Page 38 of No Mistress Of Mine

That was the real reason she was angry enough to spit nails. She was angry with herself. Hearing Denys say what he thought of her opened a wound inside, a wound she hadn’t been honest enough with herself to admit was even there.

She’d ceased to care a long time ago what people thought of her, but Denys was different. He had always been able to get under her skin and slip past her defenses like no one else could.

And that feeling seemed to be mutual, or he would not have kissed her. He’d done it intending to prove the untenable nature of their partnership, but it was only untenable if he still wanted her.

He resented her, he might even despise her, he certainly did not want to forgive her, and he hadn’t a shred of respect for her. But amid all that, the lust he’d once felt for her was still there.

That was a possibility she had refused to consider until now. During the weeks since Henry’s death, whenever the possibility that Denys might still want her passed through her mind, she’d dismissed it and chided herself for her conceit. On the voyage over, it was the one scenario she hadn’t rehearsed, the one contingency she had refused to plan for. Even last night, when Kitty had warned her, she’d managed to convince herself it was as likely as flying pigs. But now, her body still burning from his kiss, she no longer had the luxury of self-deceit. His desire for her was still there. And, as that kiss had so ruthlessly demonstrated, so was her desire for him.

Mortified, Lola groaned and buried her flushed face in her hands, heedless of the pedestrians streaming by. Her whole life, she’d lived by the knowledge that if anything was going to happen for her in this world, she’d have to make it happen. When Henry’s will had dropped this chance in her lap, she’d known it would be up to her to make it work, and she’d dared to think that was possible. She’d hoped—foolishly, perhaps—that she could wipe away the past and start again. That she could erase the girl who’d taken off her clothes for men in a Brooklyn saloon and the cabaret dancer who’d allowed herself to be kept by her aristocratic lover. She’d believed that she, who had perfected the art of using sexual allure to entertain, could become an actress and producer worthy of respect. And yet, she had just behaved like the wanton everyone, including Denys, believed her to be.

The moment he’d hauled her into his arms, she ought to have shoved him away, slapped him across the face, and told him to keep his hands to himself. He’d kissed her, he’d even manhandled her, and not only had she allowed it, she’d relished every second of it, and she hadn’t spared a thought for their partnership, her aspirations, and her future.

“Are you all right, miss?”

Lola lifted her head, turning to find a young man standing beside her, a young man in the pin-striped suit and ink-stained cuffs of a clerk, who was studying her with polite concern.

She pasted on a smile at once. “Yes, of course. Thank you.”

He went on, and Lola took a deep, steadying breath, working to think with her head.

In choosing to come back here, she’d ignored some of the possible consequences, true, but even if she’d allowed herself to foresee today’s events, would she have chosen to stay in New York and let this opportunity slip through her fingers?

Not a chance.

She’d spent years shimmying around a stage showing off her body, but she wanted to show the world she really could act. She wanted the critics who had heaped scorn on her for her performance inA Doll’s Houseto eat the biting words they’d written about her afterward. She wanted respect, the professional respect garnered by the likes of Ellen Terry and Sarah Bernhardt, respect performers like her never got. And she wanted to learn the business side of things. She wanted to produce her own plays, see her ideas come to life in a way that was not only creatively satisfying but also profitable.

The Imperial was her chance to do all those things, and she wasn’t about to let one stupid kiss get in the way. She might have blindly refused to see this coming, but she’d always known this partnership wouldn’t be smooth sailing, so there was no point in crying at the first squall. What she and Denys had once had was over, and any lingering desires from their past could not be allowed to get in the way of the future—for either of them.

Denys must be made to see her not as his former lover, or as his former mistress, or as the woman who’d hurt him. She had to make him see her as his equal.

And just how,a rather deflating little voice inside her whispered,are you going to do that?

As if in answer, Denys’s voice came back to her.

Can you contribute even one idea that would increase the Imperial’s profits?

Of all the challenges he’d hurled at her a short time ago, that was the one she had the best chance of rising to, at least in the short term. She had no contacts in London yet, and she had no business experience at all, and she’d never seen a financial statement in her life. But she had intelligence, she had grit, and she had imagination. Those traits had carried her from the stockyards of Kansas City to the cabarets of Paris to a successful one-woman show in New York. Surely she could rely on them now.

With that, Lola’s innate optimism and resolve began to return. She’d arrange that partnership meeting, just as she’d told Denys she would, and she could only hope he showed up because she intended to bring an absolutely brilliant business idea with her. She just had to figure out what it was.

She considered for a moment, then she pulled her handbag from under her arm, opened it, and extracted the cards Denys had given her earlier. The first thing to do was to keep her part of the bargain she’d proposed and find herself an agent. And perhaps, she thought, tapping the white card against the smooth kid of her gloved palm, she’d learn some valuable information and gain some ideas in the process.

Chapter10

Denys thought he’d made it plain to Lola that they could never be partners, and that kiss, though unintended, had provided ample proof of the reasons why. He soon discovered, however, that despite everything, she remained undeterred.

First thing Monday morning, he received her formal written request calling for a meeting, making him more determined than ever to find a way out of this. But his options were limited. The only means of escape he could see were to sell his family’s share, buy her out, or find some way to break the partnership agreement. The first he still refused to consider, and the second he’d already tried, so the third was his only hope. He discussed the matter at length with his solicitors and spent two days poring over the partnership agreement, but to no avail, and he began to fear he might be stuck with Lola for good.

But then a note came from his friend Nick, inviting him to a private dinner at White’s with Jack Featherstone and their other two closest friends, and Denys’s spirits revived a bit. Being acquainted with Lola already, the other four men knew she was chaos in a corset. And they’d seen Denys’s disastrous liaison with her play out in full, so they would appreciate why he had to keep that woman as far from him and his family as possible. And they were all men of business. They might have valuable advice to offer. He accepted Nick’s invitation with alacrity.

The following night, he waited until after they had dined and the port had made its first journey around the table before he opened the topic weighing so heavily on his mind.

“Lola’s back in town.” Those words would impel any man to need a drink, and he immediately downed his port in one draught.

The initial response of his friends varied. Nick nodded, not seeming surprised, probably because his wife, Belinda, was one of the most influential ladies of society and heard every scrap of news almost the moment it happened. Stuart, the Duke of Margrave, raised one dark eyebrow with ducal impassivity and said nothing. James, the Earl of Hayward, gave a low whistle. Jack, ever irrepressible, actually laughed.

“You seem a bit rattled by this, old boy,” he said. “Is there a problem?”

---