Page 12 of In Too Deep

“You ain’t committing bank fraud, shit go smooth every time, just don’t go runnin’ yo mouth to anybody. This shit is strict.”

“I got you.”

“So yeah,” he grinned. “I’ll need your number and shit so I can send you the location when it’s time.”

I pursed my lips while giving him a sadistic side eye. “Don’t use it for nothing else.”

“You’ll never have to tell me nothin’ twice. Just send me a picture of your driver’s license so I can have my nigga make the badge.”

It didn’t feel like I was shaking hands with the Devil, but part of me wanted to stir up faulty emotions. Before every lick, it’s common to get the jitters, but this one felt different than the rest.

“Hoe you gay,every time I come in this mothafucka you be actin’ a lil’ too frisky, always trying to grab my dick and shit, like I can hide sum. If you don’t know what a big dick feel like, blame yo daddy for not blessin’ yo ass, and if he got a lil’ dick then have a talk wit yo granddaddy, and if he got a shrimp then you came from a long line of lil’ dick ass niggas.” I mugged the guard before grabbing my phone so I could slide it into mypocket with my keys.

The police officer was butch, but that didn’t matter to me. Every time I visited my little brother Reese, he did the same shit, touching the same spot, groping all on my dick, like he wasn’t used to a big one. Nigga can’t be shit but gay to be doing all that, when it didn’t take all that.

Still mugging him, I shook my head, before jarring my attention away from him and scanning my eyes around the visitation room to find my brother. When they landed on him, he was walking away from one of the vending machines, opening a bag of Fritos. Glancing my way, the corners of his mouth turned into a wide smile. I staggered towards him, joining him at an empty table, and extended my arms for a hug.

“What’s up mane?” he greeted me, looking like a miniature version of me.

“Nothin’ much, nigga you getting swoll, the fuck they feeding you in here? Let me see how many dick hairs you got now,” I joked, just fucking with him. We shared a laugh as he glanced behind me, making me jolt my head in that direction.

“What was goin’ on with that?”

I sucked my teeth and looked away. “That gay ass police officer be grippin’ on my dick and shit like I got something to hide. I’ma call the police department and file a complaint on that gay ass nigga.”

Reese, laughed again before throwing his head back, gaping his mouth open to dump chips inside.

“Enough of that shit, how you been holdin’ up?”

Shaking his head, he shrugged, momentarily chewing before parting his mouth to respond. “I ain’t got no choice but to keep my head up in here. These niggas trying to make this shit feel like jail.”

“Ain’t that the point of an alternative school?”

Reese attended a Shelby County alternative school, Prepline Academy. His behavioral issues resulted in expulsion from the public school system. The principal at Hamilton High School had given him too many chances, and no one saw any advancements in his conduct. The last straw was indeed the last straw. Our parents figured that having a meeting at the state board of education, they could go above their heads, but at thepoint, due to his prior issues, Reese was ruled a threat. He was violent, like the normality of school shootings and making public threats to harm other children, but bringing drugs on school grounds was a zero tolerance, so they labeled him as a threat. The first time he took an edible, the last time, he took a perc. He bowed out with a farewell and an ass whooping from our pops.

So he wouldn’t be sitting at the house doing nothing, our mother mentioned homeschooling him, but he opted for another suitor—an alternative school, where they treated school like a prison. To our father, it would keep him disciplined and he’d learn his lesson. However, the only downside was that they slept in rooms staged as jail cells without the gimmicks—it gave boys and girls who acted like him something to appreciate on the outside. Reese was in the 10thgrade now, with two more years to go. I guess an upside would be they had their summers to themselves, and they’d get a chance to walk across the stage.

I hated it for him though because I felt like I was the one to blame for his unruly demise. Throughout his life, he sat in the back seat, imposing as a protector, when I should’ve been the one protecting him. Our parents didn’t raise thugs, but the environment we grew up in was too tempting not to become lured into that crowd. Unlike Reese, I played my cards right and my moves in the street were premeditated. Alternative school saved him, because our parents couldn’t.

“Mane, these folks in here watching me shit, shower, and piss. I ain’t feelin’ that,” he objected.

“I can’t say that I can relate, but you got consequences.”

“Roxx visited me yesterday, talking to me like I was his son.”

“Shit,” I snickered at the thought. “As much as we wiped yo ass, we got that right.”

Silence made its presence between us, making shit awkward. Usually, when he grew quiet, he was thinking.

“How is mama holding up? Tell her she got three kids, not just y’all two niggas.”

“You know how she act mane,” I leaned back in the chair and folded my arms over my chest. “She loves you just as much, but seeing you in here, shit just hit different for her. She’ll come around to it. You got to give her time.”

He balled up the full bag of chips, spreading a few crumbs across the clean table. “I know,” he sighed. “I just want to see her is all. Being home for the summer just ain’t enough and when I’m at the house, it’s like she be avoiding a nigga. During spring break she ain’t say shit to me, but kept me fed.”

“That’s more than enough. I’m sure half of these niggas in here don’t have a home to go to. You need to be grateful for what you have because when you lose it, the only thing you have is memories to dwell on. When you came in here, all she did was cry. You’re her baby boy—ourbaby boy.”

Wiping his hand across his head, his dreads dangling down his face. Reese was the same complexion as me, and he was lanky as hell too. Aside from Roxe who had the skin complexion of a new penny, we were all tall as hell. Reese was already the same height as me, making people mistake him for a grown ass man.

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