Page 106 of Love, Just In

ZAC:I’m sorry to hear that, but of course it’s your decision.

Just know I’m still happy to come with you when you decide to go (which I hope will be soon).

ME:Thank you.

ME:How are you doing?

I stalk my phone, but this time he takes ten minutes to reply.

ZAC:I’ve seen better days.

ME:Me too.

When he goes silent, I send another message.

ME:I miss you.

My stomach dips and dives while I wait for his reply. Several painfully long minutes pass before an alert pings that he’s ‘liked’ the message, but nothing else follows.

After overanalysing that in my head for a good fifteen minutes, I mope out to the living room, finding Christina watching a documentary about the French Revolution.

‘Hey,’ she says with a smile.

‘Hey.’ I flop beside her and hand her my phone, the message chat with Zac still open. ‘So, I told him I missedhim, and he just “liked” the message instead of replying. What do you think that means?’

She reads through the messages before her eyes widen a fraction.

I snatch the phone back. ‘It’s the kiss of death, isn’t it?’

‘He probably doesn’t know what to say back,’ she offers. ‘It doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the same way.’

But as I stare at Zac’s lack of response to my message, a horrible feeling grips my lungs, suffocating me.

‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ I say, catching my head in my hands.

Christina reaches out to stroke my arm. ‘Nobody does who’s in love.’

I keep my palm pressed to my forehead as I look back at her. ‘In love?’

One side of her mouth slants up. ‘I can see it in your eyes, Josie. You’re mad about him.’

I blink at her. ‘I feel hideous. Like I could actually vomit. I’ve never felt this way about a guy.’

She chuckles softly. ‘The classic symptoms of love. And I don’t mean friendship love, not even best friend love. This is romantic love.’

I sigh into my hands. ‘I can’t believe this is happening. Out of all the men I pictured myself feeling this way about, none of them was anything like Zac.’

She shifts to face me. ‘And what were they like?’

The words fill my head instantly.Corporate, fancy, wealthy.God, yuck. How unforgivably superficial. No wonder I’ve been locked up in singledom prison forever—it’s what I’ve deserved.

I try to make sense of it all to Christina. ‘I guess the men I’d imagined being with were more like my sister’s husband or your husband—and don’t take that the wrong way. What I mean is, I’ve always felt like I have to have “the perfect job” and “the perfect man”. Someone successful and distinguished. Someone who lives in a big city and works in the corporate world and fits into this life.’ I wave a hand at her priceless Sydney home.

A laugh sneaks out of her, and I narrow my eyes.

She lays a hand on my knee. ‘Darling, I’m not making fun of you. But I am thinking that you might be confused about why Pete and I are together. It’s got nothing to do with our jobs, our lifestyle or our home. Yes, I love living here, but you also know I buy most of my clothes from op shops. Pete and I aren’t together for money or status; it’s because we love each other. Because we couldn’t bear to be apart. Because we make each other feel wonderful and supported. We could be living on the street and we’d still be together. In fact, we became a couple long before all this.’ It’s her turn to wave a hand at the room. ‘So, instead of this checklist you’ve had in your head, why don’t you tell me a little more about Zac?’

The question wraps me in a warm blanket, and my lips twist up. ‘He’s a hard person to describe. He’s really not what you’d call “fancy”, but just for the record, I’m hugely proud of what he does for a living—I think it’s amazing. His medical knowledge is incredible.’ She smiles as I continue. ‘He’s very real,very unpretentious, very smart, very thoughtful andverykind.’ I could go on for hours, but I spare Christina and stop there.

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