Page 12 of Cruel Summer

She really should have complained more.

“If you end up needing somewhere to stay, you know you’re welcome to stay with me,” said Elysia.

“Or me,” said Whitney, “but then, she doesn’t have a man hanging out, cluttering the place up.”

Sam tried to laugh. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

She walked back home, and she knew she had a little bit of time before Will would arrive. She showered and changed into something nice and told herself it wasn’t because she was trying to make him see that she was still pretty.

Except the whole time she dried her hair, put on moisturizer and eyeliner, and tweezed a couple errant eyebrow hairs, she was alternatively hyping herself up and nitpicking the decline of her beauty.

But when she was done, she thought she looked good. And like maybe if she wanted to agree to this thing, she could probably have some of the openness for herself.

She stared at herself in the mirror, and those features she’d just been examining seemed wholly unfamiliar all of a sudden. So did her whole body. So did every thought.

Whose life was this?

It wasn’t Samantha Parker’s.

Samantha Parker had a perfect life, and everyone knew it. She’ddone things a little out of order, as people liked to whisper, but then they’ddone the right thing. They’d gotten married. She and Will hadn’t gone to church for years, but that didn’t mean they’d let go of everything that had been instilled in them there. More to the point, the culture of the town was…church-driven.

Whether it was Baptist, Catholic, nondenominational, Latter Day Saints or Jehovah’s Witnesses…people here often either came from a religious and traditional background, or were still part of one. Was Will right? Was she just…doing things because she’d been conditioned to do them that way?

Was she…indoctrinated?

Was her shame hers or was it…something someone had given to her?

Did she not actually want any of the things she had?

“I’m pretty sure I do,” she said back to the stranger in the mirror.

But still, she was starting to wonder if she was making a bigger deal out of this than she needed to. A whole Everest out of what could just be an annoying molehill.

He didn’t want to leave her. He wasn’t a liar. He didn’t have secret horrible porn on his computer.

She didn’tthink.

The doorbell rang and she startled, then walked quickly to the kitchen and peered cautiously out the window by the sink, where she could always get a good look at who was there without them actually seeing her.

It wasLogan.

Her husband’s best friend and the first person she’d blamed for his desire to experience bar hookups, considering Logan was a pro at those.

The problem with Logan, though, was that he was…interesting. He did highly specialized restoration on classic cars for a living and drove them to their owners several times year, which Sam had always thought would make for an interesting article series because it was just…cool. She’d even joked about wanting to pull up stakes and go on a trip with him. Which of course she hadn’t actually done, because she knew that she couldn’t actually live his life.

Which Will didn’t seem to realize.

They’d known Logan since high school. But he was two years older than them, so it had been more casual awareness and interaction than anything else.

Logan had beenthatguy. Hot and kind of brooding, and all the girls had whispered when he’d walked through the halls.

He had a dad who drank too much, an old, loud muscle car and a chip on his shoulder. He’d seemed mythical and unapproachable.

Her friend group hadn’t really known his future wife, Becca, either, though not for the same reasons. She’d been in their grade, and Sam had shared two honors classes with her, but she hadn’t started going to school with them until ninth grade, so Sam’s friend group had been set already.

It was after high school, after Becca and Logan had gotten married, that she and Will had gotten to know them. Back then, Logan had been working for a local garage, and Will had taken their car in for an oil change, and they’d gotten to reminiscing about high school.

A lot of people they’d gone to school with had left the area. Jacksonville was a small, quaint town, with the larger “city” of Medford the place with most of the big-box stores, medical facilities and schools. There were limited opportunities, and many people went elsewhere—Portland, Eugene, or down south to California—for work and opportunities.

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