Page 104 of The Life Experiment
‘Just look,’ Jasper replied.
‘What is it?’ Gilly asked, but Angus could barely hear her over the pounding in his ears. It grew louder as he read the text on the screen. A screenshot of Maya’s status announcing the death of David Cannon and the details of his funeral.
‘Layla’s… Layla’s dad died?’ he whispered.
Jasper nodded. ‘A heart attack. I’m guessing you didn’t know?’
It took everything in Angus to find the energy to shake his head.
As Gilly quizzed Jasper about Layla, Angus’s eyes closed. He thought back to his many conversations with Layla about her family. Her father was her hero, that much was clear. Every word she spoke about him dripped with love and respect… and now he was gone.
‘Why are you showing me this?’ he said gruffly, pushing the phone away.
‘So you can go to her,’ Jasper replied, like it was simple, but Angus shook his head.
‘I can’t.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous, of course you can! Didn’t you read the death notice? David’s funeral is in three days. It’s in Hull, another place to cross off your bucket list.’ Jasper laughed at his own joke, but his smile faded when he saw Angus’s pain. ‘Look, I know I’m not always the best friend. In fact, most of the time I’m a shit one. A bit like you’ve been recently.’
Angus smiled weakly. ‘Can’t say I don’t deserve that.’
‘You do, but it’s okay. Friends forgive each other. They also point out when their friend is being an idiot. Well, right now you’re being an idiot, Angus. I saw how much you cared for Layla. I’m guessing she felt the same. Trust me, “friends” don’t talk on the phone as often as you two did. It’s the twenty-first century – we communicate through emojis and likes. But you two? It was sickening.’ Jasper grunted as Clarissa nudged his side. ‘Sweet, though, I guess. If you’ve found someone you want to talk to that much, don’t walk away from it.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t realise that when I met her,’ Clarissa added softly. ‘I was shocked to see you with someone. Hurt too, I suppose.’
‘Don’t worry, one day it’ll all be water under the bridge,’ Jasper replied, patting Clarissa’s hand. ‘All that matters is that Layla forgives Angus for being an idiot.’
Angus tried to find the words to reply, but his throat was tight. Painful memories of Layla stirred in him. Lingering glances and shy smiles and firework touches and the constant, pressing thrill of butterflies… Angus’s time with Layla had meant everything to him. Everything.
But thanks to his lies, it was over.
‘No,’ Angus replied, crossing his arms. ‘Layla wouldn’t want me at her dad’s funeral.’
‘Of course she would! You clearly love her!’ Jasper protested, but Angus shook his head.
‘I hurt her, Jasper. I’m not showing up on the hardest day of her life and doing it again. I appreciate your efforts, but they were wasted.’
Despite Jasper’s protests, Angus stood and began to walk away.
‘Angus,’ Gilly called. Something in her voice stopped him. ‘Angus, remember what we spoke about. Love is being there. It’s showing up, especially when things are hard. It’s saying, “I’m here if you need me”. It’s loving them more than you love yourself.’
‘But Layla won’t want me there. I ruined everything between us.’
‘Did you? Or did you simply give up?’
Anger flamed in Angus, but his retort died on his tongue. Had Angus ever told Layla what she meant to him? Had he ever rested her hand on his chest so she could feel the way his heart pounded when she was close?
Had Angus ever told Layla, plainly and simply, that he loved her?
As his shell-shocked gaze met his mother’s, Gilly offered Angus a gentle smile. ‘Go to her, Angus.’
Swallowing hard, Angus nodded. Gilly was right. He had to go to Layla or he would spend the rest of his life wishing he had.
Maybe now wasn’t the time to delay or ask questions.
Maybe now it was time to do something.
49Layla
