Page 103 of Tempting Fate
He heard footsteps clattering through the trees, then Raylene utter a swear word and he smiled to himself. She came around the corner and pushed through the brush in her tight Western jeans and those turquoise boots that never failed to rev his engine.
“What? What was so important that I had to leave Annie with all the work?”
“This,” he said, and lifted his arms. “Why can’t this be your horse farm?”
She huffed out a breath. “Because it’s in Nugget.”
He wanted to ask what was wrong with Nugget. It was where he lived, after all, but obviously he didn’t factor into her decision. “I get that. And in the beginning, I would’ve agreed that you couldn’t live here. But things have changed; people’s opinions about you have changed.”
“I don’t know about that. But, more importantly, my opinion of this place hasn’t changed. I hate it.” She sounded too defensive, like someone trying to protect herself, if you asked Gabe.
“It doesn’t seem like you hate it. You’d be close to Logan and Annie when they have the baby.” And then, because he couldn’t help himself, he blurted, “And close to me.”
She didn’t say anything for a while, just stared down at the toes of her boots. “It would never work. None of my relationships ever have.”
“You don’t know until you try.”
“I’ve tried, and they still failed.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, only that he wanted her to stay more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. But he couldn’t force her. “I just thought this would be perfect for you.” He stared up at the painted sky. “And the best part is that you already own it.”
“Even if it was perfect, I’d still need capital to build a barn, corrals, fences, a place to live. I’d need stock. Where would I get that kind of money?”
“Where would you get it in LA?”
She hitched her shoulders. “I guess I’ll invest the money I get from this place, and maybe in a few years I’ll have enough.”
At least she had a semblance of a plan, though it seemed counterproductive to sell perfectly good land to buy new property. “It’s your choice; I had just hoped you’d stay.” He wanted to tell her that he’d fallen for her and get down on his knees and beg her not to leave.
But it would mean taking on the responsibility of making her happy, and he just couldn’t put himself in that untenable place again.
“You want to follow me back?” she asked. “Dinner is in less than thirty minutes.”
“Yeah, sure.”
She started to walk away.
“Raylene?”
“Yes.” She turned to see what he wanted.
He might as well tell her. “I love you. I didn’t want to.” He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “But it happened and now I don’t know what the hell to do about it.”
She stared at him for a while and then shook her head. “Bad timing, I guess.” She continued to head for her truck.
“That’s it? Bad timing. That’s all you’re gonna say?” He’d just for the first time in his life told a woman he loved her and she’d walked away. “Hold up.” Gabe went after her.
“If we don’t get moving, we’ll be late,” she said when he took her arm. “Annie put a lot of work into this dinner.”
“Did you not hear what I said?” He paused. “I love you.”
“Then we’re in the same boat, because I love you, too, and I didn’t want to either. I’m not good at it. Worse, I’m destructive.” When he didn’t say anything, she reiterated, “I’m like a human wrecking ball, crushing everything in my wake. I don’t want to do that to you, Gabe. You’re the only man I ever wanted to save from myself. That’s how much I love you.”
“You’ve never known a man like me. I can save myself, Raylene. But I don’t need saving from you. You know why? Because you’re good.” He put his hand over her heart. “Right here, you’re good. I know you don’t think so, but I’m telling you, you’re good. Right down to your marrow. You’re good.”
Tears streamed down her face. “No, I’m not. You only see what you want to see.”
“Nope.” He shook his head adamantly. “I see what Logan sees, what Annie sees, what Harper sees, what those women at Lucy’s House see. I see good. I see so much damn good that I don’t even know if I’m worthy.”
