Page 50 of Love, Just In

He turns and blinks at me. ‘Whatdid you just ask me?’

To be honest, I’m still not that worried about Lindsay’s fleeting, half-drunk comment, especially after I groped around my boobs and didn’t feel any lumps. And I’m completely aware of how insane and improper this is, but the whisky keeps goading me on. Plus, this guy knew when I had my first kiss … my first sexual encounter … my first orgasm. And he’s a medical man, isn’t he? It wouldn’t hurt to have some confirmation.

‘Lindsay made a comment about one of my boobs being “milkier” than the other,’ I explain, like saying these words to my best guy friend is totally normal. ‘So, I’m wondering if that means they’re uneven.’ I glance down at my black singlet.

Zac’s gaze travels to the same place and hovers there for a moment before our eyes reconnect. He sucks in a breath before looking away, and I have no idea what he’s thinking.

‘Well?’ I find myself saying. ‘I just want to know if something’s not right with them.’

He chokes out a laugh and holds his head like he has no idea where to start with me right now. I do feel bad for him, but this runaway train has left the station, and I don’t really feel like backing down.Bad Josie.

‘First of all,’ he says slowly, without looking at me, ‘a lot of women have asymmetrical breasts. Not only is it normal, but if that’s what that dude’s thinking when he’s looking at them, I’m seriously questioning his sexuality.’

‘Asymmetrical breasts?’ I parrot. ‘You’re such a medic. Just call them boobs. Or tits. Or knockers. Or melons.’

OK, I really need to stop talking now.

‘Actually, the medical term would be mammary glands,’ Zac counters before taking a large sip of whisky.

My heart is a thundering racehorse, but I fight to look relaxed. ‘God, this is a hot conversation,’ I tease. ‘What do you call sex, then?Coitus maximus?’

He swirls his glass. ‘No, that would be just coitus. Coitus maximus is a really long session of fucking.’

Blood rushes to my cheeks, and I have no hope of being articulate enough to say anything back.

‘OK then,’ is all I manage, gripping my tumbler tightly and refocusing on the TV. We sit and watch for a while, but there’s so much tension in the room that it feels like it could catch fire at any moment.

‘So that’s a no, then?’ I finally say, glancing back at him. I’m an absolute she-devil tonight. ‘You’resogrossed out at the thought of my possibly asymmetrical mammary glands that you won’t even help me confirm whether they look normal?’

Zac levels a look at me, his cheeks crimson. ‘It wouldn’t be appropriate, and you know that.’

‘Why? I’d show them to a doctor … a nurse … a massage therapist.’

‘And I’m none of those things.’

I sit forward on the edge of the couch. ‘What are you so afraid of? I’m giving you consent to look at my breasts like a medical person and tell me if they look even to you.’

‘Why don’t you just look yourself?’ he splutters. ‘Haven’t you heard of a mirror?’ He’s all red and flustered again, and I’m the only one who can save this poor man from myself.

‘Fine,’ I concede dramatically and kick my legs off the couch. ‘I’ll go now and report back. Because I know you’re dying for the answer to this.’ I stalk towards the bathroom.

‘Fuck it,’ he blurts, jumping up and draining his glass. ‘If you really want my opinion on this, as a friend and a somewhat medically trained person, I’m happy to give it to you.’

My heart threatens to beat out of my chest as he paces towards me, his cognac eyes dragging down my body before settling on my chest area.

I’m a really terrible person.

A terrible person who’s enjoying this interaction way too much.

‘Give me a look, then,’ Zac demands, the muscles in his arms bunching as he crosses them. ‘If there is some swelling, then it’s probably not a bad thing to know about so you can get it checked out.’

My tongue locks to the roof of my mouth. I haven’t even taken off my shirt and already he’s talking about swelling? ‘What do you mean? I thought you said asymmetry was normal.’

‘Well it almost always is. But just to make sure everything’s OK in there. That there’s nothing sinister going on.’

Nothing sinister.

All the excitement that has been bubbling inside my body drains away, leaving behind an icy tremor. When Zac tilts into my sightline, I realise I’m staring off into the distance.

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