Page 37 of Dallas

“Did I say the wrong thing?” I ask.

“You just… You sound sentimental.”

“I am sentimental,” I say. “Pretty damn sentimental, actually.”

“Why?”

“Because life has given us plenty enough to be jaded about.”

She snorts. “True. But I’m never jaded when it comes to Lord of the Rings.”

“And I’m never jaded when it comes to you.”

“You have to stop saying things like that, Dodge,” she says.

“And why is that?”

“Because. You can’t make a wild animal into a house pet.”

Except she’s never really been a wild animal with me. But I don’t say that, because for some reason she needs to be protected by this narrative. But I’m too nice to mention it. Far too kind to ask her why she’s hiding behind the One Ring.

“Whatever.”

She throws a piece of popcorn at me. And I smile.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

Chapter Nine

Sarah

I’m starting a new job today, and I’ve started so many new jobs that you would think at this point it wouldn’t make me nervous. But everything feels high stakes because I feel like I’m a representative of Dallas, and all the things that he’s vouched for.

Because he said that I was going to be good at this, so I really hope that I am.

I don’t have a car, so he drops me off in front of the store in the morning, promising to pick me up in the afternoon.

I feel clingy.

Like a kid getting dropped off at her first day of kindergarten, though honestly, I always loved it when whatever adult was in charge of me dropped me off somewhere. A few hours of freedom away from whatever dysfunctional situation I was in? Yay!

This is different. But I guess it’s like a normal kid might’ve felt in thosecircumstances.

“What if I screw this up?”

He smiles, and that smile tugs at something inside me.

He’s just so… This past week has been the happiest in recent memory. Really, since I had him in my life before. I have forced him to watch the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and he didn’t even really complain. He complained more when I would make him watch it when we were kids. He has a comfy couch and popcorn. My room is cute, and his family is wonderful. His sisters are the sweetest things.

That I’m happy is actually the thing making me nervous, I think.

Because I don’t really know how to deal with happiness. There’s always an end to it. At least in my experience. Flashes of joy like this are always too brief.

“You won’t screw it up. Even if you do, I’ll be on your side.”

I get out of the car, making an exasperated sound. “That’s not helpful.”

“Sorry. I can’t be endlessly sage. I’m going riding with my dad. I’ll see you later.”

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