Page 87 of Ella Gets the D
“I’m going to find Morgan. Talk to her.” I give his arm a squeeze and set off in search of my friend.
Chapter 32
Julian
Tonight, I’d planned to lay my cards on the table. I wanted to talk to Ella about us and working toward whatever kind of relationship she’s comfortable with, one that doesn’t jeopardize her or the kids’ well-being. Another five months don’t need to pass for me to be sure of what I already know—what I’ve known since they day we landed in bed together.
I want her and only her.
It’s been years since I committed myself to one person, and back then it was someone I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with out of duty to my family. Ella is different. I yearn for her, whether I’m thousands of miles away or stuck in meetings downtown. She’s not just a bright spot in my life—she’s become my source of my peace and joy. My love.
I’ll admit the connection was damn near instant, which gave me pause. I’ve been physically attracted to women before, but not like this.
Ella, Jackson, and Haile are part of the future I’m writing, the one I want to live for me. At least, that’s my hope, but all of thatcould go to shit if she doesn’t take a chance on me because of my reputation.
She’s cautious, and rightfully so. Last time she trusted a man she loved it blew up in her face in one of the worst ways imaginable. In a twisted way, it brought us together, and it intertwined our lives in ways I never expected or knew possible.
I want more, without an ocean between us, and I intended to tell her once we got home.
That was the plan. I didn’t want to have the conversation here, in the private room of a lounge, surrounded by my team, the women they brought, and a reminder of the past I’ve been dodging. If there’s one ounce of suspicion that I’ll put El through the same shit her ex did, she won’t jump, and I need her to know I’ll catch her.
The swish of her hips moves her ass from side to side as she glides across the wood floor. The little black dress she’s wearing dips in the back, held up by two thin strips I want removed. Preferably with my teeth.
She looks exquisite tonight—that wasn’t a lie. My dick has been standing at half-mast since that guy with the wings fucked off and she circled the ass I can’t take my eyes off of over my erection. I can’t have her the way I want, but that won’t stop us from discovering new loopholes to the no-penetration rule.
“Julian.”
Kierra’s voice registers, but my focus is still on Ella, who’s laughing next to Morgan and a guy I need to ask my sister about later. Her private life is her business, but she can’t be reckless trying to get over Joseph who obviously isn’t over her.
“Julian.”
“Hey.” I keep my expression indifferent but soften when I see Kierra’s disappointment.
Her gaze darts over my shoulder. Kierra isn’t mean-spirited, but it’s clear she’s sizing Ella up. “I haven’t seen much of you since you came back. Are you here for good?”
“Working on it.”
She nods. “Maybe we can catch up.” Her eyes flicker to Ella. “When you aren’t busy.”
“Kee,” I say with a sigh. “That’s not necessary. I’d like for us to be friendly when we see each other in passing, but I’m with someone.”
“Yeah, okay.” She squares her shoulders and takes an abrupt step back.
I reach the other end of the circular bar to order a scotch, and I catch Antonio tracking Kierra and her friends, who are heading for the door. “You should go after her.” I nod her way, but when I follow his gaze, it clicks. His focus is on someone else. “Miriam?” The name of a woman who’s his exact opposite wedges in my throat.
“She doesn’t want me.” He glances sideways before his eyes land back on Kierra’s best friend, who’s in textured black leggings and a loose blouse. She adjusts her wide-rimmed glasses and giggles at something her friend said, shaking her long black curls.
Antonio has never been hard up for women, but the way his eyes cling to Miriam suggests something different than a casual hookup. There’s a quiet calculation, like he’s counting the steps between them and might leap off his barstool at any minute. His chin lowers at her departure, bringing his attention back to the bar with a low sigh.
I take a sip of my scotch. “Do I have to watch you sulk at this party I didn’t ask for all night?”
“It’s about time you showed your face. You never go out anymore. Aren’t you tired of playing house yet?”
“Who says I’m playing?”
His eyes grow three sizes. “What happened to the in-house sex situation? I thought it was just a casual thing, not that you’d become a stepdad to her kids.”
I cut my eyes at him, silently telling him to knock it off. Whatever crawled up his ass and pissed him off is not a license to act reckless with his words. “It was never casual,” I say with emphasis. “If you knew half of the shit Ella went through, you’d watch your mouth. The truth is, I got tired. All of this”—I wave a hand around the room—“got tired fast.”
