Page 8 of Tender Offer
“He’s meant for his wife. Let go.”
I huff out a laugh. “Oh, I got that loud and clear.”
Nothing is a blow to the ego like your crush telling you he only kissed you because he saw the woman he actually wants with someone else. What we shared in the back of the theater during movie night felt like the start of a new chapter. Instead, it was the end of a saga. I’m not the star of this love story. I never was.
Tammi is silent. She hasn’t pulled a single punch since we shared an apartment during our study abroad trip to Paris. She was only there for the summer, but we’ve kept in touch over the years. Aside from Kojo, she’s my only friend. Someone who doesn’t use people to climb social ladders and never hesitates to call me out from a place of love.
“You’re someone’s choice, not an option.” Her voice cuts through the silence. There’s no edge or playfulness in her tone. It’s gentle but loud and clear.
The feelings I harbored aren’t a secret. Tammi might be a pastor’s wife, but she hasLove & Hip Hoptendencies. She knows I’d never cross any physical lines while Terrence is still with Justice. I do havesomemorals. But my crush was still a source of tension in our friendship, to the point where she stopped talking to me for half a year.
Tammi was always quick to remind me of the harm it caused. She deals with vultures trying to prey on her marriage while praying with her husband. Smokey and Tyrese couldn’t appear in the same room without you assuming they’re twins. It’s no surprise that Calvary Macedonia keeps half of Detroit in its seats with Smokey’s megawatt smile, bald head, and sleepy eyes.
I had to talk Tammi off the ledge a time or two from “knocking a Jezebel’s wig loose.” Her husband only has eyes for his wife, and he sets boundaries with their congregation. That doesn’t stop the occasional person from shooting their shot.
Smokey and Tam grew up in Detroit together. He got caught up in street life and joined the military after tragedy hit his doorstep. They were always close but never dated. Years passed, but the love they had for each other didn’t. When Smokey moved back, he made his intentions known.
He’s handsome in his own right, but he met his match with my friend. I know she tempts the devil with her full curves in radiant chocolate brown. Her thick natural hair is the envy of everyonein the presence of her crown, myself included. At thirty-eight, she doesn’t look a day over twenty-five and is Ryan Destiny fine. Smokey can’t keep off her, which is why they’ve had five kids in the seven years they’ve been married. I wouldn’t come up for air, either.
“I’m giving up men,” I say, staring at the shadows on the wall. “It’s time to reset, away from exes and dating. No more retreats, apps, or forcing love.”
“It’s not a bad idea,” Tammi says. “Cut off all communication with exes and flings for a fresh start.”
“The only fling here is me tossed to the side.” I blow out a breath that’s more tired than frustrated. “I’m done searching for my someone.”
Terrence has all the qualities of a partner. No one has matched him since Preston. The latter is in a league of his own, tucked away out of sight and in the furthest corner of my mind.
Preston is a song you commit to memory, a melody you hum without thinking. Remnants of his scent still coat the air on any given day. What happened between us was a spiritual experience—two souls tying together. Erasing him from my psyche took years of practice, and even still I’ve yet to master it.
“You’ll find each other when it’s time. Remember, you’re the choice, not an option.”
“I’m the choice,” I repeat.
“Doll Baby, lemme part them cheeks. We got nine minutes,” a raspy bass croons on the other end of the line.
“Smokey Mayfield Wright! Madison is on the phone.” Tammi can pretend she’s upset all she wants. The hitch in her voice says otherwise, and I don’t blame her for whatever Bible game they’re about to play.
“My bad. What’s good, Maddie?”
“Hey, Smokey.”
“I need to get at my wife before this service for, uh, prayer,” he says, convincing absolutely no one. The man is sprung on Tammi, and I love that for my friend.
“Let me go and get ready,” she laughs. “Text me when you make it back home. Love you, girl.”
“Love you too,” I say. “Bye, Smokey!”
“Be easy!” The good pastor tells Tammi to put on her Sunday hat before the call drops. Those two are wild.
One day.
I call in my breakfast order to room service for the sixth time this week. A slice of brioche with fresh jam and honey in one of the restaurants would be faster, but that’s not happening. I limited my trips outside the room since running into Justice and her best friend. Justice would cry if she stepped on an ant, but Emma glares like a protective sister every time she sees me. It’s the same look Dominique gave my middle school bully before she got two months of detention for introducing her hands to the conversation.
My mouth is spicy, but I’m no fighter.
I’m showered, dressed in a knit sweater and vegan leggings, and packed when the doorbell rings. The chime is faint but loud enough for me to hear in the bathroom. After the finishing touches on my makeup, I do a final sweep for anything I forgot to put in my suitcase. New York is my final destination this afternoon, and I’m leaving with more clarity.
The single life was never a problem. Fear of losing myself in a man was.
