Page 123 of August Lane
“That’s how he convinced Ava to—” Bill snapped his fingers. “That’s why I came looking for you. Something’s going on at your mama’s house. Got a call about a big truck parked out front and some strange man taking all her things. I would have gone out there, but she still hates me. Don’t wanna make it worse. Figured I’d tell you and tag along if you want.”
Luke pictured the late mortgage bills he’d spotted a few days ago. He knew Ava was struggling to pay them but didn’t realize it had gotten so bad. “No, I’ll handle it. Thanks for letting me know.”
Thirty minutes later, Luke pulled into Ava’s driveway and parkedbehind a white moving truck. A silver SUV was parked in the driveway. Luke climbed out of his truck just as the front door opened, and a tall Black man dressed in ripped jeans and a B.B. King T-shirt walked outside. The stranger moved closer, and the sun illuminated his face. Luke’s breath caught when he recognized him. “Ethan?”
His brother took a few more steps, then stopped, looking uncertain. His arms dangled at his sides as if he didn’t know what to do with them. “Hey, Luke.”
The ground dissolved beneath Luke’s feet. He felt suspended, waiting for someone to tell him that this wasn’t happening, that his daydreams were getting crueler. Elation and fear warred inside him and rendered him mute.
“She’s selling it.” Ethan pointed to a Realtor’s sign lying in the grass. “Got her checked into a recovery center in Little Rock yesterday.” He cleared his throat. “Probably should have called you.”
“Recovery,” Luke repeated. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. All he could think about was getting his face slapped when he was twelve after she caught him sipping her cheap wine. She’d looked terrified, like she’d caught him loading a gun. “Was that her idea?”
Ethan nodded. “Yeah. I think seeing you like this.” He motioned at Luke. “Healthy. Sober. That had something to do with it. Made her realize it was possible.” He searched Luke’s face with cautious eyes, looking for something he didn’t want to find. “You’ve really been helping her out all this time?”
“Yeah. Wasn’t easy. But things are different now.” He thought about what Bill had just told him about mistakes. “I’m different.”
Ethan nodded, still staring like he was trying to let it soak in. Luke didn’t mind the awkward pauses. He was thrilled to be standing this close to his brother after so long. And hehadchanged because the old version of himself wouldn’t have admitted that. The old Luke would have switched to a safer subject, like where the fresh mulch came from or whether Ethan planned to power wash the driveway. New Luke didn’t have that kind of time. He took a step forward, extended his arms and said, “Can I hug you?”
Surprised flashed across Ethan’s face, then crumbled into somethingraw and tender. He shuffled forward, and their arms flew around each other, aimlessly grasping until they settled into a rocking embrace. Luke cried into his brother’s shoulder. Ethan cried, too, and when they parted, they were both soaked and sweaty, with goofy grins on their faces.
“It was that article,” Ethan said, rubbing his nose. It was cherry red. His brother’s entire face was a splotchy flush, and it felt good to know that some things would never change. “The part where you talked about going to Nashville. That was because of me, wasn’t it? That flyer I gave you.”
“Partially,” Luke said. “You and August. It was silly, but I thought y’all would find me there. But when things got bad… well, I guess I didn’t want you to.”
Ethan sniffed, still rubbing his face. “I don’t know why I thought cutting you off would help. Like if I hurt you enough, I’d hurt less? I was so fucking wrong. Demetrius would bring it up in marriage counseling all the time. How it never felt like I was arguing with him. He’d do something innocent, like turn his phone on silent and I’d be convinced he was leaving me.” Ethan took a deep breath. “Your messages helped. I always felt better when I got one. He noticed that, too.”
“Demetrius sounds like a good guy.”
“He’s wonderful. Patient with me, which I needed after…” His eyes slid to the house. Luke followed his gaze and cleared his throat.
“Need some help packing up?”
Ethan nodded. “She kept everything. Even stuff she claimed to throw away.” His expression darkened. “There’s something you should see.”
Luke followed Ethan inside. The living room was covered in moving boxes, which he expected. But Ethan had also opened the attic, one of the many places Ava had forbidden them to go. He’d pulled down a mountain of black trash bags filled with old clothes, plastic bins of toys, and pots and pans scorched to uselessness. Ethan sifted through all of it to reveal a large box withJASONwritten on the side. He offered it to Luke and said, “I didn’t open it.”
It was sealed with old duct tape that had cracked in places. After so many years of owning nothing of his father’s, Luke couldn’t bringhimself to touch the box. Whatever was inside probably wasn’t much. Just enough to devastate him. “I don’t think I can.”
Ethan pulled a box cutter from his pocket and swiped it over the tape. They both stared at the contents like the man himself had been stowed inside. Luke spotted a photo album and grabbed it first.
There were baby pictures and class photos. Luke took in the slow evolution of his father, captured in snapshots and family portraits. Instead of being a story, his father became a person. A child who’d become a man. There were pictures of him with Ava, who looked young and beautiful and so vibrantly in love it could have leaked into his hands.
“Look.” Ethan pointed to something else in the box. A book. Luke’s breath caught when he realized it was Jason’s poems, the copy Ava had taken from him all those years ago. He opened it and saw his old notes on the pages, music he thought he’d lost forever.
Discovering Ava’s lie should have made him angry. But it didn’t. He didn’t think of her at all. Miracles were supposed to be more than just an old book in a dusty box, but he’d leave the big ones for other people. He’d take this feeling, this gentle realignment of his heart every time.
There were more books in the box. Luke pulled out the slim volumes, one by one, reading the familiar titles of his father’s work with his heart pounding. There was one he didn’t recognize,The Bones of Us, that had been published before he was born. He flipped it open and read the dedication.For Lucas. I will hear you laugh. I will hear you cry. Your blood calls my bones, always.
Luke closed it, bowed his head, and whispered, “Why would she do this?” Taking one book out of spite, he understood. But Jason had written this for him. Obviously wanted him to have it. “Why would she keep this from me?”
“You know why,” Ethan said quietly.
Because she was in pain. Because she loved his father so much that looking at his son, his mirror image, was another ache without a cure. And she couldn’t pretend. She couldn’t watch Luke flip through photographs and read Jason’s writings and pretend to be fine. She never forgave his father for dying and it kept her trapped in that single moment intime. If she was still angry that he’d gone to the bar, that he’d lost a fight, she’d never have to grieve.
“She dumped Don after you left,” Ethan said. “Told him not to come around anymore. Then she just gave up being a parent. Barely noticed when I left for college.”
“Can you forgive her?” Luke asked Ethan. “For everything?”
