Page 56 of Love, Just In

‘I’m sorry,’ he says, emotion filling his eyes. ‘And I’m also fucking sorry about what I said tonight. I didn’t mean that thing about evening entertainment. I can’t tell you how stressed out I was at that moment.’

‘It’s OK. There’s definitely an element of that. But it’s also news, and I was just doing my job. I didn’t film the children or the family, or try to interview them.’

His brows pull together. ‘You don’t have to justify anything to me. I think you’re amazing at your job.’

His warm hand is still cupped over mine, and I note how his chest is rising and falling in tandem with my own.

‘You did brilliantly tonight,’ I reassure him right back, scared he’ll pull away from me.

With that, he heaves a sigh and lets go of my hand, reaching for his beer. ‘We did OK. Things could’ve been done better. The supervisor calling the shots tonight had no clue. He’s all process this and process that, with no humanity whatsoever, no empathy.’

I rest my elbows against the counter, absorbing the download Zac clearly needs.

‘I get that we need to go for the most salvageable person first,’ he continues, ‘but it’s not always easy to tell who that is. There’ll be a debrief next week for sure about this one and the shit that went wrong. To be honest, I can’t wait to say my piece.’ He downs what’s left of his beer.

‘You know, I never told you this,’ I say, ‘but I read some of the report you had on your desk about moreempathy being needed in paramedic practice. I hope you don’t mind. And while I’m no expert, you know I read medical stuff for work, and it made a lot of sense to me. It was really impressive.’

One side of his mouth quirks. ‘I should’ve known that nothing’s off-limits when you live with a reporter.’

I give him a half-hearted smile, and our gazes catch and hold.

‘How did you really go tonight?’ I probe gently. ‘I know you only recently felt ready to go back out in the field, and this was …’ I shake my head.

‘Full-on, I know. But I actually feel good about how I handled it. I was really focused and calm for the most part.’ He inhales deeply. ‘I think I should apply for that critical care job. They haven’t filled it yet, and after today, I feel like I really am ready.’

My lips pull up. ‘That’s great. I’m sure you’ll get it.’

‘Thanks, Jose. But if I do, it’ll probably mean dealing with some pretty serious car accidents, and you know that’s a whole ’nother story.’

My body stiffens as he looks at me, his eyes seeming to ask for help. Like I might have the answers on how to repair the damage to his soul after what happened with Tara.

‘Oh, Zac,’ is all I can get out as I place my hand over his. I can’t seem to stop touching him tonight.

This time, he turns his hand and brings our palms together, a shiver of electricity rushing into my skin as I instinctively wrap my fingers around his. His gazeclings to mine before it slips down to my lips, and my heart rate triples in pace.

But then his hand parts from mine and he steps back, swallowing tightly.

‘I’m going to have a shower,’ he says, his eyes now everywhere but me.

It’s certainly not an invitation to join him, and I can’t believe that thought even occurred to me as I watch him disappear into the bathroom, a little lost as to what just happened.

I’m on the couch with a beer, surfing through channels, when Zac emerges in light-grey trackpants and a white T-shirt, his damp curls flopping over his head.

‘What do you feel like watching?’ I ask.

It takes him a moment to reply. ‘Um, I told Meghan I’d go over to hers tonight. I want to go for a surf near her place in the morning.’

‘Oh.’ I pin my gaze to the TV, my heart sinking.

Josie, he has a girlfriend. And you know her. And he’s your freaking best friend!If Zac wasn’t standing in the room, I’d catch my face in my hands. I have no idea what’s gotten into my head. I’m clearly emotional from the fire.

After a few minutes, he drops onto the couch beside me, gripping another beer. ‘I just texted her and said I’m gonna stay home. I don’t really feel like seeing anyone after today.’

‘Do you want me to go out?’ I offer. ‘So that you can be alone?’

‘You don’t count,’ he says with a sideways smirk like I should know that.

I choose to take that as a compliment and nestle into the cushions, flicking through TV channels before we settle on an Australian music marathon.

---