Page 98 of Give Me a Reason

She nodded. “Rather than having the words float away as soon as you speak them.”

“I thought you were being a nerdy English major when youfirst asked me to write you a letter.” Frederick smiled at the memory.

“You gaped at me for a full minute.” The tender affection in her faraway gaze wrenched his heart.

“Then I asked you, ‘You want me to email you?’” He rubbed the back of his head with an embarrassed cringe.

“You looked horrified when I said it had to be a handwritten letter.” She laughed softly, meeting his eyes again.

“I was afraid you were going to tell me I had tomailit to you.” His blood pounded in his ears as he reached for the envelope he’d placed by the side table and held it out to her with an unsteady hand. “But all I had to do was hand it to you.”

“Were you…” Anne took the envelope and exhaled a shuddering breath. “Why were you leaving earlier? When I ran into you outside.”

“I thought you might need space to read the letter. In case…” Frederick traced the delicate veins on her hand with his fingertips, not having the courage to hold her gaze. He dragged in a lungful of air and bared his soul. “I was afraid of what you might say… afraid of making you say it to my face. You are so kind, Anne. I didn’t want to put you in a position to say something difficult. Something that would hurt you because you knew it would hurt me. The last thing I want is to cause you pain.”

“Do you still…” She closed her eyes, biting her lip. “Do you still want to leave?”

“I’m sorry.” With the pad of his thumb, he tugged her lip free from her teeth. “I can’t. Now that you’re here… now that I’m with you, I don’t have the strength to leave your side. But I’ll try my best not to intrude. Take as long as you need to read the letter. Think and feel as long as you need. Then you can decide.”

“Oh, Frederick.” Her eyes filled with tears, and the tip of her nose turned red. A shudder ran through him, uncertain what her tears meant… hopeful that she still felt something for him.

“Please don’t cry.” He ran the back of his finger down the bridge of her nose. “I’m not being noble. I just want to give myself the best chance of hearing the answer I want. I’m… I’m terrified, Anne. But I won’t leave until you tell me to.” When Anne opened her mouth, he rushed to press his fingertips over her lips. “Don’t say anything. Not yet. Read my letter, then we can talk.”

Frederick walked over to the other end of the room and lowered himself onto the armchair beside her bed. If he just sat there and waited, she would feel pressured to hurry. It was impossible to hide the restless energy of someone who was activelywaiting. So he popped in his earbuds, hit Play on his favorite playlist, and closed his eyes—willing his body to relax.

And he did his best not to wait for the rest of his life to begin.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Icame for you, Anne.

Frederick came all the way to England for her. She could hardly believe it. She wasn’t sure what to think. All she knew was that he was here, and her heart soared no matter how hard she tried to temper her expectations.

He sat at the other side of the room with his eyes closed, looking calm and at peace. He looked too big for her tower room, strong even in repose. And it took every ounce of her willpower not to run across the room and throw herself at him.

But his letter was such a precious thing. She couldn’t wait another minute to read it—the words from his heart. She fumbled with the envelope as she withdrew the letter with shaking hands. Her breathing sounded loud in her ears, and she blinked to clear her teary eyes. After several deep breaths, Anne unfolded the letter.

Dear Anne,

My heart has belonged to no one but you. You are my past, present, and future—my dream come to life. I’m helplessly, completely, irreversibly yours.

Yours and yours alone.

Please tell me I’m not too late. Tell me my pride, anger, and resentment haven’t kept me away from you for too long. I don’tknow what I did to deserve a second chance, but I’ll take it. Just tell me I haven’t blown it.

I was so afraid of having my heart broken again that I lied to myself that my love for you ended ten years ago. But my heart is stronger than I am, and my love never faltered. In my heart, I never stopped loving you, Anne.

Please tell me there is hope left for us.

I love you with everything I am, with everything I’ll ever be. I don’t deserve someone as perfect as you, but your happiness will be the reason I breathe, if only you’ll have me. Let me stay by your side, and I’ll become someone who deserves you because you have always made me better.

I love you, Anne. I always will.

But if you don’t feel the same way, please tell me now. I’m torn between hope and agony. I need to know. If you tell me there’s no hope left for us, I’ll let you go. I’ll do my best. And I’ll try to find peace, knowing that I fought for you with everything in me.

Forever yours,

Frederick

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