Page 33 of Tender Offer

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Chapter 18

15 years ago

Date:September 16, 2009, 6:02 am

From:[email protected]

To:[email protected]

Subject:My knickers

Could you reach out to Jeeves about the laundry service? He refuses to believe I’m staying with you.

Also, stop eating my eclairs when you swoop in.

Your Disgruntled Roommate

Date:September 16, 2009, 6:08 am

From:[email protected]

To:[email protected]

Subject:Who is Jeeves?

Jean-Pierremight be amenable to your requests if you stop calling him Jeeves. Where did you come up with such a name?

If you didn’t hoard pastries like a cult member waiting for doomsday, I’d have nothing to steal.

P

Date:September 16, 2009, 6:15 am

From:[email protected]

To:[email protected]

Subject:Ask Jeeves…duh!

Your fancy hotel butler manages the suite. Jeeves is the cartoon butler from Ask Jeeves. He answers questions. You tell me to ask your butler whenever I need help.

Ask Jeeves.

If you assist with laundering my knickers, I’ll overlook your theft.

Your Still Disgruntled Roommate

Date:September 16, 2009, 6:23 am

From:[email protected]

To:[email protected]

Subject:….

I bet you’re laughing at that attempt at a joke, huh? Fun fact: You’re in Paris. No one says “knickers.”

Hard to steal what’s in our kitchen. Tell you what, I’ll replace your coveted eclairs with English pastries.