Page 40 of Cruel Summer

“It fascinates me. The bold lack of sophistication is something we could all learn from.” To prove her point, she popped the whole handful of Fritos into her mouth.

“I guess I’ve mostly seen you in more controlled contexts.”

“Parenting while on vacation?”

“Yes.” He leaned back and settled into the seat, and she tried not to track his every movement out of the corner of her eye. “You were sort of the cruise director for all those trips.”

“I’m very good at that,” she said.

“You are.” She could feel his smile. So profoundly she had to turn and look at him. The corner of his mouth was kicked up, just a little bit. “How does it feel to let someone else direct the cruise?”

“I… You are…” She laughed and shook her head. “I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you once we’ve been through a few ports.”

“I’ll be sure to hand out a survey.”

“Please do.”

NINE

Anacortes–Orcas Island route

A ferry

Family vacation—seven years ago

It was a beautiful afternoon, even if the Pacific Northwest wind was determined to make sure the sun didn’t warm them too sufficiently.

“Someday, Hawaii,” she said resolutely when a gust of wind came up off the ocean.

“Someday,” Will agreed, lifting his wineglass.

They were sitting at a big wine and food festival happening at farm on Orcas Island. The kids were all playing games under the supervision of festival employees, though Jude was looking a little bit over cool for all of it at fourteen. Though she could see he secretly wanted to play all the games, and that the excuse of keeping an eye on his siblings so that he had to participate was probably welcome.

Will’s focus was abruptly pulled over to the opposite side of the big field, where drinks were being served. There were several bachelorette parties in attendance at the festival—easily identified by the short skirts, sashes and groups of women with similar aesthetics flocking together. It seemed as if a couple of the bachelorette party attendees were focused on Logan.

“That’s a lot,” she said, taking a sip of the flavored sparkling water she was drinking.

These damned fancy things and their lack of actual Coke products.

She preferred drinks with actual flavor, not drinks that tasted like the last gasp of a dying lemon had been given in the room next door, so as to only gently infuse the fizzy liquid.

“It’s like he got rolled in honey and put on an anthill, and women are the ants,” Will said.

“Sound slightly envious there, babe,” she said, unconcerned, her gaze fixed on Logan. “Does he… I mean, it’s been almost three years, but…”

She couldn’t imagine that. Losing Will and starting over. Having even the slightest desire to start over.

“He’snot dead, Sam.”

“No, I get that. I get that.”

It was just that for her, sex was…so intimate. The idea of being with someone else was something she really couldn’t wrap her head around.

It felt weird to see him, Will’s friend who had been with Becca, and then alone, chatting it up with random women.

She wrinkled her nose. “I guess I can’t really understand why a hookup wouldfulfillanything.”

Her husband stared at her. “You don’t get why…”

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