“I’ve been gone for nearly a month. I certainly hope you did something during that time,” Aubrey said lightly, trying to put Tara at ease.
“I met someone…”
“What? Who? When?” Aubrey stopped herself and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. So you met someone.”
“I met someone wonderful.”
Aubrey bit her lips, but managed to remain silent.
“We spent almost a month together and it was incredible. I’ll never forget it.”
“Itwas? What happened, Tara?”
“We agreed to go on four dates, and he dared me not to fall in love with him,” Tara said, as tears streamed down her face like pouring rain against a windshield. “I laughed at him. He was ridiculously cocky, and I don’t do love, as you know. I told him it won’t be a problem, and made him agree not to fall in love with me either.”
Aubrey nodded slowly as though she was processing every odd detail Tara revealed.
“I kept my end of the bargain. I cared for him more than I’ve cared for any other man, and I knew I would be heartbroken when he left, but I didn’t allow myself to fall in love with him. He filled my world with life and color, but I still didn’t fall in love with him.” Tara’s voice rose as she tried to convince herself with her words. “But he went and ruined everything. He fell in love with me. He wants forever with me. He said he would give up his dream to stay with me.”
“Oh, my God, Tara. It sounds like he really loves you. I know you’re afraid to love again, but Jason was a goddamn abusive asshole. Youknownot everyone is like that.” Aubrey smoothed back Tara’s hair from her clammy forehead, and squeezed her hand tightly. “Look at Landon. Look at your brothers. Look at Seth. There aregoodmen out there. It sounds like your guy is one of them. You might’ve finally found someone who really deserves you.”
“But what if I’m not good enough for him? If he gives up his dream to stay with me, how am I different from Jason? I would be demanding him to sacrifice who he is. I would be controlling his life, using his love against him. Sooner or later, he’s going to hate me for it.”
“Did you ever ask him to stay with you? To give up his dream?” Aubrey asked.
“No…”
“He’s made his choice, and he chose you. You didn’tdoanything to him other than being yourself. You never tried to manipulate him or control him. Tara, it’s his choice and he has every right to make his own decisions.”
Tara heard Aubrey’s words, but they failed to register. She was broken, and being with her was going to ruin Seth just as Jason had ruined her. She’d done the right thing. She gave him his freedom. Nothing was holding him back from following his dreams now.
“It’s too late now anyways,” Tara said hollowly. “I told him I didn’t love him. That I will never love him.”
“Oh, Tara. Did you mean that?”
“I don’t know.”
Then why did it feel like the world was crumbling down around her? Why did it feel as though she was being torn apart cell by cell? She broke his heart. She hurt him. And it hurt her even more.But why?
Because I love him.
Tara couldn’t hide from it anymore. She was hurting because she hurt the man she loved. She couldn’t stand to think that he was hurting as much as she was.Oh, God.She loved him, and when she broke his heart, she broke hers as well.
“Seth.”
“Yes,” he said, turning toward the door. “What’s up?”
“Is everything all right?” Landon asked. “I had to call you three times before you looked up.”
“Sorry,” he said, closing his laptop. He had just moved up his flight to the next morning. There was no point in staying here any longer. He was only torturing himself. “My mind was literally miles away.”
“So how are you feeling about the move? Excited?” Landon walked farther into the guest bedroom.
Hating to lie to his brother, Seth shrugged his shoulders. “Did you have a chance to check out the website? What do you think?”
“It’s better than I could’ve imagined. I like to just go there and stare at the pictures sometimes.” Landon laughed. “I really appreciate all the effort you put into it. Thank you, little bro.”
“You should thank Tara, too. She was a huge help. Did you know she majored in graphic design?”