Page 11 of Booked on a Feeling

“I snuck in while you were helping another customer.” She grinned at Hideaway Bookstore’s esteemed owner, who looked as stylish as ever in a pair of dark-wash jeans and a black flowy tunic. “Was he looking for a particular book?”

The older woman’s sigh and the weary droop of her shoulders told Lizzy it was a bit more complicated than that. “More like a bookstore.”

“What do you mean, Bev?” Unease prickled at the back of her neck.

“When you’re young, your body feels like a natural extension of your mind.” She chuckled at Lizzy’s perplexed expression. “It’strue. You think to yourself,I should put this book away,and your body does your bidding effortlessly.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Lizzy said slowly.

“At my age, you feel every bone, every muscle. You can’tnotbe conscious of your every movement. Sometimes I feel like my mind is a puppeteer, trying to steer a clunky, creaky puppet to do the simplest tasks.”

“That must be challenging.” Lizzy didn’t know what else to say without sounding supercilious. She couldn’t claim to understand what it felt like to grow old.

“You must think I’m trying to scare you about the perils of old age.” Beverly laughed again, waving a hand. “All I’m saying is that I can’t do this forever.”

“Do what forever?” Of course she knew what her friend meant, but she didn’t want to contemplate the possibility. The bookstore wouldn’t be the same without Bev. She wanted her favorite place in the world to stay suspended in time and always be there for her. But when the older woman leveled Lizzy with her bullshit-buster stare, she blushed, and her brief impulse to bury her head in the sand passed. “Are you… are you planning to sell Hideaway?”

“Eventually.” Beverly gently squeezed her hand. “I’m not saying I’m going to retire next month, but I’m floating the idea around to test the waters.”

“So that man you were talking to was interested in buying the bookstore?” Lizzy swallowed the lump of apprehension in her throat.

“Yes,” she scoffed, clearly affronted, “but I think he was scoping out the space to turn it into yet another café.”

Lizzy gasped, a hand fluttering to her mouth. “Hideaway won’t be the same without you, Bev, but having it turned into something other than a bookstore is unthinkable.”

The thought of losing both Beverly and Hideaway Bookstore devastated her. Without this safe haven, she would feel truly alone in this big city.

“Don’t you worry. I’m holding out until I find someone who wants to take over the bookstore.”

The cheery bell over the door jingled before Lizzy could ask more questions. After giving her a reassuring smile, Beverly pushed herself off the couch and headed to the front of the store.

Lizzy gathered up her purse and went to tuckPride and Prejudiceback in its rightful place. Then she wandered to the romance section to read the back covers of all the new releases. There were at least three that she was dying to read, but she promised herself not to buy any more books until she put a dent in her to-be-read pile. She didn’t have much time to read for fun, but when she did, she always turned to her favorite genre—romance. Sure, it was a nice escape, but it was more than that. Those stories healed something inside her and made her feel less alone.

She pulled out her phone to see if Jack had responded to her last text. He had. He sent her a silly GIF of two animated bears holding hands and dancing in circles with the wordsBest Friends Foreverblinking on the bottom. She giggled and put her phone away. Beverly was with the customer who’d just come in, so Lizzy caught her eyes and waved before she let herself out of the store.

The sun still hung low in the sky, and she turned up her face toward it. She would normally be in her office at this hour, but today wasn’t just any other day. It was the day she’d won her first trial. She waited silently tofeelsomething. But her heart beat on at its leisurely pace, and her cheek muscles stayed relaxed instead of pulling into a gigantic grin. The elusive thrill of the win continued to slip through her fingers.

She checked the parking meter before she slid into the driver’s seat. Some lucky person was about to get fifteen minutes of free parking. She started her engine and contemplated going back into the office for a split second. Even that split second made her feel like a loser.I mean, come on.Did she really have nothing better to do on her big day than to go back into work? There was more to her life—more toher—than just her job. There had to be.

Lizzy put her game face on. She may not have been jumping for joy, but goddamn it, she was going to celebrate. She pulled out of the coveted Larchmont parking space with purpose and headed toward Koreatown.

With a tenacity true to her Korean American heritage, Lizzy refused to valet in front of her favorite restaurant and found street parking after twenty minutes. After she ordered bosam—braised pork belly with all the fixings for veggie-wrapped goodness—she walked down the block to a boba café and got herself a large milk tea with golden boba.

The awesome thing about Koreatown was that once you scored some street parking, you could find everything you needed within walking distance. So she headed next to a Korean-French bakery and bought herself an eight-inch strawberry cream cake. By the time she loaded her boba tea and cake in her car and walked back to the restaurant, her bosam platter was ready.

Her one-bedroom condo in downtown LA was only a couple of miles from the edge of Koreatown, so her dinner was still warm and her tea and cake were still cold when she let herself inside. She trudged straight for the kitchen to unload her bounty before she slipped off her court-day high heels.

After changing into her favorite retro Wonder Woman T-shirt and stretchy pants, she sat down at the dining table. Herface split into a gluttonous grin, and she dug into her bosam. She gently laid a piece of salted napa cabbage on her palm and lovingly put a slice of pork belly on top. Next came the shredded radish kimchi, salted shrimp sauce, and a piece of pickled jalapeño. After carefully folding in the front and end of the napa cabbage to make a pork belly bundle, she popped the whole thing into her mouth with gusto.

There was so much food in her mouth that she could hardly chew, but it was worth the effort. The harmony of the crunchy and chewy textures, the salty, savory flavor of the pork and shrimp sauce, and the kick of heat from the radish kimchi and jalapeño were a symphony in her mouth. It was perfection. No. Not yet. Still chewing, she ran to her fridge and grabbed a bottle of makgeolli, a fermented, unfiltered rice wine, and ran right back to her seat with a small bowl. She poured herself a generous amount and washed her bosam down with the cold makgeolli. Now it was perfection.

She hummed and danced in her seat as she built bundle after bundle of pork belly bosam until she couldn’t eat another bite. She downed the last of the makgeolli and cleared the table. Happily buzzing, she grabbed her cake and boba tea from the fridge and set them down on the coffee table. She couldn’t eat another bite ofsavoryfood, but she had a separate stomach forsweets.

And what was a solo celebration without some Netflix? The best movie pairing for dessert was a sweet movie.To All the Boys I’ve Loved Beforeit was. She’d watched it only six times before. With a contented sigh, she sat down on her cushy sofa and tucked her feet beneath her.

The cake tasted so good with the movie that Lizzy ate a third of it by the time the credits were rolling. Her buzz was wearing off, but it was replaced by a sugar high. This was much neededself-care—something she’d neglected to do in ages. When was the last time she’d left work early? She couldn’t remember a single instance in the last year. When was the last time she’d pampered herself? If takeout sushi from Little Tokyo counted, then maybe a month ago. But does the fact that she ate it at her desk while working late nullify the pampering effect?

Refusing to allow these troubling reflections to ruin her self-care bonanza, she trotted to the bathroom and ran herself a mango-coconut bubble bath. She lit her favorite vanilla and jasmine votives and stripped naked. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she gave her body a quick scan. She shrugged and lowered herself into the slightly hot water.Not bad for a thirty-year-old with not enough time to exercise.

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