Page 95 of The Life Experiment
Placing the book on top of the paints, Angus went back to his bag. His hand paused on the next item. He knew how hard saying this would be, but as he heard Gilly struggle to swallow back tears, he knew he had to.
‘My favourite childhood memories are of you, me and Hugo baking together. We always made such a mess, do you remember?’ Angus braved a look at his mother.
Tears filled Gilly’s eyes, but she ignored them. ‘Chocolate cake was Hugo’s favourite,’ she said simply.
‘It was. The day of his funeral, you cried and said you would never eat chocolate cake again.’ The memory seared Angus, but he didn’t shy away from it. ‘We never baked one after that. In fact, we stopped baking altogether, but we shouldn’t have. We should have made chocolate cake every year on Hugo’s birthday. And we should have talked about him. Kept him with us. Shared that pain.’
‘We should have,’ Gilly agreed, closing her eyes as her tears escaped.
‘It’s not too late to start,’ Angus said, pushing through his emotion so he could speak. ‘I bought a Nigella cookbook. The lady at Waterstones said there’s a great chocolate cake recipe in there. We can bake it later, if you feel up to it.’
‘Oh, darling,’ Gilly whispered as he added the book to the stack on her bed.
‘I think it’s time we stop hiding from the pain, and from each other,’ Angus continued. ‘I want to spend time with you, and talk about Hugo more. Make new memories.’ With the paper bag now empty, Angus folded it in his hands. ‘I know some of this stuff is silly. I just wanted you to know that I care. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like I didn’t. I’m also sorry if they’re not the right supplies. I’m not a painter or baker or—’
‘Stop, Angus,’ Gilly interrupted, leaning forward and catching her son’s hand. ‘They’re perfect.’
A smile lifted the corners of Angus’s mouth. Reaching forward, he wrapped his mother in his arms, holding her gently. A moment later, Gilly’s arms found Angus too.
45Layla
The Life Experiment: Daily Questionnaire
Property of OPM Discoveries
How would you rate your level of contentment today? (1 represents low contentment, 10 represents high)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
How would you rate your energy level? (1 being very low energy and 10 being very high energy)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
What are two things you are grateful for today?
Michelle putting me in contact with her friend in legal aid. We’ve only chatted once, but I felt more excited after that call than I have in ages
Maya visiting for the weekend. It will be nice to not be alone
What are you struggling with today?
Being excited for the future when I know I won’t be around long enough to enjoy it
Do you have any additional notes on what you would like to discuss in your upcoming counselling session?
I guess we should talk about Angus, but honestly, I don’t know where to begin
Layla didn’t know what was more irritating – Maya barging into her bedroom or Maya throwing her curtains open. ‘Stop!’ Layla protested as the bright light burned her eyes.
‘Don’t be such a misery guts,’ Maya argued, jumping on the bed and throwing her arms around Layla. ‘When I said I was coming to London, I pictured going to cocktail bars and sightseeing, not Rhi working all the time and you sulking in your bedroom like a moody teenager.’
‘I told you, I’m tired.’
‘And I told you, I don’t believe you,’ Maya replied, pulling back Layla’s duvet. ‘Come on, Layls. What is it? What’s wrong?’
The words filled Layla’s throat, but they were too difficult to say. She chose to stare at the radiator instead, hoping the silent treatment would be enough to fend off Maya’s questions.
Layla should have known better.
