Page 46 of Suddenly Desired
“I can hear that,” her mum said, her voice full of sarcasm. “Be sure to wash behind your ears.”
“I mean in life,” Ellie said. “Things might be happening and I might need to be here.”
“Lissa will give you some time,” said her mum. She must have been feeding the chickens because there was a sudden flurry of clucks and squawks. “It sounds like you could do with a break from work, or from whatever else is bothering you.”
The ‘whatever else’ was probably sitting right outside the bathroom door, eavesdropping on her conversation. Ellie pulled her leg back into the water, a current of warmth running up her body.
“Tell you what,” her mum went on. “Just come for the weekend. I’ll transfer you the money for the train tickets. One weekend, recharge those batteries.”
The honest truth was itwouldbe good to get away for a bit. Mum’s farm was an island of peace and tranquillity, a havenwhere she had always felt better about herself and the world. True, Mum would fuss about her hair and complain about her diet and lecture her on her love life and tell her what she should be doing to improve her business plan, but she would also put extra pillows on her bed and plait her hair and give her plenty of cuddles.
“I’ll make banoffee pie,” teased her mum, and Ellie laughed.
“Okay, okay,” she said. “I’ll come. I’ve got this weekend off anyway. I’m fine for money.” She hoped her mum wouldn’t hear the lie. “I’ll travel down tonight. You’re right, it will be good to get away from it all. From work, from you know who.”
And from Blake, she thought. Here in the city there was no way she’d be able to shake him from her thoughts. She could still feel him on her lips, taste him on her tongue. She could still remember the heat of his hands on her skin, his fingers winding through her hair.
“Can you pick me up from the station?” she asked, hoping her mum wouldn’t be able to feel the heat of her cheeks through the phone. She sat up, water sloshing.
“Of course, dear. I’ll be there. Just text me your train times.”
“I will,” Ellie said. “Thank you.”
“You know you’re always welcome,” said her mum, a twinkle in her voice. “And you know you’re also always welcome to bring a guest. Like the man you were out with last night.”
“Goodbye, Mum.” Ellie jabbed a wet finger on the ‘end call’ icon. She threw the phone on to her dressing gown and took a big gulp of her prosecco. She could almost feel the countryside wind on her skin, the fresh, woodland-scented air in her lungs, Blake’s hand in hers as they strolled through the trees . . .
Stop it!
Why had her mum planted that image in her head? Ellie downed the rest of the glass then rinsed her hair and climbed out of the bath. Wrapping herself in her dressing gown, she openedthe door and nearly jumped out of her skin. Josh was leaning against the wall, waiting for her. He looked her up and down, a sly smile appearing on his face.
“Nice,” he said.
Behind him, the TV was tuned to the news. The anchors were dissecting the fallout of Blake’s scandal, and Ellie’s heart clenched at the sight of his picture on the screen, what must be the members of the board standing with him. But suddenly Ellie felt her brain itch with a warning as she looked at them all.
“Get out of my way, Josh,” she snapped, heading for the bedroom.
“You never used to put a dressing gown on,” he said as she slammed the door behind her.
Her skin crawled. He was such a creep. Why wouldn’t he just get the hint? At least she didn’t have to take him home to the farm anymore. He’d always put Ellie down in front of Mum, making cheap shots at her lack of domesticity at the dining table, or laughing at her attempts to saddle the horses — even though he’d never set foot on a farm in his life.
To her credit, Mum had always put him in his place and come to Ellie’s defence, but it made her sad to think that her mum had needed to do that. What kind of man belittled his girlfriend everywhere they went?
Maybe she could go home and never come back. There were plenty of coffee shops there, after all, and Josh would never come looking for her.
“By the way,” he said from right outside the door, his voice making her shudder. “I thought you should know, that idiot is on the TV again. Blake Whatshisname.”
“I saw,” she heard herself say. “And?”
“Just thought you might want to know what kind of trouble he’s got himself into now,” said Josh. “That guy is toast. A fraud. And he’s heading straight for the scrap heap.”
Ellie saw red — literally, her vision darkening with the force of her rage. She wrenched open the door so hard it crunched into the wall. Josh stood there, an expression of surprise on his round face. Ellie took a step towards him, jabbing a finger in his direction.
“He’s not a fraud,” she said, her voice low and dangerous. “In fact, I only know one fraud, and I’m looking right at him.”
Josh’s wet lips parted as he tried to object, but Ellie cut him off. “You, Josh. You’re a fraud. Just look at yourself, you’re so desperate, so pathetic. You hang around me like there’s a hope I might come back to you. But I never will. It’s not just that you’re weak, it’s not just that you treated me like shit. It’s not even that you lied to me every single day we were together, because YOU ARE A FRAUD. It’s that you believed it — you believed you were better than me, and that you were doing me a favour by deigning to be with me.”
She had to stop so that she could claw in a breath. “I’m never going to be with you, do you understand? I’m never going to say yes. You make my skin crawl, Josh. You make me feel ill. Is that clear enough? You can spend every single day hanging out here or at my work, but nothing will make me like you, nothing will make me care for you, and even if you were the last man on Earth, I wouldn’t be with you.”
