Page 35 of The Rogue

“I don’t want to go out. Not yet. Like, I don’t want to barhop, and whatever else, because mostly right now I cannot stand the idea of having everybody look at me and think that I’m the poor jilted bride.”

“In fairness,” he said. “That may last a while.”

“Yeah, I know,” she said.

“What’s your plan then? Hole up at King’s Crest?”

“Is that bad? I have the next few weeks off. I don’t have to go into public.”

“No,” he said. “You don’t. But that might build it up and do something that’s difficult to get past.”

“You’re an expert on that?”

His expression was neutral. “I know a thing or two about it.”

“Okay. So I just need to come up with some things.”

“Alternatively, you could let it unfold naturally.”

“No. I want a plan.”

“Lord.”

“Iwillhave an adventure,” Rue said. “What are all the things that I haven’t done because I’ve been just too cautious?”

His blue gaze landed on her, his expression bland. “I could not rightly say.”

“I barely have any experience on horses. I haven’t been on one since I was a kid. It looks like fun. And you... The way you ride it makes it look like an adventure. I want that.”

“I can definitely take you on a ride.”

“And... oh, I want to do a polar plunge.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No. I’m not. It’s like a completely insane thing to do, and I have always thought so. I hate getting cold, and I don’t really like just jumping in the water.”

“Why is this turning into doing things you hate? Talk about piling on the martyrdom.”

“It’s just... my life is different. I didn’t choose it. I want some things to feel totally different because of some things I chose at least. I want it to feel significant. Maybe I’ll hate everything. I probably shouldn’t get a tattoo right now.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Big no on the tattoo.”

“But there are things that are not permanent, that are not going to actually injure me that... I have this time off. I have this time away and... and this was supposed to be special. This was supposed to be my first married vacation. My first...” Her throat went tight. Because she hadn’t wanted to think about this part. “I’m thirty-two. I was supposed to be getting married and starting my family. The family that I wanted to have. The family I wish that I had all my life, but didn’t because... I just didn’t. This was supposed to be a special, beautiful, idyllic holiday. Maybe the only one before we had kids.”

She could sense Justice’s discomfort. “Anyway. I don’t want to dwell on that. But if my life isn’t headed in that direction, I just want something different. Zip lining. I want to go zip lining.”

“Maybe when the wind isn’t trying to eat your face off.”

She really didn’t like being cold. Regrettably, most of these ideas she had involved the outdoors. “I can wait for it to warm up.”

“Apolar plunge.” He shook his head. “You’re on your own. I don’t do that shit. I don’t do masochism for the sake of it.”

“It’s not masochistic. It’s supposed to be good for you.” If anything could provide mental clarity at this point, she needed it. If a baptism in ice would do it, she was all for it.

“A lot of things are supposed to be good for you. And I don’t do them because they aren’t fun.”

“That’s my problem. I’ve done all the sane things, the good things. And for what?”

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