Page 36 of Bullets and Blood
“There’s more than one winery for sale down here.All those people who rushed out for a tree change with their retirement funds found it more work than they expected, and now they’re trying to get out.”
“Then why this one?”
“I liked it from the moment I rode past it.There’s just something about it… The hills, the stream, the house on site.”He shrugged.“Haven’t you ever decided you want something for no good reason, or are you always the good foot soldier?”
“If I were a good soldier, we wouldn’t be standing here.”He turned and stalked off.
“You granted the truce,” Nix called after him.
Lance spun.“Because I’m a fucking idiot.”
“That makes two of us then, doesn’t it.I should have just surrendered and saved us both the effort of pretending to give a damn.”
Lance closed the distance between them in a few angry strides.“I wasn’t pretending.But it’s good to know you were.”
His blood flowed fast and angry, hot.The roof of his mouth ached, but he had no fangs to push down.Nix held his glare.
“You wanted me to care.”He spat out the words.“To save your life.You got it.It worked.Now what?”Lance raked his fingers through his hair.“They should have put a warning in your file.”He went to turn away, but Nix grabbed his arm.
“I asked for the truce.But you are the one who came to me and jumped on my dick at the beach.”
“You weren’t exactly pushing me away.”
“Why would I?My life is in your hands, Orlan.I exist at your command.So I obey.”Nix released him and gave a little bow.
“I don’t want your obedience.What happened to honesty?”
“Honesty?I’m fucked, and I’ve dragged you down with me.I never meant for that.I didn’t want to ruin your life.Fuck knows the life you want is hard enough as it is.”He studied the vines.“I wish I didn’t care.Instead, I’ll take your ruin to my grave.”Nix sniffed.“I shouldn’t care.”
But Nix did care, and for all the good it would do him, it made Lance’s heart feel like a feather because Nix liked him.“Neither should I.”
“That’s just great then, isn’t it?We’ve played this game with each other and trapped ourselves in a mess that was entirely too much fun to make.”His lips twisted into a bitter grin.“I’m not even smart enough to say I wouldn’t do the same again.”
“I wouldn’t want you to change a thing.”Lance looked back at the house.There would be no welcoming lights come dark, no dinners on the verandah.The fantasy existed in the hope that neither of them could really give voice to.“No doubt he’s watching.I’m going to tell him I need to speak with the lawyers because you think with your heart, not your head.”
“Do you know me at all?”Nix snapped.
“How many relationships did you end so you could say you did the right thing?”
Nix opened his mouth and shut it just as fast before finally answering.“All of them.There’s a reason the blooded always end up with other blooded.It becomes too hard.It hurts more when left too long.When have you had your heart broken?”
"I’ll find out how much it hurts soon enough.”
Nix took his hand.“I can take that away.”
“You don’t get it.I don’t want this to end.”His aunt would kill him if she knew he’d been sleeping with Nix.If he became a Hadley, she’d kill him.If he went home empty-handed, he might as well be dead.“Iwantto be the happy couple.”
“Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”
Lance pulled him close and kissed his cheek.“One of the many reasons you like me.”
“It’s really not.”But he didn’t push away.He let himself be led back to the house to tell a few more mistruths to the estate agent.
At the bottom step, Lance paused.“It’s still a dump…but I’d buy it for you in a heartbeat so it could beourdump.”
“You don’t know anything about winemaking.”Nix blinked, his eyes glassy, and looked away.“Besides…this isn’t what you want.”
“No, but you are.If we pretend for one moment that we are just two people, then there is nothing stopping us from living the lives we want.”
