I widen my eyes.Dr.Sanchez?He’s not my doctor.My doctor is Dr.Manuel.
“The rest of your clothes, please, Daniela.”
“Papa, why are you doing this?”
“You know why.”
My heart thumping widely, I completely undress in front of my father.
My nipples harden against the chill in his office.
I cover them with my arms.
Then a knock on the door.
“Come in, Dr.Sanchez,” my father says, his voice low and rumbly.
The door opens, and to my relief, Dr.Sanchez is a woman.
Perhaps she’ll feel sorry for me, not do what my father is inevitably going to ask of her.
I mean, she can’t abort a baby right in this office, can she?
“Señor Agudelo,” Dr.Sanchez says, her voice cold.
“This is my daughter, Daniela,” my father says.“I suspect she’s pregnant.”
Dr.Sanchez eyes me.“Her breasts do seem a little bit swollen,” she says.“But I won’t know for sure until she takes a pregnancy test, though I can examine her manually.If her cervix is soft and high in the vagina, pregnancy is indicated.But it only takes a moment to have her urinate on the pregnancy test.”
“Yes, we will do that afterward.But first I’d like you to examine her manually.”He returns his glare to me.“Lie down, Daniela.”
I look at the Turkish rug on my father’s floor.“Here?On the floor?”
“I’m afraid I don’t have an exam table in here, my dear.So unfortunately, Dr.Sanchez will have to kneel to do her examination.”
“That’s not a problem,” Dr.Sanchez says coldly.
I look at her.Her cold dark demeanor.I plead with my eyes.Don’t do this.You’re a doctor.You’re supposed to do no harm.
“Daniela, my patience is wearing thin,” my father says.
I lie down.
“Spread your legs, please,” Dr.Sanchez says, her voice like an icicle.
I do as I’m told, and I close my eyes.
It helps to close your eyes.It helps to block out what’s happening to you.
I do it a lot when my father’s associates are having their way with me.
Except for when they explicitly demand that I leave my eyes open.
If I don’t, sometimes they strike me.And not always with the back of their hand.
Cold hands slide inside me.Doctors usually use lube, but Dr.Sanchez does not.I have an awful feeling that she was told to make this as unpleasant for me as possible.
As if lying naked on the floor of my father’s office isn’t awful enough.