m offering.”
Before she could argue further, he stepped away, nodding at Alfie, who tipped his cap in response. Blake’s gaze lingered on her for a heartbeat longer than it should have, his eyes dark and unreadable. Then, without another word, he turned and walked down the street.
Ellie watched him go, her chest tightening with every step he took. She told herself to look away, to let him go, but her eyes refused to obey. Even as the distance between them grew, even as he disappeared into the crowd, she stood there, rooted to the spot, her heart racing like she’d just run a marathon.
She finally forced herself to turn away, her hands trembling slightly as she shut the car door. Alfie glanced at her in the rearview mirror but said nothing, pulling smoothly away into the traffic.
Chapter 20
ELLIE
They drove in silence, but Ellie’s mind was an orchestra of noise. The tune was a chaotic one, every thought playing out of time:
He kissed me.
I kissed him back.
He touched me.
I gave myself to him.
