Page 65 of Guardian Demon
Still, she refused to speak.
He had the upper hand and he knew it. He proved it to them both by grinding against her and stroking his tongue along hers, his body weight pressing her into the furs.
She moaned helplessly, past trying to hide her desire as she shamelessly ground her hips against his leg.So close.She was so close but the relief hovered just out of reach.
At the same time, a tiny, frightened part of her cried out in dismay. That part longed to fall, desperately so, but it needed to trust someone would be there to catch her. And it didn’t.
“Say it, Sunshine, and I’ll let you come.”
A frustrated growl tore out of her. How dare he abuse his power over her. How dare he have such power to begin with.
“Say it—”
“I can’t!” she cried, the strain suddenly unbearable.
He stopped. The movement of his thigh, the heat of his kiss—he stopped it all, lifting his head and peering at her with that unreadable face. “Why not.”
“Because!” Being so close to her peak and being denied it—twice—made her nearly mindless with frustration. “I can’t admit it because I would lose everything!”
He frowned. “What would you lose?”
“Myself! Don’t you see? I can’t— I refuse to go back on everything I am because of your passing fancy. I can’t make that big a sacrifice on a whim.”
His brows rose. “My passing fancy.”
Damn him and his inscrutable non-expressions!“That’s all this is to you, isn’t it? A game. That’d be a great one for the track record, wouldn’t it? I’m sure all your demon friends would love to hear how you fucked a virgin angel.”
His head reared back, and she knew she’d gone too far. Not only did she know he wasn’t like that—she’d learned there was far more to his character than she’d initially given him credit for—but it was also too exposing ofherfeelings.
Sunshine didn’t crave sex for sex’s sake and she doubted she ever would. What she did crave was intimacy. Connection. And though she hated to admit it, the feelings she had for Raum were because she craved that with him.
And knowing what he thought of her in return… It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. It was gut wrenching, in fact. And she wasn’t ready to confront it, so she’d lashed out.
“Yeah, you’re right.” His voice was cold as he sat up. Even now, her body wept at the loss of his heat. “It’s all a big game to me. If you were smart, you wouldn’t touch me. And if I was smart, I wouldn’t touch you either.”
“Because I’m the terrible angel who ruined your life.” She sat up with a scoff, straightening her clothing, fighting to regain composure. Alone. She wanted to be alone. “If you find me so repulsive, why kiss me in the first place?”
He moved to the edge of the bed, and she half hoped he would leave, half hoped he would lay down next to her again. Instead he said, “Maybe I want to fuck with you. Maybe I want to ruin your life like you ruined mine.”
Her stomach clenched. “Well, congratulations, it’s working. I am currently in Hell, in bed with a demon who hates my guts and thinks I’m a liar, and—”
“I don’t think you’re a liar. I think you’re a manipulator and a blackmailer.”
His words cut like knives. “Oh, well, thanks very much for the clarification,” she snapped, hating that her voice trembled. “It’s a very important distinction—”
“I also think you’re selfish, and I resent you for forcing me into this. For threatening my brother’s lives.” He still wouldn’t look at her. “You know, Meph spent half his life in literal and figurative hell, and he only just made peace with himself. And now here you are, coming to take that away if I don’t steal your precious book.”
The words seemed to spill out of him as if they’d been collecting behind a failing dam. “And don’t even get me started on Eva. She may be a Nephilim, but she’s just an innocent fucking girl. She’s barely thirty years old. I don’t get why you think she’s Heaven’s public enemy number one when all she wants is to make beats and play jazz. Real dangerous, I know. Better kill her before she upsets the precious balance of—”
“I wouldn’t have done it!” Sunshine suddenly shouted. “I was never going to do it!”
In an instant, the lying became too much. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. She never should have tried.
Raum fell silent, and she blew out a breath.Time to come clean, I suppose.
“I wouldn’t have done it,” she repeated, softer.
“What does that mean.” His voice was flat.
