He’s right; I could be a lot closer to work than this, but I’m deflating fast. ‘The network’s only paying for my apartment for two weeks. And the movers in Sydney are waiting for my address to deliver my stuff.’
‘The next one will be the one,’ he reassures me while opening my passenger door. ‘And it’s in Cooks Hill—we like that.’
I just smile uncertainly, like I have any idea where Cooks Hill is or why it’s Zac-approved.
‘What happened withyourhousemate?’ I ask a little tightly as he steers us back towards the coastal suburbs. ‘You said he’s moving out?’
He frowns at the road, taking a moment to reply. ‘I think he’s moving into his parents’ place near the beach.’
‘So … you need a housemate.’ I steal a peek at him, but he doesn’t look at me.
‘Not really. I can afford the place on my own, and to be honest, Lindsay kind of scared me off housemates for life.’
I turn my gaze to the run of car dealerships unfurling through the window. ‘Leaves out his junkie needles, does he?’
Zac goes to reply but then pauses before muttering, ‘More like he’s a nudist who thinks every night’s a Saturday night and still needs to be potty trained.’
‘Christ.’
The topic falls away, but disappointment seeps into my chest. If things between Zac and me hadn’t changed so much, surely I could have just moved in with him. We were awesome roommates throughout university who shared the housework without argument. Zac would cook and clean up afterwards, and I’d vacuum, dust and take out the rubbish. We’d alternate the bathrooms and the mopping … we even had the same taste in TV shows. The only big fight we had was when I was dating this older MBA student named Felix, who was a strict vegan and couldn’t even stand the sight of meat. I had been trying so hard to impress the guy that I foolishly asked Zac if he wouldn’t mind scheduling his cooking with meat products around Felix’s visits. Zac is such a sweet-natured guy that he obliged without protest, until Felix turned up unannounced one evening while Zac was in the middle of making pork souvlaki. Felixphysically gagged, aggressively lectured Zac in his own home, then asked me in front of Zac if we could ‘please go fuck’ because he was feeling stressed. It’s one of the only times I’ve seen Zac lose his shit. He snatched Felix’s shirt with both hands and physically shoved him out of the apartment. Zac and I had a massive blow-up over it and Felix dumped me the next day, but truthfully, losing Felix didn’t exactly break my heart.
All these years later, though, Zac makes no offer for me to move in with him. He just scopes out the letterboxes dotting a quiet tree-lined street before pulling over outside number 28.
I step out of the car and wince at the crumbling two-storey terrace that looks like it wouldn’t stand up on its own if it weren’t for the houses holding it up on either side.
‘It looks nice,’ Zac tries, and I shoot him a look.
‘It looks like a murder sce—hello!’ I say as the front door swings open. A petite, slender guy peeks out, his shoulder-length hair brushing the shoulders of his tie-dyed T-shirt.
This is the man I couldn’t find on social media. He invites us inside, where it’s so dark I can barely make out his features, and introduces himself as Davide (pronounced Dah-vid). The smell of burning Nag Champa wafts through the living room, and I turn on my feet to take in the altar of crystals, the fireplace crowded with cascading ferns, and the velvet couch draped with a crocheted rainbow blanket. I’m pretty sure I’m beingthe definition of a snob when I consider running screaming from this ramshackle share house that smells like feet. But beggars can’t be choosers—I can tough it out for half a year.
Davide is softly spoken and doesn’t look me in the eye when he explains that he works as a reiki therapist. Still, the upstairs room for rent is relatively clean and positioned at the back of the house, away from the street noise. Most importantly, he’s not bothered that I’m only going to be a tenant for six months.
My potential new housemate gives me a few minutes to think it over and squeaks back down the thousand-year-old staircase.
Just as Zac’s giving me a hesitant nod of approval, the question I wish I could ask becomes trapped in my throat.‘Are you sure you don’t want me to move in with you?’
But I can’t say that, not with all this weird distance between us. I remind myself that he only cooked me lunch today and came to my housemate appointments because we have history together, and Zac Jameson is nothing if not polite.
Overcompensating for the downheartedness that I don’t want Zac to sense, I give the rigid muscle in his arm a playful whack. ‘What do you think?’ I ask.
He runs his eyes over my face, looking unsure. ‘What doyouthink?’
‘Well, I need a place to live for six months only, and that’s not easy to find. Davide seems all right, even ifhe’s possibly stoned off his head right now, and you said the location’s good. I think this place is perfect.’
It’s our friendship that’s broken.
‘Then it sounds like you’re moving in.’
Zac slips through the door with no further comment, leaving my heart sinking into my stomach. In twenty-two months, I feel like we’ve lost fourteen years of friendship.
I’m just not sure that Zac even cares.
CHAPTER 5
Eight years ago
I rest my rusty bike against the hallway wall, then wedge my key into the apartment door lock and summon the strength of a hammer-throw champion to twist it open.