Page 29 of A Sweet Mess

“Is what why?” Landon wasn’t sure he’d heard her right. Her lashes fluttered, and she focused her brown eyes on him.

“You didn’t want to turn something you love so much into the dreaded four-letter word—work.”

Landon’s hands stilled at her words.Something you love so much.She saw so much of him in something as inconsequential as tossing together an omelet. He couldn’t decide whether he feltseenor exposed.

“People say when something you enjoy becomes your full-time job, the joy gets sucked out of it.”

“You may be onto something,” he said, avoiding her question.

“Well, those people don’t know diddly-squat. Nothing could take away your love for cooking as long as you don’t lose sight of what’s important. Every time you cook, you have to remember you’re nourishing people. Making them happy.” She scrunched her nose as though searching for the right words. “If you cook for your customers with that in mind, then your love for cooking won’t be stifled.Workonly becomes a vile word when your goals change to money or fame or whatever else the world entices you with.”

Even family.

He’dhadto give up his dream—he’d had no other choice. Money and fame were never part of his goals, but life had stifled his love of cooking. He flinched as flickers of resentment against his family wove through his thoughts.No.His mother and Seth were not to blame for his choices. It was his decision, and he refused to regret it.

“I’m completely humbled, Ms. Choi. You truly are full of wise, grown-up advice.” Hurt flashed in her eyes at his cynicism before she blinked it away.Damn it. What the hell is wrong with me?

Aubrey winked with forced humor. “You’re learning, Grasshopper.”

Her gentle teasing chastised him more effectively than a long lecture. Aubrey really was the grown-up between them. He opened his mouth to apologize for being a dick, but she wasn’t done with him.

“Why did you stop cooking, Landon?” Her wide, calm eyes bored into his soul.

“We, my family, immigrated to the States when I was three. My father wanted more for his family.” He swallowed, trying to hold his words back, but he couldn’t stop the truth from spilling over. “A few years later, my parents bought a small house with a backyard. It had a big, sturdy tree to one side where my dad hung a swing. I spent all day in that backyard, becoming permanently muddy and scruffy. Then my little brother came along, and my life was perfect.”

“You had a beautiful childhood.” Aubrey waited for him to continue, wearing a wistful smile. She didn’t seem to mind that his response didn’t answer her question, and she realized he had more to say.

Landon brought out a bottle of chilled chardonnay and raised it in question. Aubrey shook her head and pointed at her sparkling water. He poured himself a glass while he gathered his thoughts.

“We had everything we needed, but my dad still wanted more. He dreamed up one scheme after another. ‘To hit it big,’ he’d say. Whatever he did, right or wrong, I hero-worshipped him. He was this strong, handsome man with faraway eyes and a booming voice filled with promises. I thought he made the world go around.Myworld, at least.” Landon twirled his wineglass and watched the pale, gold liquid spin into a micro tornado. “Of course, his plans never panned out. They just got more expensive and outrageous after each failed attempt. Still, I believed that he would set everything right.”

“Oh, Landon.” She covered his hand with her own. Her sympathy washed over him like warm, tropical rain, improbably melting away layers of loss and guilt.

“By the time I was in high school, I worked odd jobs at restaurants to help out. My mom was working herself to an early grave to provide for our family while my father spent every centshe managed to save.” The usual burn of betrayal and disappointed tore through him, but he felt stronger against it. Almost as though he could drown it out someday. “But I was lucky. I ended up falling in love with cooking. I worked as a line cook and moved up quickly, and then I created a food blog, writing about the chaos of a restaurant kitchen and the beautiful dishes born from its depth. I did well enough to give my mom a few hundred dollars a month and support myself through the CIA.”

“Balancing all that must’ve been draining.” Her hand tightened around his.

“It was worth it.” After everything, it had truly been worth it. The memory brought a fond smile to his face. “By the time I finished my degree, the stars lined up for me. My blog was doing well, and I was offered a sous chef position at David Ferrand’s restaurant in Oregon. It was a dream come true.”

“What happened?” she whispered.

“My old man. He piled up debt as high as Kilimanjaro. Our house was mortgaged out, and with his latest bust, we were about to lose it. I couldn’t bear to watch the house being taken away from my mother. She loved that house. She talked about growing old in it and having me and my brother visit with our own families someday.” Landon found and held Aubrey’s gaze, letting her anchor him. “I searched for ways to keep the house, but I found out my dad had dug himself into a hole too deep to crawl out of. He knew it, too, so he took off and left us to clean up his mess.”

“Your hero should never let you down so thoroughly. You must’ve been devastated. I’m so sorry, Landon.”

“I couldn’t afford to feel sorry for myself. Mom and Seth needed me, so I did what had to be done. I refused Ferrand’s offer and sold my blog to the highest bidder. I made enough money to pay off my father’s debts and buy the house outrightfor my mom. That’s how I traded in my kitchen knife for a mighty pen.” His old wound seeped blood, and his voice came out a hoarse whisper. “I haven’t cooked since then. For anyone.”

Except you.His unspoken confession rang out between them, but his emotions were too raw and muddled to facewhy.

“Well, you have to make up for lost time.” Aubrey said with a tremulous smile. “My dinner, please, Chef.”

“Coming right up,” he said as a boulder slid off his chest.

Relief coursed through him, and a stupid grin took over his face. He didn’t understand his feelings, but at least he knew how to feed her.Because that’s what chefs do.

9

Since Landon walked into Weldon Brewery, Aubrey’s nights had been filled with vivid dreams of him, which left her spent. She’d all but forgotten what a good night’s sleep felt like.Well, it feels fan-freaking-tastic.She remembered her head touching the down pillow last night, and when she opened her eyes, it was morning. She’d gotten eight hours of dreamless sleep.

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