Page 97 of Love, Just In

‘It’s not my business, and believe me, I know how out of line I am here. But I also know you so well that I feel like I can say this to you. Ineedto say this to you.’

‘Say what?’ My gut draws tight.

Ross’s face empties of colour. ‘I don’t know how much Zac’s told you about the last couple of years, but he hasn’t been himself, Jose. I know he seems OK now, and he puts on a really brave face, but he’s been tohelland back, believe me. The accident with Tara screwed him up big time. Worse than you can even imagine. Worse than he’s probably told you about, because I know how he is with you. He always wants you to see the best side of him. But at one point, after he moved up here, I thought … I thought I was going to lose him.’ Ross’s voice splinters, and the sunny-faced guy I know fades away as tears coat his eyes.

I reach out and clutch the back of his hand, my heart drumming in my chest.

He gulps back water. ‘Fuck me, sorry. I didn’t realise how much I’d been holding in about this.’ After a moment, his voice thickens again. ‘Zac never said he wanted to hurt himself or anything, but I’ve never seen him like that. It was as if he’d died inside. He was justgoing through the motions of life, but it was so obvious he didn’t want to be here. And I’m sure a lot of that was because of his guilt over the accident.’

My heart wrenches up. ‘He thought it should’ve been him who was driving. He told me.’

Ross’s fingers close around my hand. ‘What else did he tell you?’

‘He told me that Tara broke off the engagement just before the accident,’ I add with a tremble.

His eyes search mine. ‘And did he tell you the reason for that?’

My throat bobs as I nod.

A sad smile tugs at Ross’s cheeks. ‘I’m honestly happy for you guys. I feel like this has been a really long time coming. For Zac, at least. But there’s one thing I need to say, even though it’s going to make me feel like a total asshole. After everything I’ve seen Zac go through in the past couple of years, I feel like Ihaveto say this. He’s more than family to me.’

‘Please just say it,’ I cut in tightly.

Ross lets go of my hand and releases a long breath. ‘You need to be sure, Josie. You need to bereallyfucking sure.’

My brows shoot up. ‘What?’

He presses his lips together. ‘He can’t lose someone else. Especially not you. And I know it’s not my business, so you do whatever you want, honestly. But if I don’t say something, I’m worried I’ll regret it. Because this isn’t two years ago when Zac was that happy, carefreeguy you went to uni with. He’s been through something life-changing, which you’re also directly tangled up in. And it’s only been in the last few months that I’ve seen him come back into himself, picking up surfing, going to the gym, adopting a dog—even being able to return to his normal job is a huge sign that he’s in a much better place. So, all I want to say is, if this is just a temporary thing for you, it won’t be for him. I’m sure of that. And I don’t think that guy can take any more heartache. I also don’t know if you realise quite how much you mean to him.’

My brow creases as I sit and stare at Ross, unsure what to say or how to feel about the fact that he obviously doesn’t trust me with Zac’s heart.

‘I have no intention of hurting Zac,’ I say, but my head’s already flying through possible scenarios.

‘What about your plans to move back to Sydney?’ he asks gently.

‘Jesus, Ross, you’re getting a bit ahead of things, aren’t you? Plus, this is really a conversation I should be having with Zac.’

‘I know.’ He leans back so the waitress can deposit our drinks onto the table. Ross empties a sugar packet into his coffee, fixing his gaze on it. ‘Fuck, I probably shouldn’t have said anything. I’ve majorly overstepped. I can be like that. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s OK,’ I mumble through the burn in my throat. ‘Your heart’s in the right place.’

He brings his coffee to his lips, staring at me. When he eventually speaks, the affection in his tone catches meby surprise. ‘You’re an angel. You never hold a grudge against anyone, do you?’

I lift a shoulder. ‘I don’t think so. I don’t know.’ I certainly don’t feel like much of an angel—especially right now.

Ross thankfully changes the subject to a lighter topic that has nothing to do with Zac, but our conversation has opened up a cavern in the pit of my stomach.

Ross’s warning whirls in my mind all the way home.

‘He can’t lose someone else. Especially not you.’

‘You need to be sure, Josie. You need to be really fucking sure.’

With Zac away for the night, I’m left to curl up under his quilt with nothing but my warped thoughts for company. I fight off a sick feeling that I shouldn’t even be here—in his room, in his bed. We were supposed to think things through before making this leap. That plan lasted less than an hour because I threw myself at him like a wild animal.Why am I always so freaking impulsive?

And as intrusive as Ross’s words were, I can’t deny their truth. Zac isn’t the laid-back guy I went to high school with. Not anymore. He’s emotionally scarred for life … a survivor of the worst kind of trauma. And I’m not some girl he picked up on the beach like Meghan Mackay.

I’m the girl he’s called his best friend for fourteen years. Someone who’s supposed to be there for himthrough thick and thin. A one-person support system that never wavers. Someone he can completely trust his heart with.

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