Page 51 of Suddenly Tempted
“I’ve never thought about it that way,” he said quietly. “How do you know exactly what to say?”
“Because I feel like I know you,” she said. “It’s impossible, I get it. We have only been here a couple of days, but we’ve been through so much. I’m sorry, I know it must sound crazy.”
“It doesn’t,” he said, his lips curving into a smile. “I think it’s called trauma bonding.”
Darcy hit his chest softly in jest.
“Oy,” she said, smiling. “Don’t belittle this. Sounds like we’ve both been through enough past trauma to have enough bonds with that to keep us going. This is—”
Darcy didn’t have a chance to finish her sentence as Devlin covered her lips with his own.
“You’re anything but trauma,” he spoke onto her lips. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
“Happily,” Darcy whispered.
I would happily spend my life right here with you. Every last day of it.
And she was so certain it was the truth. She was so sure.
Until she woke up the next morning to find that Devlin had gone.
Chapter 26
DEVLIN
Of all the terrible things he’d done in his life, this felt like the worst.
Devlin stood for a moment, watching Darcy sleep. She was curled up on the single bed, burrowed into the blanket with a smile on her face. She was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen — her button nose was the cutest, her lips the sweetest. Memories of the previous night and the way she had looked made Devlin’s body run hot with desire. But there was something else, too. Something that made what he was about to do, near on impossible. She had an inner strength, a core of goodness, that he hadn’t seen in anyone for a long time. She wasn’t afraid to stand up to him when he was wrong, and she wasn’t afraid to fight for what was right. That integrity and honesty shone from her. It seemed to make her rise up above everyone else in his life.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, kissing her gently on the head. “I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me.”
The thoughts of what this would do to her made him feel sick, but he had no other choice. What she’d said to him, the way she seemed to read him, shifted something deep inside him, as if the broken pieces of his heart were starting to move back together again. Could she really be right? Would people genuinely still admire him if he wasn’t Devlin Storm ‘the rebel’? If he wasn’t the angry, alpha man who made the headlines for all the wrong reasons? If he was Devlin Storm ‘the nice guy’? It was the very opposite of what he had believed for such a long time, he didn’t know if he could trust that idea at all.
Back in the beginning, when he’d first started designing, that’s all he’d wanted people to see: the clothes. He’d wanted people to look at those designs and see the happiness that had created them, the joy they could bring. Then somewhere down the line he’d forgotten himself, and he’d become somebody different. He wasn’t sure how the change had happened or what had triggered it, but he knew that the persona he’d developed allowed him the space to sit back from people’s views about him. It wasn’t him they were talking about, was it? It was Devlin Storm the ego. But somehow the persona had taken over his whole life. And it had turned sour.
Darcy had shown him that it wasn’t too late to change.
And he was repaying her by betraying her.
No,he thought, fumbling with the thermal trousers he’d found in one of the lockers.Not betraying her, saving her.
Because deep down he knew what it would be like for her if he didn’t. All the press, all the interviews, all the gossip. It would hurt her, and he wasn’t willing to do that. No. The real truth was that he had been Devlin Storm for so long that change would be impossible. Even if he tried, the world he lived in was so ruthless that anyone who got in the way would get hurt.
As quietly as he could, he slid on his T-shirt, a jumper, and a brand-new thermal jacket. He winced as his injured arm was squashed as he zipped up the thick, down jacket, and Darcy stirred. She mumbled something, reaching out and wrapping her arms around the pillow that Devlin had pressed against her in place of his warmth when he’d climbed out of bed. A moment of doubt passed through him and he wondered if he should just climb back beneath the blanket with her, pull her into his arms, and fall back asleep. He felt a powerful ache as he thought about the way her body fit so perfectly around his. Surely that couldn’t be a bad thing?
But the truth was that it scared him. And wasn’t that just the root of all his problems? No one would believe him, looking at the way he was from the outside. But Devlin Storm was scared. He was so afraid, it was paralysing.
When his mum had passed, he had been broken. If he opened up to Darcy and let her in, if he let himself be close to her, if something more developed between them and he grew to care about her as much as he feared he could, then there was a danger he could lose her too. That thought terrified him.Better to be a mountain, he said silently to himself.Better to shut yourself off from the world so that nothing else can hurt you.
He shook his head sadly, opening the door to the bunkroom and immediately catching sight of his small suitcase. That was the other reason he was sneaking away before dawn. He had a job to do, and he needed to do it alone.
He filled his pockets with protein bars and chocolate from the food cupboard, then grabbed a pen and paper and started to write.
Dear Darcy,
I’m sorry. You said I’m like a frozen lake, and you were right. But you deserve warmth and sunlight in your life, not the cold I bring. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thaw enough to give you what you truly deserve. I want you to be happy, to find joy and adventure, and live the life that’s waiting for you. I’ll wire you the money as soon as I’m back — use it to chase your dreams and create the life you deserve.
Devlin
