Page 51 of No Mistress Of Mine

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That took her back a bit. “The woman sitting next to you isn’t Lady Georgiana Prescott? Black hair,” she added as he shook his head. “Strands of pearls round her neck, midnight blue evening gown. Well, who is she, then?” she demanded, as he continued to shake his head.

“Jealous?” His smile widened into a grin, and the only reason she didn’t find it insufferable was because it meant his anger had faded. “There’s no need to be.”

“Damn it, Denys, who is that woman?”

“Not Lady Georgiana. But the next time I see Nick,” he added before she could reply, “I’ll be sure to tell him you think his wife is perfect for me.”

“His wife?” She felt a surge of relief, followed at once by irritation because she knew she shouldn’t be feeling anything of the sort. “Well, how was I supposed to know? I’ve never met her. Either way, the point’s the same.”

“Point?” he scoffed, his grin vanishing. “What point? That you had some harebrained idea to be self-sacrificing? Not,” he added at once, “that I necessarily believe you. Self-sacrifice has never been your strong suit.”

“I didn’t just do it for you,” she reminded. “I did it for my own sake as well.”

“Because Henry made you a—what was it?—a better offer.”

She winced. Those words sounded every bit as brutal as she’d intended them to be when she’d spoken them.

“I’m sure I’m an idiot for asking,” he murmured, “but why was Henry’s offer to make you his mistress better than my honorable proposal of marriage?”

“Making me his mistress wasn’t Henry’s offer. He wasn’t the least bit interested in doing so, and neither was I. Henry already had a mistress, a very respectable woman. He wanted to protect her good name.”

Denys stared at her, looking understandably skeptical. “You mean it was all a charade? You allowed yourself to be used as a front to protect some other woman’s reputation?”

“Yes. Her name is Alice van Deusen. She’s the headmistress of New York City’s finest finishing school for girls. Henry met her when he was living here and she was on a tour of England with a group of her pupils. They fell in love, and that’s why he returned to New York. But because he was already married, they had to keep their affair a secret. If anyone found out she and Henry were lovers, Alice and her school would be ruined. I know I can trust you not to tell anyone about her.”

“Of course, but why would you agree to such an arrangement? Why would you allow Henry to use you in such a way?”

“It was convenient for me as well as for Henry. He protected Alice’s good name, and he made a lot of money by backing my show. But I was protected, too, for no man would dare make advances to me, or try to take advantage of me, not with Henry to deal with. And I made money, too, of course. And I learned acting the proper way. But the important thing to me at the time was that I got a fresh start, away from—”

“Away from me,” he finished when she fell silent.

She swallowed hard. “Yes. Going with him kept me in the world where I belong. Oh, Denys,” she added with a sigh as she watched his lips press tight, “you and I both know what your people thought of me. To them, I was a gold-digging tramp.”

“And you cared so much what my family thought.”

“I did care! I cared for your sake. I’d already put a wedge between you and your family, and I couldn’t bear to make it wider. And what if you started to blame me for it?”

“I wouldn’t have done.”

“That’s an easy thing to say, but with your family disparaging me at every opportunity, after months or years of being cold-shouldered by your friends—”

“My friends would never have done such a thing. Do you really think Nick, Jack, James, or Stuart cared tuppence about your background?”

“Their wives would have cared.”

He inhaled sharply, and his head went back, demonstrating she’d touched on another hard truth. “None of my friends had wives back then,” he muttered, but he didn’t look at her, making it clear he knew just what a feeble argument he was making.

“I knew they’d have wives at some point, and it’s women who rule society, Denys. You know that as well as I do. Do you think they would have accepted me? Me, a cabaret dancer, a woman most of their husbands had been infatuated with at one time or another? And even if they did swallow it down for your sake, they’d never do more than be civil. And no other women of your Britishtonwould have even gone that far.”

He shook his head, looking at her again, fighting what she was saying. “You don’t know that.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she cried. “I do know. I know far more than you realize. Did you ever stop to think about what our life would have been like? No dinner invitations, no one coming to tea, no house parties at Arcady, everyone you know giving you the cut, one by one—”

“I didn’t think things like that mattered to you.”

“They matter toyou, Denys. And to your family. And your friends. Anyone who chose not to turn their backs on you would suffer guilt by association. I couldn’t do that to you.”

He didn’t seem impressed by the knowledge that she’d left him for his own sake. He plunked his hands on his hips and scowled at her. “I don’t suppose you could have told me any of this at the time?”