Page 5 of Give Me a Reason

Back in the classroom, Anne drew on all her training and experience as an actor to look calm and collected as she reclaimed the little plastic chair she’d vacated a few minutes ago. The children were now sitting at their desks, listening to their teacher explain how to add double-digit numbers. She vaguely noticed how patient Bethany was with them.

On the inside, Anne was anything but calm. What had Frederick been about to say to her? It didn’t matter. She threaded her fingers together and clenched them tightly enough to hurt. They had nothing left to say to each other. The only thing remaining between them was pain that should’ve been forgotten long ago, no matter how she wished things could’ve been different. She finally understood that now.

Frederick Nam was done with her. And that was for the best.

CHAPTER TWO

Frederick instinctively stumbled after Anne, his stomach sinking at the sight of her retreating back, but he stopped himself short after several panic-stricken steps. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he chasingafterher? He was the one who chased herawayin the first place.

And yet, he couldn’t stop staring after her. He stood rooted to the spot, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, until she disappeared into Ms. Hong’s classroom.

Only then did the trance finally break.

He all but ran toward the parking lot, tugging on his shirt collar, which dug into his throat like it had shrunk two sizes. The air felt both too thick and too thin. No matter how many breaths he took, he couldn’t fill his lungs.

Why was she so skinny? And she looked so pale and tired. Had she been putting her needs last to meet the expectations of others? She had a habit of doing that without even realizing it. He’d been trying to break that bad habit of hers when she…

He growled in frustration and lengthened his strides. It didn’t matter whether she was too thin or not. He didn’t care if she put herself last. She wasn’t his to worry about. She hadn’t been for ten years.

His car door whined in protest when he jerked it open with unnecessary force. What the hell was she doing in the US anyway?He dropped into the driver’s seat, his heart pounding against his rib cage, and wearily tugged the door shut.

It had taken more effort than he cared to admit to not chase after her back there. The tip of her nose had turned pink like it did when she was fighting back tears.Fuck.He held out his hands in front of him. They were shaking.Shehad been shaking.

He fumbled with his keys and started the car. Everything about her seemed muted—even her long black hair had lost its silken sheen—like something had leached away her vibrancy. She hadn’t thrived without him. A vicious spike of satisfaction shot through him, but his chest twisted into an aching knot with emotions he couldn’t face.

Live your life, Frederick.

She’d made it sound so simple. Maybe she had wanted to believe he would just go on with his life after she left him. Would she still have gone if she’d foreseen the wreckage she left behind?

“Shit.” He plowed his fingers through his hair.

Instinct told him to floor it and screech out of the parking lot—to get as far away from her, as fast as possible—but he couldn’t endanger children in his hurry to escape. Besides, there was no running from his own thoughts.

He had to stop acting like he’d seen a ghost. He had to stop acting like she meant something to him. She—God, he couldn’t eventhinkher name—meant nothing to him. FuckingAnne Leemeant nothing to him. Not anymore.

The hurt in her eyes… He ruthlessly crushed the guilt threatening to grip his insides. He was angry. He had every right to be.Shewas the one who had no right to be hurt even if he acted like an asshole.

Frederick leaned back on the headrest and closed his eyes. He had both dreaded and dreamed of seeing Anne for years after she’d left him. On some days, he imagined winning her back, so she would smile her gentle, secret smile for him. On other days,he dreamed about rubbing her face in his success—he’d gone into finance initially, earning a disgusting amount of money—and making her regret leaving him.

But as the days turned into months and months into years, he’d forgotten her. Yes, he’d forgotten her. He stopped living to win her back—or to get back at her. He learned to live for himself again. It took years, but he did it. He left Wall Street and became a firefighter. He wanted to do something good and worthwhile with his life.

Eventually, his broken heart mended itself—the cracks were practically invisible as long as he didn’t look too closely. He’d even forgotten his anger… until he ran into her today. Now he recalled his rage all too well. Rage, not hurt. He couldn’t still hurt after all these years.

Blowing out a long breath, he drove out of the parking lot and headed straight for the station even though there was no reason to rush. Despite what he’d said to Anne, he wasn’t in a hurry.

Participating in community events, including giving talks at local schools, was part of his job. And he had no doubt his lieutenant, Joe Alvarez, had handled the morning truck check and briefing without a hitch.

The only real rush here was Frederick. He didn’t want to sit alone with his thoughts for a second longer.Get a grip, Nam. It wasn’t as though Anne Lee was back in his life. He merely ran into her this once—a strange and cruel coincidence. There was no reason to believe it would happen again.

He wiped a hand down his face and checked the clock on the dashboard. It was still early. He’d hightailed it out of the classroom without even doing a Q&A session. He shook his head with an embarrassed grimace.

But he was relieved he would have time to hit the station gym. He needed to shake this off before his meeting with the battalion chief, Pete Lin. He was Frederick’s closest friend, butthis was their job. Being less than professional would be an insult to them both.

Keeping his mind a careful blank, Frederick drove the rest of the way on autopilot. By the time he parked at the station, his hands had stopped shaking. His body had finally caught up with the fact that running into Anne Lee after a decade was not a big deal.

As he walked into the apparatus bay, the familiar din of his crew finishing up their morning routine surrounded him.

“Enough bickering, rookies,” Joe bellowed, his deep voice echoing off the walls of the cavernous bay. “You can top off the gas for the chain sawstogether.”

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