Page 91 of Lights, Camera, Love

‘I don’t know.’ He looks up at the ceiling, then back to the floor. ‘Since I married Nadia, I think, but … I don’t know; I’ve always cared about you way more than I probably should.’ His teeth sink into his bottom lip, his eyes misting over. ‘After you hooked up withNadia, and I got so upset that I did all those drugs and shit—it was because I hated the thought of her having been with you in that way. Rather than … rather than the other way around.’ He clutches his stomach with both hands.

A bewildering silence descends upon the room, and we sit within it for a while, unable to find our way out of this with words. I don’t give a shit that Austin likes guys. The problem is that he feels this way aboutme.

He speaks first, his voice frailer than I’ve ever heard it. ‘Kye … is there … is there any part of you that feels the same way?’

My eyes sink shut, and my throat closes over the response that I know I have to give. ‘Austin, I …’Just say it, Kye, point-blank.‘There’s not. I don’t. I’m sorry.’

His features pull tight, and I sit forward, not touching him but close to him. ‘I do care about youa lot,’ I say. ‘Okay? But not like that. I’m sorry.’

He makes a barely perceptible nod, heartbreak marring his features. ‘But you love Evie?’ he asks in a small voice, his gaze dragging to mine.

‘I think it’s too early to say that. But I feel like I could love her. Yes.’

I’m such a fucking liar. I’ve loved her since the moment I strolled into her dance studio, and she gave me lip for watching the class but not participating.

Austin’s mouth twists, and it’s obvious that I’m hurting him even more, but I refuse to lie to his face about this.

‘Were you ever really interested in Evie?’ I ask gently. ‘Romantically?’

He shakes his head. ‘As wonderful as she is, I just don’t think I lean that way, man. Even when things were good with me and Nadia, she always felt more like a great friend, even though I didn’t mind kissing her now and then. We didn’t have a lot of sex, and that was on me.’ He hangs his head. ‘Even with all her bullshit, I do feel bad for leading her on and messing her up this much.’

‘But all that kissing that you and Evie did at the beach that time,’ I remember. ‘You seemed so … into it.’

He levels a look at me. ‘Don’t you know what I do for a living, Kye? I wasacting. And not just for the paps. I wanted to make you jealous. To show you what you were missing out on.’

My eyes widen a touch before I blink down at my thighs. This is almost too much to process. I try to figure out where we go from here.

With a tremulous sigh, I eventually begin with, ‘Austin, I value our friendship; I really do.’

‘Oh no,’ he groans. He covers his brow with one hand and peeks at me from beneath his fingers.

‘You know we can’t work together,’ I say. ‘Or live together.’

A tear wobbling in his eye finally makes a break for it and rolls down his cheek.

‘It’s not justthis,’ I add as delicately as I can. ‘It’s been on the cards for a while, and I think you’ve probably feltthat as well. I’m not cut out to be a talent manager—I’m way too intolerant of the bullshit that goes on in the entertainment industry.’

A small smile circles Austin’s mouth, but it doesn’t quite land.

‘What I’d really like to do,’ I continue, ‘is to use some of my experience to help kids in the foster care system.’

His brows lift. ‘Really?’ He sits back, a thought moving through his eyes. ‘I think you’d be great at that, man.’

A gush of relief makes my lips curl up. ‘Thank you.’ After a pause, I add, ‘Actually, a job has come up at Angel Care that Mike thinks I’d be good for. The only thing is, it’s in Melbourne.’

Austin’s face falls. ‘Shit—really?’

‘Yeah.’

He slumps forward, his gaze spilling to the floor. He murmurs his next question so quietly that I’m not even sure I hear it right. ‘But what about you and Evie?’

‘Me and Evie?’

‘Yeah.’

Bricks stack up in my chest, weighing down my torso. ‘I don’t know. I have to talk to her.’

‘You really care about her, don’t you?’ he asks throatily.

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