Page 43 of Give Me a Reason

“None,” Anne said distractedly. “How about you?”

“I lost count.” Tessa grinned. “But don’t worry. I’m gonna crash at Appa’s house for the night.”

After a quick hug, Anne hurried to her car and dialed Katie’s number. It was so rude to call someone she barely knew on Christmas night, but this was an emergency. Something told her if she didn’t speak with Frederick tonight, he would be lost forever.

“Hello?” Katie sounded wary.

“Hi, Katie. This is Anne,” she said in a rush, worried the other woman might hang up. “I’m so sorry to bother you on Christmas. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Anne? Hey, you.” Katie laughed lightly, not at all put off by her out-of-the-blue call. “Sorry, I thought you were a spam caller. And no, you aren’t interrupting anything. Pete and I were about to hunker down to binge-watch some K-drama. What’s up?”

“I know this is random and weird. Feel free to say no—”

“Girl, just ask me what you called to ask,” Katie chided gently. “There’s no need for a lengthy preamble. Didn’t you find out firsthand on Thanksgiving that I’m as blunt as a club?”

“Do you know where Frederick lives?” Anne blurted. “I… I’m not going to break his heart. I promise. I only want to apologize properly and explain… He deserves to know…”

“I just sent you his contact info. It has his cell phone number, station direct line, personal and work email addresses, and home address. And it has his birthday as well, but I have a feeling you already know when that is.” There was some furious whisperingin the background. “Privacy, my ass. I know what I’m doing, Pete. He’s my friend, too. Sorry, Anne.”

“No, that’s okay.” Anne punched Frederick’s address into her navigation system. He lived in Culver City, not far from the fire station. “Thank you for trusting me, Katie.”

“It’s more hope than trust.” Katie sighed. “Just… good luck.”

“I’ll need it.” Anne pulled away from the curb, staying under the speed limit through sheer force of will.

She arrived at Culver City in about thirty minutes—traffic was nonexistent on Christmas night, a rare and special gift—and squinted at a row of single-family homes as she drove slowly past them. Even with the streetlamps, she had a hard time seeing the house numbers.

When she spotted Frederick’s black SUV in the driveway of a modern, two-story house, she sighed in relief and parked her car by the curb. She leaned toward her windshield to get a better look at his house.

She’d always found the combination of concrete, metal, and glass of modern buildings rather cold and austere. But the simple, elegant lines and the minimalistic use of rich wood panels on his house made it welcoming, like an oasis. It was a beautiful home.

Frederick had obviously done well for himself, and she felt a vicious stab of vindication that her aunt had been sorely mistaken when she’d said he wouldn’t amount to anything. But before bitterness could consume her, she remembered how forlorn Auntie Sharon had looked, sitting on the floor of Coraline’s room.

Anne covered her eyes with her hand, hissing out a pained sigh. What happened… happened. She couldn’t change the past, but she could right some of her mistakes, starting with telling Frederick the whole truth about why she’d had to go to Korea. She hadn’t wanted to burden him with her troubles whenshe was already breaking his heart. But she realized that her half-truths might have made his broken heart fester for all these years.

She saw the trauma resurface on his face when he realized who Auntie Sharon was. It more than confirmed that his wound had not healed—or had not healed right. Frederick might be as shocked as Anne at how shaken seeing her aunt made him feel. She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed thickly.

Did Frederick really think she left him because she agreed with her aunt? That she thought he wasn’t good enough for her? How could he possibly believe she would betray him at such a fundamental level? She huffed a humorless laugh. She had no right to feel hurt. Shelefthim. Why wouldn’t he believe the worst of her? But for his sake, she prayed that wasn’t the case.

Anne couldn’t risk even a small chance of him believing that. She hadneveragreed with Auntie Sharon’s opinion of Frederick. Not for a second. It had never been about him not being good enough for her. The idea wasludicrous. He was amazing. He had always been amazing. The only reason she was able to leave him was because she thought it was the best way she could love him.

But maybethatin and of itself was a betrayal, because she hadn’t believed he loved her as much as she loved him. She was afraid he would come to resent her if he left everything behind for her, even though she would never have resented him if she had done the same. If the tables were turned, she would’ve sacrificed everything to be with him. And she finally understood that he would’ve given everything as well. By refusing him and taking the choice away from him, she had disrespected him and his love. She had sulliedtheirlove.

How could I have messed up so badly?Anne pressed her forehead against the steering wheel.You were young, Anne. You didn’t know any better.She bit back a sob. That didn’t change the fact that she might haveruinedthe only man she had ever loved.No.Frederick wasn’t ruined. He was just hurting. He could heal.

Anne straightened in her seat and lifted her chin. She had to fix this. Shewouldset this right. Once she did—once he stopped hurting—thenshe might give herself some grace.

She had no illusions about obtaining his forgiveness. Not anymore. Not from this. But she would not leave his house until he understood what he’d meant to her. And that she finally understood how very wrong she’d been.

Determination hastened her footsteps as she approached his front porch. And she raised a shaking hand to the door and knocked sharply before she could second-guess herself. The door swung open quicker than she’d expected, and her hand fluttered to her throat in surprise.

The house behind Frederick was dark, but the soft glow of the streetlamps illuminated the harsh lines of his stark expression. When he caught sight of her, his eyes flashed with devastation and longing that had her instantly breathless, even if she didn’t understand what it meant.

“Frederick—”

A sharp gasp cut off her words when his hand shot out to grab her arm. He pulled her toward him with a rough tug, and she stumbled into his dark house… and into his arms.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

---