Page 73 of Slaying the Shadow Prince
The thing between them was too fresh, too raw and untried for such conversations.
She didn’t speak again. But he kept glancing to that sliver of moon, and for a split second, Drue thought she saw a glimmer of darkness flash across his face.
When at long last they returned to the tavern and set the horses loose, Drue couldn’t take the silence any longer. ‘Is something wrong?’ she asked as he pushed open the heavy door to The Dancing Badger. She had never been one to tip-toe around things and she damn well wasn’t going to start now.
Talemir took another swig from his flask and busied himself with lighting the fire in the hearth. ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ he told her.
Frowning, Drue followed him inside and marvelled as the steel cuff warmed against her skin, not sensing a monster, but a lie.
16
Talemir
Talemir hated lying to her, but he also couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. He was a coward. Instead, he forced down his tonic, ignoring the wave of nausea it now brought with it. He knew full well that when the new moon graced the skies and the night was at its darkest, the change would be upon him.
He had faced it several times since the final battle of Naarva, each time as painful and heart-wrenching as the last. Wings spearing through his back, talons unsheathing from his fingertips and that song of shadow that made him want to unleash himself upon the midrealms.
How could he tell her that? After everything they’d shared, he couldn’t bear the shame of her witnessing that. Of proving her right – that he was every bit the monster she had claimed he was from the start.
And so he feigned fatigue from the ride, though they both knew he could ride for days, and set up his bedroll separate from hers.
Talemir knew his actions made little sense, knew he should confide in her, that in spite of their beginning together, she might yet understand. But that shame, a burning ball of it within, stopped him every time he went to open his mouth.
The fire burned low, and he lay on his side, his body humming with the awareness that Drue was only mere feet away, that the night before he’d fallen asleep holding her. But with her so close, he felt even less in control over his shadow-self than usual, and the last thing he wanted was a humiliating repeat of what had happened at the hot springs, or worse.
Judging from the sliver of crescent moon left, he had five days, probably less, before the darkest night was upon him. He could leave, but that would mean leaving her without his protection, and he couldn’t stand the thought of that. All he could do was hope that Adrienne and her Naarvian forces arrived before the new moon did, and then he could slip away.
The next daywas a repeat of the one before, though things between him and Drue were noticeably stilted as they rode to the raider headquarters. They scouted the surrounding areas of the village and checked on the captives in the warehouse from afar. He could tell Drue was itching to burst in and rescue them, but again, he reminded her they needed to wait for the general.
Talemir could feel her watching him, assessing him, so much so that he’d taken to hiding when he drank his tonic. She had clearly noticed he was taking more than usual. Furies save him, she was as sharp-eyed as that hawk of hers.
They spent hours retracing their steps from the day before, double-checking the numbers they’d noted down and any patterns that emerged this time around. Drue sketched a map and a more detailed drawing of the warehouse layout, including all its exits and windows that could be seen from various hidden vantage points across the stronghold.
He watched her as she rolled up the parchment, her blue eyes fierce and determined, her movements purposeful. She never stopped assessing, never hesitated as they ducked between buildings and scaled the walls. She would have made a fine warrior of Thezmarr, perhaps even a Warsword, had she been given the opportunity.
‘You can tell me, you know,’ she blurted, as they trudged back to their horses a few hours later, the information they’d gathered safely tucked away.
Talemir glanced across at her, meaning to claim ignorance, but Drue saw right through him.
Her answering stare brimmed with challenge. ‘Whatever it is that’s bothering you, I want you to know that you can tell me. That you can tell me anything.’
Talemir’s heart knotted at that. Gods, she was strong – far stronger than him, a force to be reckoned with all on her own. And he knew that what had come between them, the strained tension that had wound its way around him, had never been her fear of him, but his own.
‘And if you’re not ready,’ Drue continued, peering right into his soul, ‘then you’re not ready. But I’ll be here when you are.’
Her words caused a lump to form in his throat, his chest tightening. Her graciousness, her bravery – it humbled him. And so he decided not to deny his fears, not to her. Never again to her. ‘Thank you,’ he managed, voice cracking.
Drue smiled as they reached their horses. ‘What do you say to round two of darts when we get back?’
‘Are you going to insist I take my clothes off again?’ Talemir quipped, suddenly feeling lighter than he had all day.
Drue returned his grin. ‘Among other things.’
Those words alone sent a thrill through him. ‘I hope you don’t expect me not to retaliate this time.’
‘Oh, I’m counting on it.’
It wasn’t long before they were riding back towards the miners’ village, and all Talemir could think of was everything he was going to do to her, how he was going to worship her until she screamed his name.
